Archive for 'UK News'

Ayatollah Removed From Manchester Petting Zoo on England State Visit

Manchester, UK – (satireworld.com) The Ayatollah Smella Buttholla, in England on a state visit to speak to Moslem/Muslim immigrants and to secure preferential treatment for his people, was removed by police from a Manchester petting zoo today.  The Iranian religious leader was, according to upset parents and crying children, “doing nasty things with the sheep […]

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Senator Chuck Revealed to be Owner of Schumer’s Bloomers

Brooklyn, NY – (satireworld.com) The source of the Schumer family fortune has been found with the discovery that New York Democratic Senator Charles Ellis “Chuck” Schumer is secretly the owner of Schumer’s Bloomers, a woman’s lingerie store located throughout Western Europe.  Not only is the Senator the owner, but is also the President, founder, designer, […]

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Brit Spooks Bugged Trump During 2014 Turdberry Purchase: Report

London – (SatireWorld.com) A bounced Czech and botched drive-by shooting outside the home of Scotland’s Turdberry Golf Course owner kick-started a lengthy investigation into Don T Rump’s offshore financial arrangements insider sources said today.

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Ronco and The Franklin Mint Combine with Democratic Party on Commemorative Plate Set

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) As a fund raiser for the 2020 Presidential Election, the Democratic Party has contracted with Ronco and The Franklin Mint to release a series of commemorative plates.  They will include such famous party individuals as Bill Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, and others.

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Smokin’ Gun News: The Brit Bravery Gong That’s Driving Trump Psychotic

London – (SatireWorld.com) The citation ‘For Acts Of The Greatest Heroism + Conspicuous Courage In Circumstances of Extreme Danger’ perfectly defines Britain’s highest peacetime award.

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Justice Kennedy Resignation On 30th Anniversary Of Diaper Changing Provision At SCOTUS Robing Rooms

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) The 1988 introduction of baby changing mats, breast pumps and comfy breastfeeding support chairs at the US Supreme Court judges’ locker rooms came as a surprise to incumbent Associate Justices as they welcomed new male jurist Anthony McLeod Kennedy to their ranks.

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US Feral Marshals Hunt Black Panthers Mole

Buffalo, New York – (SatireWorld.com)- A United States Marshals Service posse is back on the trail of a missing FBI supergrass in compliance with a farce-moving grand jury probe. Sexagenarian fugitive from justice Perry Stalsis, 69, is described as a key prosecution witness about Black Panther Party infiltration of the American establishment.

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Over-Botoxed Bloodsucker Fails UK Security Check

London – (SatireWorld.com) Secret service bailiffs are poised to evict Meghan Markle from her Kensington Palace safe-house after the ageing American gold digger failed a security background check.

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Brit Thrift Store Chain Swamped With Pervert Staff

London – (SatireWorld.com) – Up to 23,000 suspected sex perverts are manning the tills at 650 state-sponsored thrift shops according to latest government figures released today.

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London Jewel Heist Cops Probe Royal Engagement Bling

London – (SatireWorld.com) – Police on the trail of £30 millionsworth of jewelry from the Hatton Garden heist have issued artist’s impressions of several engagement sparklers suspected of being fenced into eager royal hands.

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Has a ‘dirty’ Brit general covered up Donald Trump’s Russian origins?

London, UK – (SatireWorld.com) A highly decorated World War III general and former UK Chief of Stuff was being quizzed at a covert location this morning following a dawn raid by officers from Operation Ratsarse.

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Hillary Pleads Congenital Amnesia About Amanda Knox

Washington AC/DC – (SatireWorld.com) She’s putting back the con into congenital amnesia in what’s thought to be a little known side effect of post-partum psychosis affecting the world’s most incorrigible liars about the existence of secret offspring they wish didn’t exist.

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Black Thighs Matter As US Protest Spreads To UK

London, UK – (SatireWorld.com) There was heavy disruption close to Heathrow Airport this morning when a group of grossly corpulent activists chained themselves to the freeway in protest at police law enforcement of local gang thuggery.

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Vileness Most Horrid As Brits Recall Cold Blooded Execution Of PM May’s Gorgeous Little Pooch

Downing Street, London, The Seat of Empire – (SatireWorld.com) The silence in Whitehall is deafening tonight as diplomatic staff recoil in horror at events in 2013 when a ‘totally nekkid’ former US Secretary of Snakes Hillary Clinton fatally shot then Home Secretary Theresa May’s ten month-old pet Schnauzer Prokofiev following a crack smoking session with […]

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By Jove Its War I Say, War!

London UK- (satireworld./com) Queen Elizabeth II called in the new British Conservative Prime Minister (PM) Theresa May and asked her to convene Parliament for a declaration of war against animal rights activists. The Queen was upset that these silly upstart animal rights activists have insulted my great grandchild, three year old toddler Prince George. He […]

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‘UK Ministry For Big Oil Relations’ As New Brit PM Scorns Eco-Truther Crap

London, UK – (SatireWorld.com) “Bollocks to global warming is now official UK government policy,” a spokesperson at the newly-created Ministry for Big Oil Relations said today as new British Prime Minister Theresa May wielded the ax to the Tories’ long term flagshit shop window, the Department for the Environment and Climate Change.

