Archive for 'World News'

Sources of Greenhouse Gases Identified

Hawthorne CA – (satireworld.com) Space X CEO Elon Musk announced that the Falcon Heavy rocket was launched successfully on February 8, 2018 from the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. This giant vehicle boosted a payload of his cherry-red Tesla sports car, although it could easily boost up to 24 metric tons into an Earth orbit.

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Dangerous Felons Escape from San Quentin State Prison

San Quentin CA – (satireworld.com) In a large jail break, dangerous felons have escaped from San Quentin State Prison for men, following a week of continuous rioting. A series of new California laws passed by the California Legislature and signed by Democratic Governor Jerry Brown (D-CA) that went into effect on January 1, 2018 is […]

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London Embassy Siege Latest

London – (SatireWorld.com) Hundreds of police have been deployed outside the Iranian embassy in London this weekend in a concerted bid to ‘stop the bastards escaping’ according to latest diplomatic reports.

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Judge Denies Petition to Free Zoo Elephants

Torrington CT – (satireworld.com) A Judge has denied a petition seeking to free three elephants from the Commerford Zoo located in Goshen, rejecting the argument that the animals should be granted legal person-hood.

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North Korea Demands Rocket Competition Category At Winter Olympics

Seoul, South Korea – (satireworld.com) North Korean leader Kim Song-Un pulled no punches Saturday as a committee representing him and other DPRK leaders demanded parity with other Winter Olympic athletes and suggested the North have a winter rocket launching category so 50,000 DRPK soldiers can compete.

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Al Gore: ‘Bitter cold’ is exactly what we should expect from the climate crisis

Dallas,TX- (satireworld.com) Gore’s Oscar-winning documentary An Inconvenient Truth did not warn of record cold and increasing snowfalls as a consequence of man-made global warming. And as recently as 2009, Gore was hyping the lack of snow as evidence for man-made global warming. Maybe Al Gore doesn’t know a thing about climate change after all and […]

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Spellchecker Bug Behind White House Staffer’s Bum Rush Booting?

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) A computer bug may be in the frame behind the sudden, unexplained firing of Omarosa Manigault Newman, defunct White House Office of Public Liaison communications director, according to latest SatireWorld reports.

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They Came from Outer Space

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Former Secretary of State (SOS) Hillary Clinton’s classified TOP SECRET emails sent/received from an illegal, unsecured email server in the basement of her home in Chappaqua NY have been in the news since 2014 (within President Obama’s second term)!

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Sexy Rexy Apoplexy At GOP Moves To Install Big Oil Factotum In The White House

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) President Trump is to be removed from orifice and replaced with former ExxonMobil CEO Rex Tillerson, current US Secretary of State, according to a Capitol Hill deep throat briefing today.

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Egyptian Jobs Program Funded By UN Includes New Pyramid Construction

Cairo, Egypt-(satireworld.com) Egyptian authorities have begun the process of building the fourth Pyramid of Giza in order to alleviate the severe unemployment problem that has plagued the country since 5,000 BC. Labor sources have related that up to 4 million laborers will be needed to haul cut stone from the ancient quarry located 30 miles […]

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Movie Review: The Malignant Seven

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) A new horror film “The Malignant Seven” opened at The Lockheed Martin IMAX Theater located at the National Air and Space Museum in Washington, DC, for Halloween night only. The theater’s six-story screen is bigger than any other in the city. If you’ve ever wanted to be immersed in an R-Rated, 60 […]

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Hillary Clinton Takes a Polygraph Test

Washington DC-(satireworld.com) Former Democratic National Committee (DNC) Chair Donna Brazile has released excepts from her forthcoming book entitled “Hacks.” Donna exposed the sins of Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party hierarchy during the 2016 Presidential election cycle.

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Obama Character Witness Testimony At Saudi Perverts Trial

New York – (SatireWorld.com) Ex-US president Barack Obama has been summonsed as a character witness in the upcoming House of Sword princes corruption trial.

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Judge: Disgraced Anthony Weiner To Temporarily Share Jail Cell With Charles Manson

Federal Prison – (SatireWorld.com) Ever since a New York City judge sentenced disgraced Congressman Anthony Wiener to up to one year in Federal prison for his part of displaying his genitalia online to an underage girl little has been heard about his accommodations while in prison

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Commentary: Mathematics and “White Privilege,” Another Liberal Excuse for Failing Black Education

Satire World writers couldn’t make this stuff up about dumbing down the US education system by blaming Mathematics and “White Privilege” for failing Black education. Eventually the USA would become a third world nation by eliminating mathematics from classroom curriculums! The Chinese and Japanese are very astute at mathematics. Anyone hear of Asian Privilege?   White […]

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Lee Harvey Oswald Traveled To Cuba To Witness Barack Obama Nativity Assassination Files Reveal

Havana, Cuba – (SatireWorld.com) “Like second coming of Three Wise Men,” Gordo Bastardo, former governor of Havana’s notorious Pudenda Enorma women’s jail told SatireWorld reporters as newly released JFK assassination files went viral today.

