Archive for 'US News'
Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, My sister has done gone California tree hugging Vegan weirdo on us. Last week, she tried to say that microwaves ruin the DNA of water. I didn’t think water had any DNA unless there was critters in it.
Full StoryObama Names Barney Frank as “Rear Admiral” to Head New All Gay Fund Raising Fleet Devoted to “Cruising!”
Boston Harbor, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Retiring congressman Barney Frank, (D,Gay, MA) was honored in the White House today as President Obama, the First Gay President, named Frank to grab the joy stick of the DNC signature new gay cruiser, “Bottoms Up.”
Full StoryCher Mad Chaz/Chastity Left The Seat Up When He/She Came To Visit For Mother’s Day
Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Singer, actress, and Hollywood personality Cher is upset that her daughter/son Chasity/Chaz Bono left the seat up whe he/she came to visit Mom on Mother’s Day. The entertainer admits to sitting down “farther than I anticipated” and getting her bottom more than a little soaked.
Full StoryTravolta on Tom Cruise: He’s a Nice Boy, But He Just Rubs Me the Wrong Way!
Hollywood,CA – (SatireWorld.com) Turmoil in the dark halls and secret closets of Scientology today after it was disclosed that two of the cult’s biggest stars , “Tiny Tom” Cruise, and “Big John” Travolta experienced a great deal of “friction” in their long running relationship with the mysterious group and each other.
Full StoryElizabeth Warren Assails Scotland Yard over “Red List” replacing “Black List” for “Sensitivity Reasons!”
Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Embattled Senate Candidate Elizabeth Warren, still digging her own grave concerning her alleged Native American roots, doubled down over Scotland Yards new ‘sensitivity policy’ requiring that the terms ‘Black List” and ‘White List’ be struck down in order to promote racial harmony.
Full StoryDisplaying ‘Truck Nuts’ in South Carolina Leads To An Arrest
From Fox-News – (SatireWorld.com) SPARTANBURG, S.C. — A South Carolina man was released from jail Monday after being held overnight for an arrest that was sparked by the fake testicles displayed on the back of his truck.
Full StoryAfter Reading Facebook Valued At $95 Billion, Internet Inventor Al Gore Sues For Unpaid Royalties
Oakridge, TN – (SatireWorld.com) Former United States Vice President and Internet inventor Al Gore filed a lawsuit today in Federal Court against Facebook. Gore claims that the social networking giant, which was recently valued at $95 billion, has never paid him the 2% royalty that he should be receiving.
Full StoryStop Me if You’ve Heard This One: a Dwarf, A Commie and a Neo Nazi Run for President in France….What Could Go Wrong?
Paris, France – (SatireWorld.com) Following France’s Presidential election one thing is most certainly clear; the European Union is doomed, and what’s left of the bankrupt fragile coalition will most certainly go down in flames as riots erupt across the continent this summer.
Full StoryElizabeth Warren: My Tight Cheeks Not from Lyposuction!
Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Taking a page from General Custer, Mass-hole Senate wannabe Elizabeth Warren tried to circle her wagons after she was outed over her claims she was a minority Indian Maiden which afforded her special affirmative action perks during her rise to the 1%.
Full StoryBin Laden Tapes: ‘For Allah’s Sake Don’t Hurt Joe Biden!’
Islamisbad, Pakistan – (SatireWorld.com) Buried deep within a treasure trove of intelligence information gathered from the Bin Laden compound after last year’s SEAL Team 6 raid, an enticing tidbit shows the contempt Osama Bin Laden had for the American people.
Full StoryChicago NATO Meet: Evac Plans Ready, No Fly Zone, Martial Law, Secret Service Vetts Hookers!
Obamaland, IL – (SatireWorld.com) Downtown Chicago, including Lake Shore Drive, is preparing to defend itself against ugly demonstrations planned by the Taliban and OWS activists during the May 1-21 Obama/NATO Fundraiser hosted by Hussein Obama at the $1m a plate dinner to be held in the Empire Room of the famous Drake Hotel.
Full StoryNew Election Ad of Obama Posing with OBL Body Parts Goes Viral!
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The DNC launched a new, and some say controversial, election ad showing a battle fatigued clothed Barry Obama posing with the dismembered body parts of Osama Bin Laden.
Full StoryLindsay Lohan Gets Access to Medicine Cabinet in Super Secret Presidential War Room!
The White House – (SatireWorld.com) In keeping with President Obama’s pledge for “Transparency”, it was announced that Lindsay Lohan was the latest Hollywood ‘celebrity’ to get access to the formerly super secret “Situation Room” at the White House.
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom. The doctor told me that a hot cup of coffee in the morning could help keep my bowel movements regular. All I know is that it burns my ass when I try to put it up there with a turkey baster.
Full StoryThe World’s Most Interesting Man Claims He’s Already ‘Popped’ Kate Upton
Cape Town, SA – (SAtireWorld.com) The sailing vessel Conquest no sooner tied up to the dock in Capetown, when our SatireWorld reporter walked aboard for an interview with Fernando Monte Verde…The World's Most Interesting Man!
Full StoryEnglish Courts Rule That Despite Sharia Law, Sheep Will Not Be Permitted To Compete In Miss London Competition
London (UK)-(SatireWorld.com) A court decision in London has caused massive unrest among the city’s growing Moslem/Muslim population. Several native Arabs marched on the streets in their neighborhoods protesting what they say is a racial and religious slur by English courts. At issue is the ability of sheep to be entered into the Miss London competition [...]
Full StoryNew National Holiday, Star Wars Day, Announced for May 4th By Congress
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The United States Congress has voted that May 4th (which falls on a Friday this year) will become a new National Holiday. This day, to be called Star Wars Day, will be observed as other holidays are, with the closing of banks, schools, post offices, and non-essential Government offices. Other non-essential [...]
Full StoryA. Weiner Rears His Ugly Head; Sticks up for Sandra Fluke, DWS and Hilary Rosen: Tweets Pix of Penis!
Brooklyn, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Anthony (A.) Weiner, former congressman from New York, had been apparently keeping it in his pants since his meteoric downfall over publishing pictures of his reproductive organ all over Facebook and Twitter space months ago. At least until recently when controversy caused him to rear his ugly head.
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