Archive for 'UK News'
Several national and international bicycling organizations are in process of stripping Lance Armstrong of all of his wins and medals (including seven wins in the Tour de France). Armstrong is accused of using performance enhancing drugs and of blood doping. Rolling Stone Keith Richards has issued a statement in support of Lance Armstrong. “Even though [...]Full Story
London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) The London Olympics, which are currently running a deficit of hundreds of millions of Euros, may soon be profitable. The London Olympic Organizing Committee has announced plans for a special, pay per view event to be held one week before the Opening Ceremonies. That night, Pippa “the ass” Middleton will mud wrestle [...]Full Story
London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Quidditch will not be added to the 2012 Summer Olympic Games as either a regular, medal or as an exhibition sport. Despite millions of requests by Harry Potter fans, the International Olympic Committee has decided that the sport created by J.K. Rowling will not be played in London this summer as [...]Full Story
Port Dover, Canada – (SatireWorld.com) The Canadian government admitted today that they are stumped over how to classify an influx of EU citizens flooding the country over fears of unrest, anarchy, crimes against nature, sodomy, football (soccer) riots, high taxes, not to mention political correctness and ‘uman rights!Full Story
London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Slightly over 5000 British Moslems, most of whom were born in the Middle East, have announced plans to relocate to the Falkland Islands. As the current population of the Falklands is less than 3200, this will give the area a new look and a new majority culture.Full Story
Las Cruces,NM – (SatireWorld.com) Late last week, the Internet Movie DataBase (IMDb) stopped placing their daily poll and daily quote/trivia on their homepage on the web. Instead, they told readers that these items could now be found on their Facebook page. Loss of the daily poll, which generally brought about 20,000 voters (world wide) to [...]Full Story
Home Secretary Theresa May Calls for Press Conference Yesterday Over Pensioner Accused of Killing 4′ Rat!
London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) A disheveled, dazed and confused Theresa May, the 56 year old MP from Maidenhead (NPI), and the besieged Home Secretary today called for a 3 PM news conference yesterday, to discuss ‘yuman rights as they apply to rats entering the country illegally , posing threats to the populace and being exterminated [...]Full Story
Paris, France – (SatireWorld.com) Diminutive French President Nicholas Sarkozy, behind in the polls and threatened with being the first one term president since 1981, called on the Council of Ministers in Brussels to enforce their rules against ‘Dwarf Tossing’ as he struggles to win re election.Full Story
London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Mayoral candidate Ken Livingstone has promised to turn London into a “beacon” for the words of the Prophet Mohammed in a sermon at one of the capital’s most controversial mosques. Later he was quoted as saying, “I promise to rename our fair city London-stan!”Full Story
Dublin, Ireland – (SatireWorld.com) Nike has put its foot squarely in its mouth and just in time for St. Patrick’s Day. Today, Nike released a seasonal sneaker that bears the same name as a British paramilitary force notorious for brutal attacks on civilians in Ireland….The Black and Tan.Full Story
London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) An 18-year-old Buckingham Palace Guard was fired from his post days ahead of the royal wedding last May after he allegedly slammed Kate Middleton in a Facebook post.Full Story
Vorski,Estonia – (SatireWorld.com) Estonian officials are remaining ‘mum’ concerning the ‘accidental death’ of a posh British Baron and his wife in a secluded retreat which they blame on “a lack of oxygen leading to death.”Full Story
After Birth Abortion: Why Society Should Have to Right to Cull Furture Politicians for the Public Good!
London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) A storm of controversy has arisen in UK Academic Circles after a noted philosopher and medical ethicist has published a paper positing that society would be better off if future politicians were terminated shortly AFTER birth in order to prevent a financial burden to that society from a state already too [...]Full Story
Bristol(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) A near disaster was narrowly averted, it has been reported, after a Bristol man caused the shut down of the Bristol airport and the A38 whilst doing ‘a bit of spring cleaning!”Full Story
London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Pancake day, originally kicked off in 1445 when a woman rushed to answer church bells carrying her smoking hot frying pan while flipping her unfinished pancake, had unfortunate overtones yesterday as a horde of students were held on suspicion of violating human rights and multiculturalism laws!Full Story
Portsmouth(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) In a case that has shocked even harden British investigators, a Portsmouth man is in jail for allegedly cooking and eating neighborhood cats.Full Story
Buckingham Palace – (SatireWorld.com) Queen Elizabeth was entered into the Guinness Book of Records today after occupying the royal throne in Buckingham Palace for 60 years, claiming she’d die onnit!Full Story
London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) “All good things come to people who wait,” said Fiona Wilcox, the Crown’s Coroner for Westminster, as she announced she would be reopening the investigation of the ‘mysterious’ death of MI6 cryptologist Gareth Williams, 31, found trussed up like a bagged goose just two short years ago.Full Story