Archive for 'US News'

Pentagon Recalls Past Korean Combat Veterans To Counter North Korean Threats

The Pentagon – (SatireWorld.com) The manpower pinch coupled with the effects of the sequester is straining Army fitness and readiness standards. Two major conflicts in the last 18 years, and a renewed North Korean threat, has forced the Pentagon’s top brass to re-think ways to fill the ranks of front line defenses with highly trained […]

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Aide’s Computer Adds To Debbie Wasserman-Schultz’s Tijuana Donkey Porno Fear

Miami,Fl – (satireworld.com) Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz never actually saw the computer she fought to block the Capitol Police from examining as evidence in a criminal case against her IT aide by saying it was hers, she told SatireWorld reporters Thursday.

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Putin, Oreos, Capitalism and the West

Moscow – (satireworld.com) Vladimir Putin President of the Russian Federation seems to have a hard-on for the west, particularly the USA, when it comes to establishing better international relations. Republican President Donald Trump is trying to ease tensions in his first six months in office. However, former Democratic President Obama left the new administration several […]

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Virtual Reality eSEX the Latest in Internet Technology

Silicon Valley CA – (satireworld.com) Playboy Magazine has announced that the monthly publication (with the titillating centerfolds and intellectual articles) is bringing back pictures of nude women after a short hiatus. Once again marketing managers have proven the old adage “Sex Sells” is still true.

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Joe Arpaio Is Trump Pick For Mexico Wall Warden

Fountain Hills, Arizona -(satireworld.com) The ex-Maricopa County sheriff is reported to be first in line for the $500,000 per annum position of keeping Mexicans out of the USA. At 85-years old the Fountain Hills maverick veteran lawman is also bookies’ 5/4 favorite for the controversial Trump Mexican border wall enforcement appointment due to a slew […]

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Antarctica Ice Berg Breakoff Spells Climate Change For California

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) A massive iceberg which broke off from Antarctica’s Larsen Shelf today could spell disaster for Los Angeles if it floats too far north from the Antarctic continent.

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Bader Ginsburg Banana Shot Scuppers Pool Sharks’ Hate Mail Scam

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) Supreme Court Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has ‘sure slipped a mean one’ right past the Trump Camp’s nose in a 9-Ball recluse refusal, the Associated Mess is reporting tonight.

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Free College Education and Jobs is the Latest Liberal Mantra

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) After their routing in the 2016 Presidential, Congressional and State wide elections progressive Democrats needed to find other ways to spend taxpayers hard earned dollars.

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Noted Satire Writer Cheats Death

Mashpee Neck, MA – (satireworld.com) Captain America survives near death experience as Hyannis high speed ferry jumps Hyannis breakwater in attempt to shorten commuter experience

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Washington DC Metro to be Renamed Washington DC Obama

Washington DC- (SatireWorld.com) The Washington DC City Council has proposed renaming the Washington DC METRO the Washington DC OBAMA after the 44th president, who has derailed democracy in the USA for eight years. Currently the METRO suffers from mismanagement; plagued by breakdowns, failures, accidents and fires; loss of ridership; and fare increases. Long term maintenance […]

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Black Lives Matter Calls for Boycott of White Avatars

Fantasy Land – (SatireWorld.com) D’Aryll Scott-Jones, HMFIC of Black Lives Matter, called for immediate boycotts yesterday of all websites “that allow white supremacists to hide behind blank, lily-white avatars in their comments sections.” Mr. Scott-Jones made his remarks to National Public Radio’s Terri Gross.

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Michelle Obama’s “‘Twas No Hope Before Christmas”

WASHINGTON – (SatireWorld.com) First Lady Michelle Obama is feeling hopeless these days. Unless her husband is the president, Michelle believes there is no hope for America. She was proud of this once great nation while it footed the bill for her world travels. But now that her home girl Hillary has been sent packing, suddenly, […]

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Fisher-Price Toy Controversy Brings Out Internet Paul Reveres

WHEREVER – (SatireWorld.com) Paul Revere is best known as a patriot in colonial days who alerted militia to approaching British forces before the battles of Lexington and Concord. An internet Paul Revere is someone who feels compelled to alert others on social media that something is wrong with a news story. They are similar to […]

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Crappy Crony Capitalism Exposed

Washington DC- (SatireWorld.com) While Crooked Hillary Clinton was Secretary of State (SOS) and also illegally involved in the Bill and Hillary Foundation money laundering scheme she was approached by Jonas Crappy. Mr. Crappy had an idea for a completely automatic, robotic commode, but needed funding. Hillary sent an urgent email, via her illegal home server, […]

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Declining Days of Obama’s Policies, Left on the National Mall

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Liberal Democrats are in denial, pretending that Crooked lying Hillary lost because of the Electoral College, Russian hacking of voting machines and then retaining out of touch Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) as House Minority Leader. However, Americans are celebrating Republican victories at all levels of government (local, state, federal) by rejoicing […]

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Fidel Castro Ashes Buried In Cigar Box In El Cheapo Cuban Funeral

Santiago de Cuba (Cuba) – (SatireWorld.com) Fidel Castro’s ashes were entombed in a massive stone next to national heroes on Sunday, as Cuba opens a new era without the communist leader who ruled for decades and killed or jailed dissenters in order to stay in power. In what’s being called the cheapest funeral for a […]

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Baltimore City to Ban Fracking

Baltimore MD – (SatireWorld.com) The newly elected Democratic Baltimore Mayor and the City Council are considering a resolution banning Fracking (Hydraulic Fracturing) for natural gas extraction within the city limits. The aim of the new law is to improve the climate, decrease global warming and to improve the health of the city’s residents.