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Some States are Considering FEDexit

Ft. Sumter SC – (satireworld.com) Following the BRexit referendum in the UK where the people voted for Britain to leave the European Union (EU), a meeting was held in this southern city to consider a similar proposal in the USA. The proposal was called “Federal Exit” or FEDexit for short.

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To Brexit or not to Brexit, that is the Question

London UK- satireword.com) United Kingdom (UK) citizens will vote on June 23, 2016 to decide whether or not they want to remain a part of the European Union (EU). The pros and cons of a British exit (Brexit) from the EU are being discussed vigorously in Pubs, homes, offices and other locations all over the […]

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Named: Roll Call Of World Leaders Who Have Not Schlepped With Wendi Deng

New York – (Satireworld.com) A poll by online agony aunt DragThruTheMud.con has revealed the Prime Minister of Iceland Sigmundur David Gunn-Laugh-Son sitting top of man-eater Mrs Rupert Murdoch’s refuseniks list after calling her out as ‘a man in drag’ at the Vienna Spring Ball last year.

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The Religious Food Police Have Arrived

London UK – (satireworld.com) You knew it was coming, as the United Kingdom (UK) has again succumbed to “political correctness” with respect to Muslim Immigrants. The nation that defiantly stood alone against the NAZI’s at the beginning of WWII may ban Ham Sandwiches, Bangers and Sausage Rolls from office kitchens for being “offensive!”

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Odd Islamic Custom Now Legal in Europe As Middle East Immigrants Flood Across Borders

Paris, France – (satireworld.com) French politicians recently approved a measure that would allow massive buttocks smelling ceremonies usually held on Friday afternoons in various public parts of the French capitol. According to well placed sources, the event was discouraged at first when children as young as five-years old were noticed walking among the participants. Some […]

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Syrian Dating Site ‘Ashley Martyrdom’ Hacked, Subscribers Outed

MOSUL – The popular Middle Eastern dating site, Ashley Martyrdom, has been hacked and the identities of thousands of ISIS subscribers have been revealed. The outing of many militant fighters has caused much infighting within the ranks of the terror group and sparked a fierce debate over what kind of punishments should be handed out […]

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UK Man Has Head Injury Repaired Using 3-D Printer and Super Glue

Portsmouth (UK) – (satireworld.com) Doctors at Queen Alexandra Hospital have used 3D printing technology to replace most of a man’s missing skull in an innovative procedure which included using simple Super Glue in a process that is sure to revolutionize orthopedic surgery.

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Entire British Website Embraces Islam

Portsmouth (UK) – (satireworld.com) A Muslim covert who was beaten rather severely several times for trying to impose sharia law on British websites claims to have converted numerous writers to a radical form of Islam during his time working patrons at various local pubs in the evening hours according to the Times.

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CafeSpike Voted ‘Most Awful’ Online Magazine For The Second Year In A Row

Portsmouth, UK – (satireworld.com) For the second year in a row, Viral Magazine has voted a UK online publication Cafe Spike ‘the worst piece of trash since the ‘Lady Godiva Chronicles’ a similar online magazine from Canada which won the ‘Most Bizarre’ prize in 2010.

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National Looting Festival Proposed in Baltimore Maryland

Baltimore MD- (satireworld.com) Race Hustler Al Sharpton came to “Charm City” to speak at a protest rally held at City Hall Plaza. Protestors are bent on achieving a politically motivated progressive conviction for an African American man, allegedly slain by the Baltimore Police. The rally occurred after two nights of vandalism; burning of various African […]

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Kate Middleton Vows To Have Royal Baby Live on Downton Abbey

Downton Abbey, England – (satireworld.com) A real-life royal birth is coming to the Crawley residence! Satireworld confirms that Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, will visit the set of Downton Abbey on the day she’s supposed to deliver her royal baby.

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Breaking News for February 28, 2015

Washington DC: (satireworld.com) The following political news items, rumors, gossip and innuendo has been gathered by high placed sources within the Obama administration, “undercover” Congressional sources and bars around the city.

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Online Magazine Voted ‘Most Awful’ For The Second Year In A Row

Portsmouth, UK – (satireworld.com) For the second year in a row, Viral Magazine has voted a UK online publication Cafe Spike ‘the worst piece of trash since the ‘Lady Godiva Chronicles’ a similar online magazine from Canada which won the ‘most bizarre’ prize in 2010.

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Karl Rove on CIA Interrogation Report: “Who Doesn’t Enjoy a Good Rectal Feeding?”

NEW YORK CITY – (satireworld.com) This morning on Fox News Channel, RINO anal-yst Karl Rove spoke fondly of the methods reportedly used by the CIA in their treatment of terrorists in US custody. “Let’s be real,” Rove said to Chris Wallace, “Who among us doesn’t enjoy a good rectal feeding? I’m a huge fan of […]

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