Archive for 'US News'

Mickey Mouse to Run for President in 2020

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Former President Barack Obama met secretly with at least nine prospective 2020 Democratic presidential candidates, including Socialist Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT), Senator Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren (D-MA), former VP Joe “Shotgun” Biden (D-DE) and former Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick. At least 15 big donor Hollywood stars were turned away!

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Poor John McCain

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) The Arizona senator, who’s battling terminal brain cancer, thinks someone suddenly died and made him the leader of the free world. Proving that he’s determined to be a prickly thorn in President Trump’s side even while waiting to get the sheets changed on his deathbed, McCain once again tried to undermine […]

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Hillary Receives the Prestigious EMF Award From the NAACP

Chappaqua NY- (satireworld.com) Former Democratic President Bill Clinton and failed 2016 Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton’s home is in the small Westchester County town of Chappaqua NY. The town, not far from New York City (NYC), demographically has 1400 residents of which 2.5% are Hispanic and there are zero African Americans.

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You Can Keep Your Plastic Straws If You Like!

Polar Bear Alaska: MacDougal’s Fast Fish Cafe shareholders have rejected a proposal asking the firm to report on its use of plastic straws. This is the latest part of a campaign backed by the self-appointed activist group Environmental Wackos of California (EWOC) pressuring the firm to ban certain food packaging items. The idea won less […]

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Elton John Upset That He Wan’t Biggest Queen At Royal Wedding

Westminster Kennel Show….opps Royal Wedding! (SatireWorld.com) British singer Elton John was upset at the Royal Wedding to see that he wasn’t “the biggest Queen” in attendance. He felt that his presence was upstaged by that of Queen Elizabeth II at the marriage of her grandson, Prince Harry, to Meagan the American Commoner….AKA The Hollywood Princess.

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Police Mistake Maxine Waters Supporters For Zombies

Cairo, IL – (satireworld.com) Cairo police were tagged as racist and quick-on-the-gun after a hastily formed riot squad descended upon a gathering of Congresswoman Maxine Waters supporters assembling in a local park.

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USPS- Barack Obama Era Commemorative Stamp Now On Sale

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) The United States Postal Service announced today that the long overdue commemorative stamp issue celebrating the two-term presidency of Barack Obama are now on sale at most USPS locations.

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Police Report an Increase in “Mooned” CCTV Cameras

New York NY – (satireworld.com) Various transportation policing agencies use CCTV and “Facial Recognition SW” technology to monitor people’s faces at New York City (NYC) airports, railroad/commuter terminals and bus stations. The cameras supporting a facial recognition capability are located near ticket counters, boarding and luggage pick up areas, and schedule boards at transportation centers.

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Arrest Made In Chevrolet Sex Case

Morgan, Kansas (satireworld.com) A Kansas man attempting to insert his penis into the tailpipe of a car had to be subdued with a stun gun after refusing to listen to police.

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Democrat Pelosi Supports the NRA

Washington DC: (satireworld.com) House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) tweeted to her constituents that she now wholeheartedly supports the NRA! ‘After a lot of soul searching and discussions with my US House leadership team of 1st “Horse Holder” Representative Steny Hoyer (D-MD) and 2nd “Horse Holder” Representative James Clyburn (D-SC) we have concluded it is […]

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Golden Sewers Attorney Pleads The Filth

NYC, NY – (SatireWorld.com): A New York attorney suspected of laundering dirty money who says he ‘never stepped a foot inside the bouncing Check Republic’ will play schtum before the law courts his lawyer said today.

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Satire World Voted World’s Number One Satire Site

New York,NY – (satireworld.com) The staff and writers over at Satire World are living it up with the announcement of substantial bonuses and a hard sought after international award. According staff writer Oleg Penkovsky, “yes it has been a whirlwind week of surprises from management and very appreciated accolades from satire writing peers from around […]

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Steven Donziger Mooted For Trump Legal Team

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com): The New York City lawyer who famously won a $19bn Ecuadorian pollution settlement against US super major Chevron is being head hunted as legal co counsel for President Donald Trump.

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The Taste of Hillary

Chappaqua NY – (satireworld.com) Former Democratic Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton left the USA for a 10 country, publisher paid trip to plug her new book “What Happened.” The book is about her 2016 presidential aspirations (she lost to Republican Donald Trump) is not doing well domestically. So, Hillary opted to quietly take her book tour […]

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Pelosi Brain Freeze Episodes Worsen

Modesto, CA – (satireworld.com) While addressing reporters on Thursday, Rep/. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) lost her breath during several short sentences, suffered more brain freezes and could be seen staring blankly at reporters, while also frequently repeating words.

