Archive for 'UK News'

Actor Mel Gibson Mulls President of Scotland Offer

Malibu, CA – (satireworld.com) To the crowd at Moonshadows bar in Malibu, Mel Gibson seemed pretty happy tonight as he adjusted his shoulder length hairpiece. Hitched up the waistband of his tartan kilt. While hoisting a dull silver tankard of Dark Island Ale high in his left hand…Leaving the Scottish broadsword firmly grasped in his […]

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Fake TSA Agent Gropes Woman at San Francisco Airport

San Francisco, CA – (satireworld.com) A drunk illegal alien allegedly posed as a TSA officer at San Francisco airport before pulling two women into a private screening area to give them a pat down, police said after the two women complained to authorities.

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Actress Emma Watson Admits That One Of Her Internet “Fake Nudes” Is Real

London UK – (satireworld.com) British actress Emma Watson, who played Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter series of films, admitted today that one of her “fake nudes” posted on the internet is actually her. Watson, who is twenty-four years old, is the subject of thousands of photo-shopped nude pictures on the World Wide Web.

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Prince Charles Banned From Visiting British Troops After Queen Sees Tabloid Photo

Buckingham Castle (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Royal watchers were astounded after a royal edict came down from her Royal Highness that forbids her son Prince Charles from attending any parade or inspection functions at any military bases across Britain for the next several months. This is in response to public furor aver a recent tabloid article […]

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60s Rock Group Procol Harum Denies Involvement With Nigerian Kidnappers

Wales(UK) – (satireworld.com) The vintage British rock group Procol Harum denied any connectiuon with the Islamic fundalmentalist and terror group Boco Harem, a terrorist group who has admitted to kidnapping up to 300 teenaged girls and holding them against their will.

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Post British Handgun Ban….Result? Handgun Crime Doubles!

Via WSJ (SatireWorld.com) Americans are determined that massacres such as happened in Newtown, Conn., never happen again. But how? Many advocate more effective treatment of mentally-ill people or armed protection in so-called gun-free zones. Many others demand stricter control of firearms.

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Beckham’s hazing confession: “I Was Forced Into Self-Sex Acts While at Manchester United”

Manchester (UK) – satireWorld.com David Beckham was forced to perform a humiliating sex act while looking at a photo of soccer fan Ian Youngs during a bizarre homoerotic hazing ritual, the soccer star admits in a new documentary.

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Prize Winner Announced in “Win a Shower With Your Favourite Premier League Team” Contest

Portsmouth,(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Harold Worth, former reporter for this publication, was just announced as the winner of the “Win a Shower With Your Favorite Premier League Team” contest. Worth stated in an interview that he would choose to shower with Manchester United and “I’m really looking forward to the experience. It makes me remember with […]

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Brit Press Report Reveals..Pedophile Jimmy Savile Once Worked at a Famous Brewery!

London(UK) – (satireWorld.com) The latest disclosures from the London Stock Exchange shocked stockholders of a world-famous brewery who thought their holdings were squeaky clean, but revealtions have sent stock prices tumbling when it was learned infamous pedophile and pervert Jimmy Savile not only worked there part-time as a beer keg bung-hole sealer.

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Tense Moments At Popular Spoof Site As Pedofile List Set To Be Released To Public

Portsmouth(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Thousands of pages of information gathered over the BBC’s investigation into alleged child abuse by Jimmy Savile are set to be made public on Friday, much to the worry of a popular British spoofer’s site called…The Spoof! Most annoyed is the reported offspring of the accused pedophile, a once popular writer on […]

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Portsmouth UK Man Has Head Injury Repaired Using Super Glue and 3-D Printer

Portsmouth (UK) – (satireworld.com) Doctors at Queen Alexandra Hospital have used 3D printing technology to replace most of a man’s missing skull in an innovative procedure including Super Glue that is sure to revolutionize orthopedic surgery.

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200 Million Americans Sign Petition for Washington DC to Secede from the US and Become Part of the United Kingdom

Boston MA – (satireworld.com) A petition has been placed on the White House website calling for Washington DC to leave the USA and rejoin Great Britain. Over 200 million Americans have signed this petition. The White House will respond to any petition that receives 100,000 signatures in 30 days and this secession petition has far […]

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NATO Jet Shoots Down Prophet Mohammed In Ten Minute Dog Fight

Kabul, Afghanistan NATO forces confirmed today that a Royal Air Force F-16 shot down the Prophet Mohammed crossing over into Afghanistan air space after ignoring requests that he turn around and head back to Pakistan.

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Roma already in Britain ‘are defecating on people’s doorsteps’ says top Tory council leader

London, (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) A leading Conservative has warned that council taxpayers face rising costs from the influx of Romanian and Bulgarian immigrants set to start tomorrow – and claims that Roma are already causing trouble by begging aggressively and defecating in public.

