Archive for 'Headlines of the Day'

70’s Isis Star Claims She’s Not A Terrorist

Pittsburgh, PA – (satireworld.com) Joanna Cameron, star of the mid-1970’s Saturday morning television series Isis, claims that she is not in any way affiliated with the terrorist group ISIS (called ISIL by some Democrats to show support for and pander to Syria).  She says that “yes, my show is named after the Egyptian goddess and […]

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F.D.A. To Fund Study To Discover The Way The Cookie Crumbles

Palo Alto, CA – (satireworld.com) “That’s the way the cookie crumbles” is an expression that has been around since the 1920’s.  The exact origin of the phrase is unknown, but it is used as another way to say “that’s life.”  Researchers at Stanford University have received a three billion dollar grant from the Food and […]

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“Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong” Is New Iranian National Anthem

Tehran,Iran: Word from the Middle East today reports that the country of Iran has named a variation of the old Edsel’s doo-wop song as their new national anthem.  “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong,” a modified version of “Rama Lama Ding Dong,” will now be the country’s official song and will be played at the Olympics (should […]

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Ronco and The Franklin Mint Combine with Democratic Party on Commemorative Plate Set

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) As a fund raiser for the 2020 Presidential Election, the Democratic Party has contracted with Ronco and The Franklin Mint to release a series of commemorative plates.  They will include such famous party individuals as Bill Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, and others.

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Annual “Throw a Paper Airplane at a Mosque Day” Guidelines Released

Religion-of-Peace Mall Hershey Highway, PA – (satireworld.com) The rules and guidelines for the annual “Throw a Paper Airplane at a Mosque Day” commemoration of 9/11 will take place on 10/11 this year.  The quiet and peaceful demonstration has quickly spread across the United States in memory of the tragedy of September 11th, when Moslem terrorists […]

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Michael Jordan Announces Another Comeback

SPORTS NEWS NETWORK- Michael “Air” Jordan, who is often called the greatest basketball player of all time, has announced that he will make his 3rd comeback attempt at age 55.  Jordan originally played for the Chicago Bulls from 1984 – 1993, retired to try his hand at baseball, came back to the Bulls from 1995 – […]

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2019 Dancing With The Stars To Feature All Plus Size Contestants

Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com) Network officials and show producers have announced that the 2019 season of “Dancing With The Stars” will feature nothing but “big” contestants.  The “big,” however, is not what you would normally thing of as “big Hollywood stars.”  All of next year’s contestants will be plus sized.

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Nike’s Next Commercial To Feature Hanoi Jane Beheading Christians

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com) Nike, which is trying to corner and control the market on Un-Americans and Anti-Americans, has announced a follow-up to their Colin Kaepernick commercials.  Famous traitor and subversive “Hanoi” Jane Fonda, who has been found guilty of treason in the court of public opinion but not in the Hollywood and Democratically controlled […]

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The First Man Controversy Explained; A SatireWorld Editorial

NASA – (satireworld.com) In the summer of 1969, The United States of America launched the Apollo 11 spaceflight.  It landed on the moon on July 20th and Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the moon the next day.  He was the followed by Buzz Aldrin.  Training for the mission was done in […]

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Job Deadbeat Omarosa Manigualt Bounced Around The Clinton Administration Too

Washington, DC – The Trump White House is not the first to be unsatisfied with the work performance of Omarosa Manigault, the former senior Trump staffer who already released secretly recorded conversations she had with the president and Chief of Staff John Kelly.

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Police Report an Increase in “Mooned” CCTV Cameras

New York NY – (satireworld.com) Various transportation policing agencies use CCTV and “Facial Recognition SW” technology to monitor people’s faces at New York City (NYC) airports, railroad/commuter terminals and bus stations. The cameras supporting a facial recognition capability are located near ticket counters, boarding and luggage pick up areas, and schedule boards at transportation centers.

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Syrian Distraction Bumming Ahead Of Comey Book

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com): White House advisers are finessing some unprecedented diversionary moves to steady the President’s hand as ex-FBI chief James Comey’s eagerly awaited memoir readies to hit the shops.

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Al Gore: ‘Bitter cold’ is exactly what we should expect from the climate crisis

Dallas,TX- (satireworld.com) Gore’s Oscar-winning documentary An Inconvenient Truth did not warn of record cold and increasing snowfalls as a consequence of man-made global warming. And as recently as 2009, Gore was hyping the lack of snow as evidence for man-made global warming. Maybe Al Gore doesn’t know a thing about climate change after all and […]

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Commentary: These Cultural Appropriation Moms Vote!

Moms are freaking out that ‘Moana’ costume is ‘cultural appropriation’ By Jane Ridley, NY Post, October 16, 2017 | 4:51 pm | Updated The scariest thing this Halloween for New York moms isn’t zombies or ghouls — it’s politically incorrect costumes.

