Archive for 'US News'

The Latest Common Core Education Mandate

Washington DC: (satireworld.com) WikiLeaks has released a copy of a draft proposal by the Department of Education to improve the essay writing skills of graduating high school seniors (in their 18th year). The new regulation would apply to all 50 states via a series of practice exams. In order to graduate a similar final exam […]

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Hillary Returns Compliment…Gets Nude For Madonna

New York City – (satireworld.com) Madonna joined her colleague Katy Perry in getting naked to encourage Americans to head to the polls on Election Day. In photos posted to her Twitter account Wednesday morning, the 58-year-old “Vogue” artist shed her clothes to endorse Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton. Earlier this week singer Katy Perry shed her […]

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Creepy Clowns Strike Fear in Blountstown Florida

Blountstown, Florida – (satireworld.com) Residents and authorities in in the sleepy panhandle town of Blountstown, Florida, have been on high alert since a resident reported seeing two “creepy clowns” staring at her from across a road as she walked her dog. Calhoun County Sheriff deputies are concerned after it emerged that a Facebook viral video, […]

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White House To Provide Mental Health Counseling For Fans After Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie Split

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com) The planet is shocked — SHOCKED! — at the news Tuesday that Angelina Jolie filed for divorce from Brad Pitt…now comes the usual wave of government help for those snowflakes that require support and safe places in order to recover from the shock and resulting grief.

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World War II Japanese Army Unit Finally Surrenders in Philippine’s Jungle Hideout

Manila, Philippines – (SatireWorld.com) Back pay mathematics is going to be a real tough chore for the Japanese Army paymaster to estimate in the next few months. Especially paychecks for the 134 men who’ve been on continuous combat duty in the mountains of the Philippines since 1944.

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The DNC Claims Hillary Is Still A Virgin

Chapel Hill, NC – (satireworld.com) Walk on water? Converse with the Almighty? Bend steel in her bare hands? None of the above when it comes to the latest news from the ever-truthful Democratic National Committee! According to DNC staffers Hillary Clinton is now a virgin! How and why is beyond comprehension but the latest memos […]

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Doctors Release Hillary’s Health Report

York, Pennsylvania – (satireworld.com) Doctors who’ve attended to the fainting prone Hillary Clinton have issued a complete health report describing in detail the ex-secretary of state’s overall health, and in doing so, painted a rosy picture.

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Donald J.Trump Promises To Give Hillary ‘First Ride/Last Ride’ On New Air Force One Plane

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Presidential candidate Donald Trump promised supporters in rural Pennsylvania that when he takes possession of the new Boeing 747 known as ‘Air Force One,’ he’ll give Hillary Clinton her first and last ride back to New York City.

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HUD Announces Further Plans to Encourage Diversity in American Neighborhoods

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The US Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) is implementing the “Affirmatively Furthering Fair Housing (AFFH) rules,” a set of rules that allows changing local zoning laws. HUD’s bureaucrats in Washington DC will statistically determine when a given wealthy (white) residential area in the USA does not have an adequate […]

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The Real Reason for Obama’s War on Coal

Charleston, WV – (satireworld.com) At a news conference held in this once thriving coal producing state, the founder of WikiLeaks announced that in the coming weeks thousands of Hillary Clinton’s destroyed or non-existent emails will be released. The latest batch of emails concern Hillary Clinton’s failed polygraph tests (lie detector) relative to her obtaining a […]

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‘Was She Intoxicated?’ Hillary Stumbles and Loses Shoe at 9-11 Memorial

New York City, NY (satireworld.com) Hillary Clinton had a “stumble episode” that required her to leave a 9/11 commemoration ceremony early, a law enforcement source who witnessed the event told SatireWorld.com.

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Report of Clown Sightings Put Washington DC Residents on Edge

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Reports of scary Democratic Party Clowns lurking in the shadows and trying to lure innocent voters into the murkiness of Washington, DC political promises and lies have patriotic families in a frenzy, Democratic candidates nervous, and Twitter users all jittery.

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NASA Releases Unexplained Occurrences in Space Report

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) recently released a report summarizing unexplained experiences of US Astronauts, in the last 10 years, while on space missions. Many of the strange occurrences happened during extra-vehicular activities (space walks) and went unreported in the mainstream media, for example.

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Smithsonian Institution Department of US Historical Antiquities Contacts Former President Clinton

To: WJ Clinton@H&B Foundation.org From: Mr. Harry Dickson Esq. Subject: Re Missing Historical Artifacts Date: September 7, 2016 Former President Clinton: Mr. President I represent the Smithsonian Institution Department of US Historical Antiquities (SIDUSHA) and we are in the process of trying to bring our collection of presidential memorabilia up to date for the History […]

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Obama Blames US Senate Rejection of Gun Control Legislation for Causing Oklahoma Earthquake

Hangzhou China- (satireworld.com) US President Barack Obama was snubbed by the Chinese government when Air Force One landed in China for his attendance at the G-20 Economic Summit. He had to exit via the rear door of the airplane without the usual red carpet treatment accorded a visiting foreign head of state.