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Commentary: These Cultural Appropriation Moms Vote!

Moms are freaking out that ‘Moana’ costume is ‘cultural appropriation’ By Jane Ridley, NY Post, October 16, 2017 | 4:51 pm | Updated The scariest thing this Halloween for New York moms isn’t zombies or ghouls — it’s politically incorrect costumes.

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The USA Experiences a Toilet Paper Shortage?

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Senator Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren (D-MA) and Senator Bernie “Democratic Socialism” Sander’s (I-VT) are lobbying Congress to pass a single payer (US government) healthcare plan. President Trump and the Republicans in Congress are against this socialized medicine scheme, estimated to cost between $32 to $36 trillion over 10 years. The plan would […]

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Meet The One-legged Man Who’s Actually Busier Now As A One-Legged Ass Kicker

Durham, NC – (satireworld.com) Morris Helms says he’s never been busier! The retired veteran, who looks a healthy 50 instead of being a few days away from turning 65, says ever since he read an ad looking for contestants in a local amateur mixed martial arts contest he’s been very busy on Saturday nights. “ […]

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Obituary: “Civil Rights” Dead at 77

London UK: [satireworld.com] “Civil Rights” passed away during a National Football League (NFL) sponsored American football game staged in this city between the Baltimore Ravens and the Jacksonville Jaguars. The cause of death, according to the London Coroners Office, was a massive heart attack over lack of respect when both teams took a knee during […]

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Assisted Suicide Theory As Top Russian Banker Found Shot Dead

Moscow – [SatireWorld.com] In a case spookily reminiscent of the tragic – and slightly unexplained – 1993 RIP of Clinton White House deputy counsel Vince Foster a senior banker at Moscow’s state-owned GazPogromBank was found ‘suicided’ this morning, with two silver bullets lodged inside his head.

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Church of Demonic Hillary Holds First Meeting

Chappaqua NY- (satireWorld.com) After losing the 2016 Presidential Election to Republican Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton announced her intentions to become a Clergyman, rather than a Nun. Hillary has established the Church of Demonic Hillary and intends to build a 20,000 seat Mega-Church building (federal tax free) on her property, funded by the new Bill and […]

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UN Warns Of Upcoming Catastrophe As 40,000 Face Axe

NYC, New York – (SatireWorld.com) There were scenes of devastation outside the United Nations Plaza today amid a protest by forty thousand of the UN’s 44,000 payroll staff who have suddenly been given the sack.

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Pentagon Recalls Past Korean Combat Veterans To Counter North Korean Threats

The Pentagon – (SatireWorld.com) The manpower pinch coupled with the effects of the sequester is straining Army fitness and readiness standards. Two major conflicts in the last 18 years, and a renewed North Korean threat, has forced the Pentagon’s top brass to re-think ways to fill the ranks of front line defenses with highly trained […]

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Putin, Oreos, Capitalism and the West

Moscow – (satireworld.com) Vladimir Putin President of the Russian Federation seems to have a hard-on for the west, particularly the USA, when it comes to establishing better international relations. Republican President Donald Trump is trying to ease tensions in his first six months in office. However, former Democratic President Obama left the new administration several […]

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Tramp Junior Is Putin’s Daughter Says Russian Deep Throat

Moscow – (SatireWorld.com) According to laryngologists at Moscow’s famous Rear, Nose & Throat Hospital flaxen-heired Ms Junior has tested positive following analysis of intimate swabs. The news comes amid rising US-Russian tensions about KGB interference in 2016’s presidential troll. Uh, poll.

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Blountstown Florida’s Gold Strike Adds Scores of New Millionaires

Blountstown, FL – (satireworld.com) The Blountstown Chamber of Commerce released a long anticipated report concerning the effects and repercussions the recent discovery of multiple gold deposits have had on the small rural Florida panhandle community. Massive nuggets and almost pure gold flakes have placed the once sleepy Florida town on the map of richest places […]

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Rookie Auditions For SCOTUS Garage Band

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) US Supreme Court newby Neil Gorsuch is honing his ‘I-Shot-The-Sheriff’ tonight ahead of next week’s anticipated SCOTUS garage band audition.

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God “Sick and Tired of Being Everybody’s Damn Witness”

HEAVEN– (SatireWorld.com) The Lord God Almighty has had it up to his Charlton Heston-like brow with people who say “as god is my witness” when they want to underscore a statement or a threat.

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Meet The Alt-Right’s Golden Boy

NEW YORK— (SatireWorld.com) Richard B. Spencer, who has been called the Golden Boy of the Alt-Right, will adorn the cover of GQ’s February 2017 (Valentine Day) issue. The handsome, natty, and oh-so-controversial Mr. Spencer, who seeks to spread the gospel of white nationalism, is already spreading the gospel that “Neo-Nazis” are a far cry sartorially […]

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