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Hillary Blames Lingering Yeast Infection for 2016 Presidential Election Loss

Washington,DC – (satireworld.com) The Hillary Clinton 2016 election loss blame game took a new turn this past week as yet another excuse was hurled out onto the airwaves. First, we had insults directed toward rural voters. Then it was the unproven Russian collusion….Throw in the Republican vast right-wing conspiracy….Or some unfriendly media coverage….Then the FBI! […]

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Three Geopolitical Events Occurred this Week

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) Republican President Donald Trump had an interesting week in the Nation’s Capital including; consideration of new import tariffs, gun control proposals, DACA legislation proposals, Russian President Putin’s new nuclear missile, Maxine Waters calling President Trump a racist and North Korea’s leader Kim Jong Un inviting President Trump to come to the table […]

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DNC Requests Proposals for a Monument to Honor Obama’s Presidency

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The Democratic National Committee (DNC) chaired by Tom Perez has sent out a Request for Proposals (RFP) to all 50 states to bid on constructing a suitable monument to the 44th POTUS, Barack Obama. The selected monument must be “shovel ready!” This measure was necessary because the federal government has refused […]

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Sources of Greenhouse Gases Identified

Hawthorne CA – (satireworld.com) Space X CEO Elon Musk announced that the Falcon Heavy rocket was launched successfully on February 8, 2018 from the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. This giant vehicle boosted a payload of his cherry-red Tesla sports car, although it could easily boost up to 24 metric tons into an Earth orbit.

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Arizona Lawmaker Proposes Holiday Just For White Males

Phoenix, AZ – (SatireWorld.com) An Arizona legislator raised eyebrows this week with a suggestion that the state should name a holiday just for US Caucasian males. State Rep. Cecil Ash’s remarks began in jest while he was speaking on the Arizona House floor Monday, but when asked to clarify them later, Ash doubled down and […]

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Dangerous Felons Escape from San Quentin State Prison

San Quentin CA – (satireworld.com) In a large jail break, dangerous felons have escaped from San Quentin State Prison for men, following a week of continuous rioting. A series of new California laws passed by the California Legislature and signed by Democratic Governor Jerry Brown (D-CA) that went into effect on January 1, 2018 is […]

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Punxsutawney Phil to Retire Before Groundhog Day 2018

Punxsutawney PA: Punxsutawney Phil is a fabled groundhog living in Punxsutawney PA. On February 2 (USA Groundhog Day) each year, the town of Punxsutawney celebrates this legendary groundhog with a festive atmosphere of music, food and drink. During the traditional ceremony, which begins before the winter sunrise, Phil emerges from his temporary home on Gobbler’s […]

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Congressman Trey Gowdy (R-SC) On Transgender Bans In The Military

Trey Gowdy just said a few things about the military in response to a stupid question from a CNN reporter about the ban of transgenders. He nails it:

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Last Four Men NOT ACCUSED Of Sexual Harassment In US Come Forward

Holiday, New York -(satireworld.com) The last four men not accused of sexual harassment in the US held a joint press conference for the eager media today in Holiday, NY a sleepy Catskill Mountain resort town of 75 winter-time residents. During the time of flying accusations and hashtag #MeToo accusers, a search of arrest and complaint […]

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FDA Approves Newly Developed Medication for Politicians

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has given conditional approval to a newly developed medication called “SHUTHOLE” to help politicians cure their Foot in Mouth Disease, Diarrhea of the Mouth, Fake News Generation and Habitual Lying. The FDA also has called for follow up field testing using control groups of […]

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Trump Stumped In Failed US London Embassy Flip

London – (SatireWorld.com) A pair of conjoined parasitic twins very nearly sold America’s London embassy building to Donald Trump for One Measly Dollar according to Royal Courts of Justice papers filed today.

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Senator Bernie Sanders Infrastructure Plan Uncovered

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Socialist Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT) Infrastructure Plan has been leaked to the Main Stream Media. An astute freelance reporter named Phil broke the story prior to the legislation being introduced into the US House and senate.

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Judge Denies Petition to Free Zoo Elephants

Torrington CT – (satireworld.com) A Judge has denied a petition seeking to free three elephants from the Commerford Zoo located in Goshen, rejecting the argument that the animals should be granted legal person-hood.

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Al Gore: ‘Bitter cold’ is exactly what we should expect from the climate crisis

Dallas,TX- (satireworld.com) Gore’s Oscar-winning documentary An Inconvenient Truth did not warn of record cold and increasing snowfalls as a consequence of man-made global warming. And as recently as 2009, Gore was hyping the lack of snow as evidence for man-made global warming. Maybe Al Gore doesn’t know a thing about climate change after all and […]

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Celebrating 10 Years with SatireWorld – Collectors Photo Edition

SatireWorld.com – For ten years SatireWorld has amused fans and casual readers with thought provoking and relevant news items from around the globe. Our staff of talented writers fought off criticism and threats to bring you the news we all love to see…Even if it’s made up B-S that rivals similar ‘breaking stories’ found on […]

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