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Beckham’s hazing confession: “I Was Forced Into Self-Sex Acts While at Manchester United”

Manchester (UK) – SatireWorld.com) David Beckham was forced to perform a humiliating sex act while looking at a photo of soccer fan Ian Youngs during a bizarre homoerotic hazing ritual, the soccer star admits in a new documentary.

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Drunken Portsmouth Man Wakes Up In Morgue

(Portsmouth (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) It was one of those nights for 58 year old Ian Young. One of those nights when “one more” seemed like a good idea – but wasn’t. He was found passed out on a bus stop bench in Portsmouth without a pulse. Concerned citizens called an ambulance and he was whisked […]

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Politically Correct Britain Bans Pointy Black Witch Hats On Halloween

London, England – (SatireWorld.com) In the realm of political correctness, surely modern Britain has resurrected the Knights of the Roundtable in order to give everyone a commanding seat in the name of diversity. Even at the risk of sounding foolish and maybe paranoid too. Diversity and those dreaded ‘Equality Experts’ have a new target…Black Witches […]

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1 in 2000 Brits Carry Human Mad Cow Disease Cells

Portsmouth (UK)- (SatireWorld.com) One in 2,000 people in the United Kingdom carry a variant of a protein associated with Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease, the human version of mad cow disease, a new study finds.

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Suicide Breast Implant Bomber Alert In London

London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) London’s Buckingham Palace is on high terror alert amid fears women suicide bombers are ready to strike with ­explosives concealed in breast implants.

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Scientists Grow New Teeth From Urine

Guangzhou, China – (SatireWorld.com) Scientists have grown rudimentary teeth out of the most unlikely of sources, human urine. The results, published in Cell Regeneration Journal, showed that urine could be used as a source of stem cells that in turn could be grown into tiny tooth-like structures.

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Manchester United Adopts the Late Jimmy Savile As Official Team Mascot

Manchester (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) The Manchester United British football team voted to adopt the late Jimmy Savile as the official team mascot, replacing the often vague and misunderstood Red Devils symbol.

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Manchester Man Arrested For Lewd Activities Has Record As Registered Sex Offender

Manchester(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Police in Manchester, England have learned that the man they arrested for having sex in public with pool toys has a longer criminal record than they thought. Originally, they only did a background check of his record in the United Kingdom. Now, however, they have learned that Mark Lowtun was previously arrested […]

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Manchester Man Arrested For Having Sex With Pool Float

Manchester(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) For the second time in two years, a Manchester man has been charged with public indecency for allegedly “having sexual relations with a rubber pool float,” a magistrate’s report claims it happened on July 10th.

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British RAF Goes On A Beer Run…Own Troops Get Bombed!

London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) In the lighter moments of WWII, the Spitfire fighter aircraft was used in an unorthodox role: bringing beer kegs to the fighting men in Normandy.

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New Keats Poem Discovered

London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Archaeologists digging in London have discovered a book of manuscripts purported to have been written by the late English poet John Keats. The work was found between the walls in a house that was not previously known to have been inhabited by Keats. Handwriting analysis experts at Scotland Yard verified that […]

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Now Brits Afraid To Fly Own Flag!

Radstock (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) A local council in the U.K. just voted down the nation’s flag of St. George allegedly due to the fact that its link to the Crusades might offend the town’s 16 Muslim residents.

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Scrotum surgery leaves Portsmouth man 132 pounds lighter

Portsmouth (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Ian Young the 54-year-old Portsmouth man whose emotional and physical struggles with a 132-pound scrotum drew international attention, has undergone successful surgery to remove the mass, according to the Nairobi surgeon who led the team that performed the nearly 13-hour procedure. Dr. Imbu Imbutu, who heads the Center for Reconstructive Urology […]

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‘Iron Lady’ Margaret Thatcher’s Best Quotes….

London (UK) – Margaret Thatcher, the “Iron Lady”, was a towering figure in British 20th century politics, a grocer’s daughter with a steely resolve who was loved and loathed in equal measure as she crushed the unions and privatised vast swathes of industry. She died on Monday, aged 87, after suffering a stroke. During her […]

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“I Got Mad Cow Disease From Eating Gummi Worms”

The following Editorial is an apology from the editor and owner of England’s on line humour magazine: The Spoof.

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Unexplained Deaths, Missing Ministers Leads to EU Demise: Brits Celebrate!

The UK breathed a sigh of relief today, after over 100 EU appointed ministers were found dead in their baths, hit by cabs, or from mysterious illnesses marked by bodies glowing in the dark.

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