Archive for 'US News'

2019 Dancing With The Stars To Feature All Plus Size Contestants

Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com) Network officials and show producers have announced that the 2019 season of “Dancing With The Stars” will feature nothing but “big” contestants.  The “big,” however, is not what you would normally thing of as “big Hollywood stars.”  All of next year’s contestants will be plus sized.

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NYC Bans Coney Island Whitefish

New York NY: New York City (NYC) (satireworld.com) Democratic Mayor Bill de Blasio and the NYC Council have passed an ordinance banning Coney Island Whitefish. The Coney Island Whitefish, better known as a Condom (latex/rubber), cannot now be disposed of in any manner (like flushing) that causes this protective device to wind up in any […]

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Nike’s Next Commercial To Feature Hanoi Jane Beheading Christians

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com) Nike, which is trying to corner and control the market on Un-Americans and Anti-Americans, has announced a follow-up to their Colin Kaepernick commercials.  Famous traitor and subversive “Hanoi” Jane Fonda, who has been found guilty of treason in the court of public opinion but not in the Hollywood and Democratically controlled […]

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Pedophile Jared Fogle Becomes Singer/Songwriter in Prison

Safford, AZ- (satireworld.com) The Federal Bureau of Prisons has released information that Jared Fogle, former Subway spokesman, has written and recorded several songs while serving in prison.  Fogle is currently incarcerated in Safford, Arizona and is serving a sentence for having child pornography and for engaging in illicit sexual contact with underage women.

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The First Man Controversy Explained; A SatireWorld Editorial

NASA – (satireworld.com) In the summer of 1969, The United States of America launched the Apollo 11 spaceflight.  It landed on the moon on July 20th and Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the moon the next day.  He was the followed by Buzz Aldrin.  Training for the mission was done in […]

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Illinois Republican Congressional Candidates Admit to Campaigning in Cemeteries

Chicago, IL – (satireworld.com) All of the Republican candidates in the Chicago area have admitted that they are campaigning in the cities cemeteries for the 2018 midterm elections.  The famous Illinois cemetery vote, which has historically been 100% for the Democrats since the 1960 Presidential election (which gave the election to Kennedy over Nixon). 

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Nancy Pelosi Claims Trump Should Be Impeached Because “He Likes Big Titties”

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Democratic Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi of  the Fruitcake, California district, who is constantly looking everywhere to attempt to make President Donald Trump look bad, has now decided that he should be impeached because “he likes large breasted women.”

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After Banning Straws, California Democrats Seek To Outlaw Coffee Stirrers

San Francisco, CA – (satireworld.com) After successfully managing to ban straws in California in all restaurants and stores, the state’s Democrats are no seeking to ban coffee stirrers.  Party spokesman Buff Limpnoodle addressed the intended actions in a press conference outside of a San Francisco Starbucks.

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FBI Fingers Hillary Clinton In Surprise Vagina Probe

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Senior FBI investigators named ex-presidential candidate Hillary Clinton as a credible source in an ongoing look at election claims which used television ad bites to promote the Democratic party’s stance on certain controversial issues and uttering supposedly false charges against other candidates.

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Job Deadbeat Omarosa Manigualt Bounced Around The Clinton Administration Too

Washington, DC – The Trump White House is not the first to be unsatisfied with the work performance of Omarosa Manigault, the former senior Trump staffer who already released secretly recorded conversations she had with the president and Chief of Staff John Kelly.

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The Four Democratic Jackasses of the Apocalypse

Washington DC: The prophesy of the four Democratic Jackasses of the Apocalypse is foretold in the last chapters of the Democratic National Committee (DNC) Book of Socialist Moron Politicians. The four Jackasses are symbols of the different events which will take place when the American people, in conjunction with the Republican Party, finally confront and […]

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The 10 Most Destructive Americans Of The Last 8 Decades

Land of the Free – America has undergone enormous change during our lives. Today, America is a bitterly divided, poorly educated and morally fragile society with so-called mainstream politicians pushing cynical identity politics, socialism and wide open borders.

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‘King of Pop’ Michael Jackson’s Autopsy Results Finally Released

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Dr. Rami Gushinari finally released to the public the official 25 page LA Coroner’s report on Michael Jackson. The ‘King of Pop’ died from a drug overdose and was laid to rest in Woodlawn Cemetery for the Elite and Pompous more than 10 years ago.

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Biden/Holder-2020 Duck Boat Tour Targets US Swim States

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) Democratic Party presidential hopefuls Joe Biden and Eric Holder will be debuting the start of their 2020 campaign next week with a tour of crucial US sink-or-swim states.

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A San Francisco Resident Complains

San Francisco CA- A complaint has been received by the San Francisco Board of Supervisors from a long-time Democratic Congresswoman, resident in the “City by the Bay!” The issue is that people are leaving more than their hearts on the sidewalks and roadways of San Francisco!

