Archive for 'World News'

Kleenex To Release Special Facial Product For Democrats: “Pity Me Tissues”

Scotch Plains, NY – (satireworld.com) Kleenex, a division of Kimberly-Clark, has announced that they are releasing a new line of their popular facial tissues made specially for Democrats to use when crying over losing elections, seeing a robust economy, paying lower gas prices, and other events that may go against their programmed agenda.  Called “Pity […]

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Long Lost “A Christmas Carol” Remake Starring Worst Actors Ever Discovered in Storage Facility

Hollywood,CA – (satireworld.com) A 2005 potential box office fiasco/lost film has been discovered in Hollywood while cleaning out a storage room at Universal Pictures.  This movie, not released in theaters, may star the worst acting cast of all time.

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Ayatollah Upset Notre Dame Made NCAA Playoff Instead of UCF

Tooba, Iran – (satireworld.com) The Ayatollah Smella Buttholla, leading Moslem/Muslim cleric in the Middle East, is upset that the NCAA selected Notre Dame to be in the College Football Playoff instead of UCF (the University of Central Florida).  “I can understand undefeated Alabama and Clemson as they were so much better than every other team […]

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Former French President Sarkozy Once Took $50 Million From Muammer Gaddafi, Does a Possible Matching Contribution to Obama Explain Benghazi?

Food for thought: (satireworld.com) During the 2011 French Presidential Campaign, former Libyan dictator Muammer Gaddafi donated sixty million euros to the reelection fund of sitting French president Nicolas Sarkozy.  Per Libyan officials in a French 2018 investigation, the money was given in exchange for “access and favors.”   Sauf-al-Islam Gaddafi said in an interview with Euronews […]

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Verifying the Gender of Santa Claus (20th Anniversary)

North Pole – (satireworld.com) In November of 1998, I received a very disturbing e-mail. It had been forwarded several times, so there was no way to point to the original author or origin. I would like to quote that e-mail in it’s entirety, and then add my own comments: He’s a She “I hate to […]

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Blotter: Police Make First Arrests of Christmas Holiday Season

The Police Department (Christmas Division) have made their first arrest of the 2018 holiday season.  For public record, the arrests are listed below:

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Barrio Santa Claus Considers Painting His Low Rider Something Other Than “Arrest Me Red”

El Paso, Texas – (satireworld.com) Barrio Santa Claus, who visits his paisanos and his hermanitos every year on Christmas Eve to deliver gifts, has announced plans to paint his low rider something than the traditional “arrest me red.  “La Migra always tries to arrest me when I cross the border because my ride just stands […]

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Honduras Caravan Members Sue Trump Administration Because “We Weren’t Allowed to Participate in the Black Friday Sales”

Tijuana, Mexico – (satireworld.com) The Honduras Caravan members have sued the President and the Trump Administration because their being refused an illegal entry into the United States prevented them from being able to participate in the 2018 Black Friday sales.  They were also limited in buying at Small Business Saturday sales (though they could buy […]

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Happy Thanksgiving from the Satire World Staff

HAPPY THANKSGIVING Y’ALL!

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Al Gore Discovers a New Environmental Bogeyman

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) Former Vice President Al Gore (supposed inventor of the Internet), noted predictor of dire, non-occurring, environmental calamities since 2000 spoke before the International Brassiere Manufacturers Association (IBMA) convention. He cautioned that the effect of plastics and oil based synthetic fibers used in Bra manufacturing are affecting the oceans of the world.

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In Honor of Veteran’s Day… A Serious Note from SatireWorld

Please forward this today to everyone on your e-mail list in remembrance of all who have ever worn the uniform…and gave their yesterdays that we could have our tomorrows.  This is the 100th anniversary of the Armistice that ended World War 1.  Remember that “all gave some, but some gave all.”

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Kemp pushes Abrams to concede in Georgia gubernatorial race

Atlanta, GA – (satireworld.com) Ahead by more than 6,000,000 votes days after Georgia’s gubernatorial election, Republican Brian Kemp pushed for Democrat Stacey Abrams to finally concede Saturday as civil rights groups urged her to stay in the fight even though she’s losing by more than 6 million votes.

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Obvious Election Fraud Committed in New Mexico… by a County (a Satireworld Editorial)

What’s wrong with this picture? Yvette Harrell ran against Xochitl Torres Small for the congressional seat in Southern New Mexico. Party doesn’t matter right now because both are reprehensible (there wasn’t a lesser of two evils in this campaign). Harrell misdirected money (over half a million dollars) from the state to her business (while in […]

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Pelosi, Feinstein, and Waters Claim They Were Insulted at D.C. Restaurants Wednesday

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein, and Maxine Waters claim that they were insulted at a local Washington D.C. restaurant went they went out to lunch on Wednesday (October 31st).  Said Pelosi, “we were on a break from out duties in the House and Senate and went together to get a bite to […]

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California Democrats Demand Migrant Caravan Be Allowed In By Tuesday In Order To Vote

San Diego, CA – (satireworld.com) California democrats have demanded that Donald Trump move the military and National Guard away from the borders and allow the invaders marching through Mexico to enter the country by Tuesday so that they can vote in the mid-term elections.  They have pinpointed the specific districts where they want the homeless […]

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Were’s All The Caravan Crap?

