Archive for 'UK News'

Has a ‘dirty’ Brit general covered up Donald Trump’s Russian origins?

London, UK – (SatireWorld.com) A highly decorated World War III general and former UK Chief of Stuff was being quizzed at a covert location this morning following a dawn raid by officers from Operation Ratsarse.

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Hillary Pleads Congenital Amnesia About Amanda Knox

Washington AC/DC – (SatireWorld.com) She’s putting back the con into congenital amnesia in what’s thought to be a little known side effect of post-partum psychosis affecting the world’s most incorrigible liars about the existence of secret offspring they wish didn’t exist.

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Black Thighs Matter As US Protest Spreads To UK

London, UK – (SatireWorld.com) There was heavy disruption close to Heathrow Airport this morning when a group of grossly corpulent activists chained themselves to the freeway in protest at police law enforcement of local gang thuggery.

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Vileness Most Horrid As Brits Recall Cold Blooded Execution Of PM May’s Gorgeous Little Pooch

Downing Street, London, The Seat of Empire – (SatireWorld.com) The silence in Whitehall is deafening tonight as diplomatic staff recoil in horror at events in 2013 when a ‘totally nekkid’ former US Secretary of Snakes Hillary Clinton fatally shot then Home Secretary Theresa May’s ten month-old pet Schnauzer Prokofiev following a crack smoking session with […]

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By Jove Its War I Say, War!

London UK- (satireworld./com) Queen Elizabeth II called in the new British Conservative Prime Minister (PM) Theresa May and asked her to convene Parliament for a declaration of war against animal rights activists. The Queen was upset that these silly upstart animal rights activists have insulted my great grandchild, three year old toddler Prince George. He […]

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‘UK Ministry For Big Oil Relations’ As New Brit PM Scorns Eco-Truther Crap

London, UK – (SatireWorld.com) “Bollocks to global warming is now official UK government policy,” a spokesperson at the newly-created Ministry for Big Oil Relations said today as new British Prime Minister Theresa May wielded the ax to the Tories’ long term flagshit shop window, the Department for the Environment and Climate Change.

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Some States are Considering FEDexit

Ft. Sumter SC – (satireworld.com) Following the BRexit referendum in the UK where the people voted for Britain to leave the European Union (EU), a meeting was held in this southern city to consider a similar proposal in the USA. The proposal was called “Federal Exit” or FEDexit for short.

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To Brexit or not to Brexit, that is the Question

London UK- satireword.com) United Kingdom (UK) citizens will vote on June 23, 2016 to decide whether or not they want to remain a part of the European Union (EU). The pros and cons of a British exit (Brexit) from the EU are being discussed vigorously in Pubs, homes, offices and other locations all over the […]

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Named: Roll Call Of World Leaders Who Have Not Schlepped With Wendi Deng

New York – (Satireworld.com) A poll by online agony aunt DragThruTheMud.con has revealed the Prime Minister of Iceland Sigmundur David Gunn-Laugh-Son sitting top of man-eater Mrs Rupert Murdoch’s refuseniks list after calling her out as ‘a man in drag’ at the Vienna Spring Ball last year.

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The Religious Food Police Have Arrived

London UK – (satireworld.com) You knew it was coming, as the United Kingdom (UK) has again succumbed to “political correctness” with respect to Muslim Immigrants. The nation that defiantly stood alone against the NAZI’s at the beginning of WWII may ban Ham Sandwiches, Bangers and Sausage Rolls from office kitchens for being “offensive!”

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Odd Islamic Custom Now Legal in Europe As Middle East Immigrants Flood Across Borders

Paris, France – (satireworld.com) French politicians recently approved a measure that would allow massive buttocks smelling ceremonies usually held on Friday afternoons in various public parts of the French capitol. According to well placed sources, the event was discouraged at first when children as young as five-years old were noticed walking among the participants. Some […]

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Syrian Dating Site ‘Ashley Martyrdom’ Hacked, Subscribers Outed

MOSUL – The popular Middle Eastern dating site, Ashley Martyrdom, has been hacked and the identities of thousands of ISIS subscribers have been revealed. The outing of many militant fighters has caused much infighting within the ranks of the terror group and sparked a fierce debate over what kind of punishments should be handed out […]

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UK Man Has Head Injury Repaired Using 3-D Printer and Super Glue

Portsmouth (UK) – (satireworld.com) Doctors at Queen Alexandra Hospital have used 3D printing technology to replace most of a man’s missing skull in an innovative procedure which included using simple Super Glue in a process that is sure to revolutionize orthopedic surgery.

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Entire British Website Embraces Islam

Portsmouth (UK) – (satireworld.com) A Muslim covert who was beaten rather severely several times for trying to impose sharia law on British websites claims to have converted numerous writers to a radical form of Islam during his time working patrons at various local pubs in the evening hours according to the Times.

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CafeSpike Voted ‘Most Awful’ Online Magazine For The Second Year In A Row

Portsmouth, UK – (satireworld.com) For the second year in a row, Viral Magazine has voted a UK online publication Cafe Spike ‘the worst piece of trash since the ‘Lady Godiva Chronicles’ a similar online magazine from Canada which won the ‘Most Bizarre’ prize in 2010.