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Happenings This Week in Tehran Iran

Tehran Iran: IRNA the Iranian News Service has announced that The Islamic Republic of Iran has adopted a more outwardly warm and fuzzy attitude to attract western and eastern nations to do business and attract tourists to come to Iran. “Death to America” and “Death to Israel” shouted in the presence of foreign tourists will […]

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The California Golden State Oldies Sing Their Favorite Golden Oldies

San Francisco CA – (satireworld.com) Representative Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Representative “Mad” Maxine Waters (D-CA) jointly announced that they are going on a US tour in 2019 as a singing duet called “The California Golden State Oldies.”

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Brits Mull Trump’s Fluorine Chickens Trade Deal

London – (SatireWorld.com) The United States Chicken Bureau said today that President Rump would be pushing hard during his upcoming state visit to sell Brits millions of fluoridated American chickens in a landmark trade deal.

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Mickey Mouse to Run for President in 2020

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Former President Barack Obama met secretly with at least nine prospective 2020 Democratic presidential candidates, including Socialist Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT), Senator Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren (D-MA), former VP Joe “Shotgun” Biden (D-DE) and former Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick. At least 15 big donor Hollywood stars were turned away!

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Hillary Receives the Prestigious EMF Award From the NAACP

Chappaqua NY- (satireworld.com) Former Democratic President Bill Clinton and failed 2016 Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton’s home is in the small Westchester County town of Chappaqua NY. The town, not far from New York City (NYC), demographically has 1400 residents of which 2.5% are Hispanic and there are zero African Americans.

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You Can Keep Your Plastic Straws If You Like!

Polar Bear Alaska: MacDougal’s Fast Fish Cafe shareholders have rejected a proposal asking the firm to report on its use of plastic straws. This is the latest part of a campaign backed by the self-appointed activist group Environmental Wackos of California (EWOC) pressuring the firm to ban certain food packaging items. The idea won less […]

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Elton John Upset That He Wan’t Biggest Queen At Royal Wedding

Westminster Kennel Show….opps Royal Wedding! (SatireWorld.com) British singer Elton John was upset at the Royal Wedding to see that he wasn’t “the biggest Queen” in attendance. He felt that his presence was upstaged by that of Queen Elizabeth II at the marriage of her grandson, Prince Harry, to Meagan the American Commoner….AKA The Hollywood Princess.

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Police Mistake Maxine Waters Supporters For Zombies

Cairo, IL – (satireworld.com) Cairo police were tagged as racist and quick-on-the-gun after a hastily formed riot squad descended upon a gathering of Congresswoman Maxine Waters supporters assembling in a local park.

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USPS- Barack Obama Era Commemorative Stamp Now On Sale

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) The United States Postal Service announced today that the long overdue commemorative stamp issue celebrating the two-term presidency of Barack Obama are now on sale at most USPS locations.

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Police Report an Increase in “Mooned” CCTV Cameras

New York NY – (satireworld.com) Various transportation policing agencies use CCTV and “Facial Recognition SW” technology to monitor people’s faces at New York City (NYC) airports, railroad/commuter terminals and bus stations. The cameras supporting a facial recognition capability are located near ticket counters, boarding and luggage pick up areas, and schedule boards at transportation centers.

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Arrest Made In Chevrolet Sex Case

Morgan, Kansas (satireworld.com) A Kansas man attempting to insert his penis into the tailpipe of a car had to be subdued with a stun gun after refusing to listen to police.

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Democrat Pelosi Supports the NRA

Washington DC: (satireworld.com) House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) tweeted to her constituents that she now wholeheartedly supports the NRA! ‘After a lot of soul searching and discussions with my US House leadership team of 1st “Horse Holder” Representative Steny Hoyer (D-MD) and 2nd “Horse Holder” Representative James Clyburn (D-SC) we have concluded it is […]

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Golden Sewers Attorney Pleads The Filth

NYC, NY – (SatireWorld.com): A New York attorney suspected of laundering dirty money who says he ‘never stepped a foot inside the bouncing Check Republic’ will play schtum before the law courts his lawyer said today.

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Satire World Voted World’s Number One Satire Site

New York,NY – (satireworld.com) The staff and writers over at Satire World are living it up with the announcement of substantial bonuses and a hard sought after international award. According staff writer Oleg Penkovsky, “yes it has been a whirlwind week of surprises from management and very appreciated accolades from satire writing peers from around […]

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Steven Donziger Mooted For Trump Legal Team

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com): The New York City lawyer who famously won a $19bn Ecuadorian pollution settlement against US super major Chevron is being head hunted as legal co counsel for President Donald Trump.

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