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International Liars Club to Honor Hillary Clinton with an Award

Hollywood CA – (satireworld.com) The International Liars Club Governing Board sent Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton an invitation to speak at their 2016 annual meeting to be held at the Hollywood Bowl on Sunday September 4, 2016 at 6:00 PM PDT. Former US Secretary of state and US Senator (D-NY) Hillary Clinton graciously accepted the […]

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Lost? Scared? Heading For A Pre-Election Bladder Seizure?? Latest Mobile Tools Alert Clinton Family Of Hillary’s Location, Status, Bloodpressure C*unt, etc

New York City – (SatireWorld.com) “So far none of her mobile apps, wearables or social media site contacts appears to have been infiltrated,” a campaign mouthpiece said today amid reports that Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has been security tagged with a high tech ankle bracelet that alerts Bill, Chelsea and/or much of the Clinton […]

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ObamaCare May be Dangerous to Your Health

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Reports have been simultaneously released by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) that indicate male condom materials may cause cancer in humans. A number of brands have been tested and only one has been found to contain asbestos.

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Huma Abedin: “No More Weiner, It’s Easier Being Lesbian Like Hillary”

NEW YORK – (satireworld.com) Huma Abedin, the woman with the worst taste in men, and Hillary Clinton’s shadow, has been burned again by her sexting-addicted husband, Anthony Weiner. This makes the third time, and Huma said today she’s had enough.

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REPORT: Hillary Clinton Once Sexually Harassed FOX New’s Roger Ailes in 1998

New York, NY – (satireworld.com) The sexual misconduct charges are flying faster than ever before as the election season becomes less than ten weeks from from the big day. This week it’s Hillary Clinton caught up in the sexual perversion dragnet by a revelation from her First Lady past where she reportedly sexually harassed FOX […]

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Vegan Cannibals Reported in San Francisco

San Francisco CA – (satireworld.com) A town meeting was held with the San Francisco Board of Supervisors (SFBS) to discuss citizen complaints about coyotes living in the “City by the Bay,” eating small dogs and cats.

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Slave Great-Grandson Talks About Being ‘Owned’ By Hillary’s Family in 1859

Cairo, IL – (satireworld.com) Meet Chasworth A. Rodham. Mr Rodham has an interesting lineage. For the better part of the 20th century 89 year Mr. Rodham has lived with a story that only now has come to light in a book authored by him with the help of his grandson Elmer Longtree. ‘Being Owned By […]

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Political Correctness and Chicago’s Inner City Schools

Chicago IL – (satireworld.com) Todd Starnes of Fox News writes, “If the progressive academic radicals at Princeton University have their way, the New Jersey school will soon be man-free.” The private university wants to eradicate the word “man” from its vocabulary. It’s all part of an effort to get folks to start using “gender inclusive […]

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Trump: Hillary’s Back Injury Due To Kick Starting Her Vibrator

Trump Tower, New York City – (satireworld.com) At a Wednesday press conference Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump addressed his concerns about his opponent’s health and vitality and especially her ability to govern 24/7 without succumbing to bouts of pain in which she might require doses of powerful medications which he felt could cloud good judgement […]

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CDC Declares a Food Poisoning Alert Across the USA

Atlanta GA – (satireworld.com) The Center for Disease Control (CDC) has alerted all 50 states and various US territories to the onset of a pandemic of food poisoning. The epidemic has reached crisis proportions, affecting at least 100 million people in the last eight years.

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Democratic Party Solicitation Email

To: Monica Lewinsky, Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Juanita Broaddrick From: Former President William J. Clinton Subject: Democratic Party Fund Raising Date: August 10, 2016

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Hillary Clinton the Robot Electrically Malfunctions Repeatedly

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) Democratic Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton arrogantly explained her recent incorrect spin of the FBI investigation into her private email server. She said that I may have “short-circuited” (SIC lied) in her remarks during a television interview when she asserted that FBI director, James B. Comey, had called her statements about her private […]

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Black Thighs Matter As US Protest Spreads To UK

London, UK – (SatireWorld.com) There was heavy disruption close to Heathrow Airport this morning when a group of grossly corpulent activists chained themselves to the freeway in protest at police law enforcement of local gang thuggery.

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Monica Lewinsky Mulls $50,000 Fee To Inaugurate London’s Fellatio Cafe

London, UK, The Seat of Empire – (SatireWorld.com) Offering a ‘free’ blowjob with each mouthwateringly priced $100 cappuccino a new oral sex-themed restaurant in London is hoping to lure former Clinton intern Monica Lewinsky to do the honors at its official opening next month.

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Street Mural of Almost Nude Hillary with Money Stashed in Belt Making St. Petersburg Seniors Sick

St.Petersburg, FL – (satireworld.com) Retired folks over at the Sunset Acres Mobile Home Park have had it! First, it was the BlackLivesMatter marches in a predominately white retiree neighborhood by Alzheimer patients from a nearby nursing home who were given a donut and a phony 100 dollar bill by George Seros operatives to…’stir things up […]

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