Archive for 'World News'

Chelsea Clinton: Abortions Have Helped US Economy

New York City, NY- (satireworld.com) NINCOMPOOP REPORT Chelsea Clinton praised the Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision of 1973 that legalized abortion on Saturday,then backtracked claiming abortion were available seven-days a week. Embarrassed by the gaffe, Clinton went on saying abortions helped add $3.5 trillion to the U.S. economy. Chelsea, the only child of Hillary […]

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Job Deadbeat Omarosa Manigualt Bounced Around The Clinton Administration Too

Washington, DC – The Trump White House is not the first to be unsatisfied with the work performance of Omarosa Manigault, the former senior Trump staffer who already released secretly recorded conversations she had with the president and Chief of Staff John Kelly.

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The Four Democratic Jackasses of the Apocalypse

Washington DC: The prophesy of the four Democratic Jackasses of the Apocalypse is foretold in the last chapters of the Democratic National Committee (DNC) Book of Socialist Moron Politicians. The four Jackasses are symbols of the different events which will take place when the American people, in conjunction with the Republican Party, finally confront and […]

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International Diplomacy Latest: Canadian PM Trudeau ‘Named After Discredited Contraceptive Method’ Say Saudis

Ottawa, Canada -(SatireWorld.com) “Justin was conceived via the notorious Withdrawal Method of family planning,” Middle East geneticists claimed today amid an escalating Saudi-Canadian diplomatic spat, “that’s why he’s called Just-In, his Pa couldn’t get out in time.”

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Hillary Now Blames 2016 Loss On Lack Of Male Heir

New York City, NY – Hillary Clinton excuse number 74 (we know you’ve been counting) as to why her 2016 presidential campaign imploded during voting and underdog Donald Trump won….The new excuse that has people’s heads churning even more in disbelief is…Her lack of a male heir.

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1500 Mile Appalachian Trail Paved Bike Path Gets EPA Thumbs Up

Washington, DC – Policy changes in national parks primitive area usage rested upon a pending decision by both the EPA and Interior Department over allowing full access to natural trail systems by handicapped and other physically limited users.

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Happenings This Week in Tehran Iran

Tehran Iran: IRNA the Iranian News Service has announced that The Islamic Republic of Iran has adopted a more outwardly warm and fuzzy attitude to attract western and eastern nations to do business and attract tourists to come to Iran. “Death to America” and “Death to Israel” shouted in the presence of foreign tourists will […]

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Mickey Mouse to Run for President in 2020

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Former President Barack Obama met secretly with at least nine prospective 2020 Democratic presidential candidates, including Socialist Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT), Senator Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren (D-MA), former VP Joe “Shotgun” Biden (D-DE) and former Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick. At least 15 big donor Hollywood stars were turned away!

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You Can Keep Your Plastic Straws If You Like!

Polar Bear Alaska: MacDougal’s Fast Fish Cafe shareholders have rejected a proposal asking the firm to report on its use of plastic straws. This is the latest part of a campaign backed by the self-appointed activist group Environmental Wackos of California (EWOC) pressuring the firm to ban certain food packaging items. The idea won less […]

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Elton John Upset That He Wan’t Biggest Queen At Royal Wedding

Westminster Kennel Show….opps Royal Wedding! (SatireWorld.com) British singer Elton John was upset at the Royal Wedding to see that he wasn’t “the biggest Queen” in attendance. He felt that his presence was upstaged by that of Queen Elizabeth II at the marriage of her grandson, Prince Harry, to Meagan the American Commoner….AKA The Hollywood Princess.

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USPS- Barack Obama Era Commemorative Stamp Now On Sale

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) The United States Postal Service announced today that the long overdue commemorative stamp issue celebrating the two-term presidency of Barack Obama are now on sale at most USPS locations.

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Police Report an Increase in “Mooned” CCTV Cameras

New York NY – (satireworld.com) Various transportation policing agencies use CCTV and “Facial Recognition SW” technology to monitor people’s faces at New York City (NYC) airports, railroad/commuter terminals and bus stations. The cameras supporting a facial recognition capability are located near ticket counters, boarding and luggage pick up areas, and schedule boards at transportation centers.

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Syrian Distraction Bumming Ahead Of Comey Book

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com): White House advisers are finessing some unprecedented diversionary moves to steady the President’s hand as ex-FBI chief James Comey’s eagerly awaited memoir readies to hit the shops.

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Ted Kennedy Memorial Aquarium Opens Today in Chappaquiddick, Massachusetts

(satireworld.com) It only took about 50 years of enduring various hard-handed tactics and immense political pressure by the Kennedy clan to keep the secret buried, but today the truth finally appears to be out in public with the grand opening of the Ted Kennedy Memorial Aquarium and the simultaneous opening of the Hollywood-inspired motion picture […]

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Teen Anti-Gun Activist David Hogg Rejected By Four Colleges

Broward County, Fl – (satireworld.com) Leftist teenage activist David Hogg, who supports everything anti-conservative, publicly revealed today that four out of four colleges he applied to this past winter have turned him down for this fall starting semester citing various reasons.