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Meet The One-legged Man Who’s Actually Busier Now As A One-Legged Ass Kicker

Durham, NC – (satireworld.com) Morris Helms says he’s never been busier! The retired veteran, who looks a healthy 50 instead of being a few days away from turning 65, says ever since he read an ad looking for contestants in a local amateur mixed martial arts contest he’s been very busy on Saturday nights. “ […]

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Pentagon Recalls Past Korean Combat Veterans To Counter North Korean Threats

The Pentagon – (SatireWorld.com) The manpower pinch coupled with the effects of the sequester is straining Army fitness and readiness standards. Two major conflicts in the last 18 years, and a renewed North Korean threat, has forced the Pentagon’s top brass to re-think ways to fill the ranks of front line defenses with highly trained […]

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Blountstown Florida’s Gold Strike Adds Scores of New Millionaires

Blountstown, FL – (satireworld.com) The Blountstown Chamber of Commerce released a long anticipated report concerning the effects and repercussions the recent discovery of multiple gold deposits have had on the small rural Florida panhandle community. Massive nuggets and almost pure gold flakes have placed the once sleepy Florida town on the map of richest places […]

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God “Sick and Tired of Being Everybody’s Damn Witness”

HEAVEN– (SatireWorld.com) The Lord God Almighty has had it up to his Charlton Heston-like brow with people who say “as god is my witness” when they want to underscore a statement or a threat.

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Trump Win For The Little Guy

New York Post author: Michael Goodwin And so this is how the Obama era of Hope & Change really ends. With the world turned upside down, and with President Obama having to pass the baton to Donald Trump. That is going to be one helluva inauguration.

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Hillary Clinton Blames Stunning Presidential Loss on SatireWorld

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Knowing you’re about to get your ass kicked still doesn’t make it any more pleasant when it finally happened to Hillary Clinton. But in Hillary Clinton’s world it’s all the more bitter when it’s done by spoof artist pundits who get a kick out of making douchebags like the Clinton Cabel […]

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(Photo Edition) FBI Reports: Federal Jail Cell Being Repainted For Hillary

Leavenworth, KS – (SatireWorld.com) FBI sources have revealed to SatireWorld that a make-over is planned for a specific third-floor cell in the woman’s section of Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary in Kansas. The source says it’s planned to house Hillary Clinton after what they believe will be a quick trial due to the massive amount of evidence […]

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Huma’s Weiner Brings Down Hillary In Stunning October Surprise

Westchester County, NY – (SatireWorld.com) The FBI is probing new emails related to Hillary Clinton, FBI Director James Comey said in a Friday letter to lawmakers upon which many on Capitol Hill considered a re-opening of the Hillary server investigation that was closed in early July by Director Comey. That action was considered partisan politics […]

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‘Grand Theft Election’….It’s The Same Old Game For Democrats

Miami, FL – (SatireWorld.com) The closet geeks inside the Hillary Clinton presidential campaign are besides themselves with the success of their latest video game conceived in the back rooms of Chicago machine politicians, and financed by shady unions, off shore untraceable ‘donations’ and the financial web of the inscrutable George Soros. ‘Grand Theft Election’, now […]

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Donald J.Trump Promises To Give Hillary ‘First Ride/Last Ride’ On New Air Force One Plane

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Presidential candidate Donald Trump promised supporters in rural Pennsylvania that when he takes possession of the new Boeing 747 known as ‘Air Force One,’ he’ll give Hillary Clinton her first and last ride back to New York City.

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Blue Dog Dems Rally Support In New Chandra Levy Murder Probe

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) Pals of Gary Condit, the former US Congressman exonerated in the federal investigation of murdered 24 year-old DC intern Chandra Levy, are amassing an evidence dossier of ‘rogue’ Party members suspected of a cover-up in the 2001 Rock Creek Park killing.

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Meet The Most Overlooked, Under Appreciated, Left Out Voter In America

AMERICA – (satireworld.com) With the 2016 US presidential elections shaping up to be one of the hottest in decades, each candidate is carefully pandering to a smorgasbord of special-interest groups, ranging from gay, lesbian, and transgender people to children of illegal immigrants, to working mothers, mothers of black thugs who were shot by the police, […]

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Ex-DNC Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz Called Out As ‘ Soured Smelly Douchebag’ By Fellow Democrat

Washington, DC- (SatireWorld.com) Congresswoman Debbie Wassertman-Schultz (D-FL)has again put her size eleven clodhopper in her mouth after she falsely accused one time Jewish buddy Allan Greyson (D-FL) of attempting to ruin Obamacare by trying to unbalance the budget screwed up by President Barack Obama and addressing the National Debt ceiling.

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EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS! Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton and Aide Huma Abedin Arrested By FBI

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Sources in the highest levels of the FBI are privately saying that an arrest warrant was issued for Democratic Presidential candidate, crime boss, and former First Lady, Hillary Clinton after reports of Justice Department Secretary Lynch was caught at a secret meeting with Bill Clinton.

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Obama’s 7 Deadly Sins (Posted on January 13, 2016 by John Myers, Personal Liberty Digest)

There are two kinds of pride, both good and bad. “Good pride” represents our dignity and self-respect. “Bad pride” is the deadly sin of superiority that reeks of conceit and arrogance. — John C. Maxwell, American author

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Editorial: Failed President Obama’s Legacy

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) Failed President Barack Obama is a Democratic Marxist empty suit, former Chicago community organizer and divider of White and Black US citizens (race card player). This president won’t say “Islamic terrorism,” while Americans of all faiths were killed on American soil in an Islamic terrorist attack in San Bernardino, California.

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