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President-Elect Donald Trump’s Updated Political Lexicon

New York NY – (SatireWorld.com) Republican President-Elect Donald Trump has commissioned a new dictionary for words from A to Z entitled Trumpapedia that removes the liberal/progressive nonsensical spin experienced during the Obama years. Here is a partial list:

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Chelsea Clinton Wants to be a Politician like Her Mother Hillary

Chappaqua NY – (SatireWorld.com) Democrat Hillary Clinton lost to Republican Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election. (Republican’s also maintained their majority control of the US Congress.) Following her tantrum, hissy-fit and meltdown Hillary concluded that another corrupt, lying Clinton must continue the line of corruption that Bill and Hillary are famous for.

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Politically Correct Titles and More Politically Correct Titles

New York NY – (SatireWorld.com) Mrs. Philbert suggested we get away from Pizmo Beach Pennsyltucky for a few days, now that the 2016 elections were over and only a few “lame ducks” remain in Washington DC. We decided to motor to “The Big Apple” New York City (NYC). Our first mistake was in using Interstate […]

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The Secrets To Avoiding Your Turn At Jury Duty

County Courthouse – (SatireWorld.com) Most people hate receiving a jury summons. This generally requires at least one day off work, downtown traffic and parking, long lines, hurry up and wait, inadequate bathroom facilities, no convenient lunch, losing coins in vending machines, rude and/or overworked employees (city, county, state, or Federal), sitting on un-padded seats in […]

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Millennial Discovers Being An Adult Is Really Hard!

Denver, CO – (SatireWorld.com) Flynn Combs is 25. He’s ‘between jobs’ and struggling to pay off his $250,000 college education loan. He also lives in his parent’s basement and drives a ‘classic car’ notably a 2002 Chevy Cavalier with 175K miles on it. By the way….Flynn Combs is pretty pissed!

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GOP to Democrats…..’Let’s Re-Ignite That Love We Once Had For Each Other’

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The GOP still basking in the shellacking it handed the gobsmacked DNC in the presidential elections of 2016. Politely offered an olive branch of sorts looking to re-ignite the friendly but competitive spirit of bygone days in the political arena.

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Spooky How Trump Hires Cousin Joe To Raise Deportation Posse

Maricopa County, Arizona – (SatireWorld.com) “First thing we gonna do is deport Barack Obama back home to Jamaica,” Maricopa County’s recently deposed sheriff Joe Arpaio said today amid news of his latest appointment as President Trump’s Homeland Insecurity enforcer. As foretold by some guy called Nostradamus in the year 1289.

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Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream Supports BLM

Burlington VT – (SatireWorld.com) Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream Company has joined the Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement. The company posted a statement on its website signed by the founders that identify their positions on issues such as racism, civil rights/equal justice, police shootings of black Americans and that the lives of those people serving […]

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Boy 16 Builds Anatomically Correct Girl From Legos

Seattle, WA – (SatireWorld.com) Mavis Gillard almost fainted when she opened her son’s bedroom door and caught David Jr. with what appeared to be a naked girl in bed. A first she wanted to scream bloody murder, but on taking a closer look she knew something was more than a little odd. The Blond-haired vixen […]

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In the Event That I Should Lose to……………….

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) Democrat Hillary Clinton and Republican Donald Trump have had their respective political camp’s aides drafting both acceptance and concession speeches for the evening of the November 8, 2016 Presidential Elections. Both candidates reluctantly prepared concession speeches and the drafts have been obtained by WikiLeaks!

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Another March on Washington DC Planned

Washington DC- (SatireWorld.com) At the White House breakfast table President Obama was reading the Sports Section of USA Today (golf news), while First Dog Bo got the International News section to use as his indoor potty patch.

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Huma’s Weiner Brings Down Hillary In Stunning October Surprise

Westchester County, NY – (SatireWorld.com) The FBI is probing new emails related to Hillary Clinton, FBI Director James Comey said in a Friday letter to lawmakers upon which many on Capitol Hill considered a re-opening of the Hillary server investigation that was closed in early July by Director Comey. That action was considered partisan politics […]

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Administration of UC Berkeley Agrees to More Student Safe Spaces

Berkeley CA – (SatireWorld.com) Students at the University of California, Berkeley (UC Berkeley) held a protest demanding that the University create both “safe spaces” for transgender students and “spaces of color” for non-white students on campus. A wall of protesters also prevented white students from studying in the Student Union and stopped traffic at the […]

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