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National Looting Festival Proposed in Baltimore Maryland

Baltimore MD- (satireworld.com) Race Hustler Al Sharpton came to “Charm City” to speak at a protest rally held at City Hall Plaza. Protestors are bent on achieving a politically motivated progressive conviction for an African American man, allegedly slain by the Baltimore Police. The rally occurred after two nights of vandalism; burning of various African […]

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Kate Middleton Vows To Have Royal Baby Live on Downton Abbey

Downton Abbey, England – (satireworld.com) A real-life royal birth is coming to the Crawley residence! Satireworld confirms that Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, will visit the set of Downton Abbey on the day she’s supposed to deliver her royal baby.

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Breaking News for February 28, 2015

Washington DC: (satireworld.com) The following political news items, rumors, gossip and innuendo has been gathered by high placed sources within the Obama administration, “undercover” Congressional sources and bars around the city.

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Online Magazine Voted ‘Most Awful’ For The Second Year In A Row

Portsmouth, UK – (satireworld.com) For the second year in a row, Viral Magazine has voted a UK online publication Cafe Spike ‘the worst piece of trash since the ‘Lady Godiva Chronicles’ a similar online magazine from Canada which won the ‘most bizarre’ prize in 2010.

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Karl Rove on CIA Interrogation Report: “Who Doesn’t Enjoy a Good Rectal Feeding?”

NEW YORK CITY – (satireworld.com) This morning on Fox News Channel, RINO anal-yst Karl Rove spoke fondly of the methods reportedly used by the CIA in their treatment of terrorists in US custody. “Let’s be real,” Rove said to Chris Wallace, “Who among us doesn’t enjoy a good rectal feeding? I’m a huge fan of […]

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Actor Mel Gibson Mulls President of Scotland Offer

Malibu, CA – (satireworld.com) To the crowd at Moonshadows bar in Malibu, Mel Gibson seemed pretty happy tonight as he adjusted his shoulder lenght hairpiece. Hitched up the waistband of his tartan kilt. While hoisting a dull silver tankard of Dark Island Ale high in his left hand…Leaving the Scottish broadsword firmly grasped in his […]

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Fake TSA Agent Gropes Woman at San Francisco Airport

San Francisco, CA – (satireworld.com) A drunk illegal alien allegedly posed as a TSA officer at San Francisco airport before pulling two women into a private screening area to give them a pat down, police said after the two women complained to authorities.

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Actress Emma Watson Admits That One Of Her Internet “Fake Nudes” Is Real

London UK – (satireworld.com) British actress Emma Watson, who played Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter series of films, admitted today that one of her “fake nudes” posted on the internet is actually her. Watson, who is twenty-four years old, is the subject of thousands of photo-shopped nude pictures on the World Wide Web.

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Prince Charles Banned From Visiting British Troops After Queen Sees Tabloid Photo

Buckingham Castle (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Royal watchers were astounded after a royal edict came down from her Royal Highness that forbids her son Prince Charles from attending any parade or inspection functions at any military bases across Britain for the next several months. This is in response to public furor aver a recent tabloid article […]

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60s Rock Group Procol Harum Denies Involvement With Nigerian Kidnappers

Wales(UK) – (satireworld.com) The vintage British rock group Procol Harum denied any connectiuon with the Islamic fundalmentalist and terror group Boco Harem, a terrorist group who has admitted to kidnapping up to 300 teenaged girls and holding them against their will.

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Post British Handgun Ban….Result? Handgun Crime Doubles!

Via WSJ (SatireWorld.com) Americans are determined that massacres such as happened in Newtown, Conn., never happen again. But how? Many advocate more effective treatment of mentally-ill people or armed protection in so-called gun-free zones. Many others demand stricter control of firearms.

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Beckham’s hazing confession: “I Was Forced Into Self-Sex Acts While at Manchester United”

Manchester (UK) – satireWorld.com David Beckham was forced to perform a humiliating sex act while looking at a photo of soccer fan Ian Youngs during a bizarre homoerotic hazing ritual, the soccer star admits in a new documentary.

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Prize Winner Announced in “Win a Shower With Your Favourite Premier League Team” Contest

Portsmouth,(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Harold Worth, former reporter for this publication, was just announced as the winner of the “Win a Shower With Your Favorite Premier League Team” contest. Worth stated in an interview that he would choose to shower with Manchester United and “I’m really looking forward to the experience. It makes me remember with […]

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Brit Press Report Reveals..Pedophile Jimmy Savile Once Worked at a Famous Brewery!

London(UK) – (satireWorld.com) The latest disclosures from the London Stock Exchange shocked stockholders of a world-famous brewery who thought their holdings were squeaky clean, but revealtions have sent stock prices tumbling when it was learned infamous pedophile and pervert Jimmy Savile not only worked there part-time as a beer keg bung-hole sealer.

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Tense Moments At Popular Spoof Site As Pedofile List Set To Be Released To Public

Portsmouth(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Thousands of pages of information gathered over the BBC’s investigation into alleged child abuse by Jimmy Savile are set to be made public on Friday, much to the worry of a popular British spoofer’s site called…The Spoof! Most annoyed is the reported offspring of the accused pedophile, a once popular writer on […]

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