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The Taste of Hillary

Chappaqua NY – (satireworld.com) Former Democratic Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton left the USA for a 10 country, publisher paid trip to plug her new book “What Happened.” The book is about her 2016 presidential aspirations (she lost to Republican Donald Trump) is not doing well domestically. So, Hillary opted to quietly take her book tour […]

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Tinker Traitor Soldya Trump?

Chernobyl, Ukraine – (SatireWorld.com): A new book about international espionage names Don T Rump as America’s leading Mafia don, describing him ‘a global tentacle-reach close second’ to top KGB matriarch Queen Elizardbirth Vagina.

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Three Geopolitical Events Occurred this Week

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) Republican President Donald Trump had an interesting week in the Nation’s Capital including; consideration of new import tariffs, gun control proposals, DACA legislation proposals, Russian President Putin’s new nuclear missile, Maxine Waters calling President Trump a racist and North Korea’s leader Kim Jong Un inviting President Trump to come to the table […]

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Feeling News Savvy? Take Our Gullible Media Lapdog Quiz

The Satire World Political Quiz The rules are simple. We will give you a quote and you have to guess what great American said it. Your four choices are Ex-President Barack Obama, Ex-President George W. Bush, former Vice President Dan Quayle, or former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. Good Luck…

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Sources of Greenhouse Gases Identified

Hawthorne CA – (satireworld.com) Space X CEO Elon Musk announced that the Falcon Heavy rocket was launched successfully on February 8, 2018 from the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. This giant vehicle boosted a payload of his cherry-red Tesla sports car, although it could easily boost up to 24 metric tons into an Earth orbit.

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Dangerous Felons Escape from San Quentin State Prison

San Quentin CA – (satireworld.com) In a large jail break, dangerous felons have escaped from San Quentin State Prison for men, following a week of continuous rioting. A series of new California laws passed by the California Legislature and signed by Democratic Governor Jerry Brown (D-CA) that went into effect on January 1, 2018 is […]

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London Embassy Siege Latest

London – (SatireWorld.com) Hundreds of police have been deployed outside the Iranian embassy in London this weekend in a concerted bid to ‘stop the bastards escaping’ according to latest diplomatic reports.

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Judge Denies Petition to Free Zoo Elephants

Torrington CT – (satireworld.com) A Judge has denied a petition seeking to free three elephants from the Commerford Zoo located in Goshen, rejecting the argument that the animals should be granted legal person-hood.

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North Korea Demands Rocket Competition Category At Winter Olympics

Seoul, South Korea – (satireworld.com) North Korean leader Kim Song-Un pulled no punches Saturday as a committee representing him and other DPRK leaders demanded parity with other Winter Olympic athletes and suggested the North have a winter rocket launching category so 50,000 DRPK soldiers can compete.

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Al Gore: ‘Bitter cold’ is exactly what we should expect from the climate crisis

Dallas,TX- (satireworld.com) Gore’s Oscar-winning documentary An Inconvenient Truth did not warn of record cold and increasing snowfalls as a consequence of man-made global warming. And as recently as 2009, Gore was hyping the lack of snow as evidence for man-made global warming. Maybe Al Gore doesn’t know a thing about climate change after all and […]

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Spellchecker Bug Behind White House Staffer’s Bum Rush Booting?

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) A computer bug may be in the frame behind the sudden, unexplained firing of Omarosa Manigault Newman, defunct White House Office of Public Liaison communications director, according to latest SatireWorld reports.

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They Came from Outer Space

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Former Secretary of State (SOS) Hillary Clinton’s classified TOP SECRET emails sent/received from an illegal, unsecured email server in the basement of her home in Chappaqua NY have been in the news since 2014 (within President Obama’s second term)!

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Sexy Rexy Apoplexy At GOP Moves To Install Big Oil Factotum In The White House

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) President Trump is to be removed from orifice and replaced with former ExxonMobil CEO Rex Tillerson, current US Secretary of State, according to a Capitol Hill deep throat briefing today.

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Egyptian Jobs Program Funded By UN Includes New Pyramid Construction

Cairo, Egypt-(satireworld.com) Egyptian authorities have begun the process of building the fourth Pyramid of Giza in order to alleviate the severe unemployment problem that has plagued the country since 5,000 BC. Labor sources have related that up to 4 million laborers will be needed to haul cut stone from the ancient quarry located 30 miles […]

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Movie Review: The Malignant Seven

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) A new horror film “The Malignant Seven” opened at The Lockheed Martin IMAX Theater located at the National Air and Space Museum in Washington, DC, for Halloween night only. The theater’s six-story screen is bigger than any other in the city. If you’ve ever wanted to be immersed in an R-Rated, 60 […]

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