Speaking of that Honduran caravan. Here’s a question for you. It’s about that caravan heading thousands of miles t o storm our Southern border. I’ll make it simple…. Where do they dump? The Hondurans in the caravan, the 7,000 people walking north to America, where do they go to the bathroom? How do they eat […]

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Ayatollah Demands United States Celebrate and Honor Muslim Holiday

Tehran,Iran – The Ayatollah Smella Buttholla has demanded that the United States being celebrating a Moslem/Muslim holiday.  “You are supposed to recognize the separation of church and state, but you celebrate Christmas and Easter and note Hanukkah and Kwanzaa (which was made up by a bunch of racists twenty years ago).  Why shouldn’t your country […]

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DNC Already Planning Spontaneous Riots, Looting, Violence, and Mob Action In Areas Where They Lose Mid-Term Elections

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Investigations have revealed that the Democratic Party has already been organizing and planning riots, looting, car burning, violence, mob action, protests, and crying in areas where the Republicans win races in the mid-term elections on Tuesday.  George Soros and Oprah Winfrey have each pledged millions in funding to pay for the […]

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Arkansas City Posts Bid To Host 2032 Summer Olympic Games

Camel Toe Ridge, Arkansas – (satireworld.com) Camel Toe Ridge, Arkansas, the county seat of Snatch County, has submitted a bid to the International Olympic Committee to host the 2032 Summer Games.  The town joins other bids from cities like Sydney (Australia), Buenos Aires (Argentina), St. Petersburg (Russia), and Brussels, Belgium.

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Ayatollah Removed From Manchester Petting Zoo on England State Visit

Manchester, UK – (satireworld.com) The Ayatollah Smella Buttholla, in England on a state visit to speak to Moslem/Muslim immigrants and to secure preferential treatment for his people, was removed by police from a Manchester petting zoo today.  The Iranian religious leader was, according to upset parents and crying children, “doing nasty things with the sheep […]

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Donner Party Archaeological Study Finds Survivors Preferred White Meat

Peru, OR – (satireworld.com) An archaeological study of the remains of the Donner Party shows that the survivors who had to turn to cannibalism preferred white meat to dark meat.  The group, who was stranded in the Sierra Nevada mountains of California in the winter of 1846-47 appear to have eaten about 20% more breast […]

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Classic Chuck Norris Film “Good Guys Wear Black” to have Politically Correct Remake

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com) 1978’s Chuck Norris action film “Good Guys Wear Black” will have a politically correct remake scheduled for release in two years as a holiday film.  The new movie, titled “Good Guys Wear Black Fishnet Stockings,” is scheduled to being filming next summer in San Francisco, California.

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Woman Reveals She Was With Kavanaugh the Night Christine Blasey Ford Testified About

Dubsdread, OH – (satireworld.com) An Ohio woman has revealed that, “according to the records in my journal,” she was actually having sex with Brett Kavanaugh on the night Christine Blasey Ford claims he tried to rape her.  Mary Jane Rottencrotch said that “I wrote everything down, I have pictures, and I can tell you where […]

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Senator Chuck Revealed to be Owner of Schumer’s Bloomers

Brooklyn, NY – (satireworld.com) The source of the Schumer family fortune has been found with the discovery that New York Democratic Senator Charles Ellis “Chuck” Schumer is secretly the owner of Schumer’s Bloomers, a woman’s lingerie store located throughout Western Europe.  Not only is the Senator the owner, but is also the President, founder, designer, […]

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500+ at California Nude Beach Commit Self Mutilation

San Diego, CA – (satireworld.com) Over five hundred people at a San Diego Nude Beach cut, poked, gouged out, stabbed, and mutilated their eyes in multiple ways to purposefully lose their vision.  These acts of personal blinding are blamed on Senator Dianne Feinstein (one of California’s famed Trio of Terror) showing up and disrobing on […]

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Swing City in Arkansas Elects Republican Mayor With 95% of the Vote

Camel Tie Ridge, Arkansas – (satireworld.com) Farley Dickerson was elected mayor of Camel Toe Ridge, Arkansas with a whopping 95% of the vote.  Camel Toe Ridge, the seat of Snatch County, is considered a pivotal “swing” city for indicating the vote in the national election.

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Liberal Democratic Senators Smell Up Judiciary Hearing Rooms

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The hearing rooms where the Senate Judiciary Committee meets, both the large and small conference areas, have been closed for maintenance. A foul smell was left by the smear campaign carried out by the 10 committee Democrats questioning Judge Kavanaugh on his confirmation to be an Associate Justice of the Supreme […]

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California’s Trio of Terror Upset People Confusing Them With Horror Movie Characters

California, USA – (satireworld.com) They are not Freddy Kruger, Jason Vorhees, and Pinhead.  They are not Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Mummy.  They are not the Predator, the Alien, and Darth Vader.  They are also not Godzilla, King Kong, and Mothra.  You’d also be wrong with The Wolfman, Chucky the Killer Doll, and Michael Myers.  Dianne […]

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Ivana Phuque and Nastia Phuque to Compete Together as Tennis Doubles on Tour

Stockholm, Sweden – (satireworld.com) Olympic and world champion (Speed skating and pole vault) Ivana Phuque and her sister-in-law Nastia Phuque (a five time Olympic medalist and world champion in gymnastics  herself) have announced their intention to compete as a doubles team on the tennis tour.  Ivana, who previously said that she would compete on the […]

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Alyssa Milano Admits She Was Trying to Increase Her Fifteen Minutes of Fame

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com) Actress Alyssa Milano, who has not been really relevant since starring in Charmed and Who’s the Boss, tried to reinvent her fifteen minutes of fame last week by appearing nearly topless at the Brett Kavanaugh Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings.  Milano, who stated that she was there to support the female accuser […]

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