Archive for 'Lead Story'
500 lb. Bigfoot Baby Spots Elvis in UFO
Amos,MO – (SatireWorld.com) Reginald Toaster, the famous 500 pound baby (now aged 17) allegedly fathered by Bigfoot, reported to the Ft. Smith, Arkansas Police Department that he had seen the late Elvis Presley. “The King was dressed in his famous white jumpsuit. I done seen him leave the Daylight Donuts and fly away in a [...]
Full StorySingles Websites to Adjust Category Answers Due to Participant Desire to be Average
Truth or Consequences, NM – (SatireWorld.com) Several major matchmaker websites for singles have jointly decided to change criteria for physical looks in their sites. The reasons given included a large number of falsehoods by subscribers in describing their individual characteristics and attributes.
Full StoryC.D.C. Determines The Laboratories Cause Cancer In Rats and Mice
Atlanta GA – (SatireWorld.com) The Centers for Disease Control, in a joint study with the Food and Drug Administration, the Mayo Clinic, and Johns Hopkins University announced today that laboratories cause cancer in expirimenatal test rodent subjects.
Full StoryNew Diet Craze Sweeping Nation: The M & M’s Diet
Mars, New Hampshire – (SatireWorld.com) Nutrition experts at candy company M&M Mars have released the newest weight lost method to hit the market: the M&M’s diet. Selections from an interview with company spokesman, Skip Jackson, are listed below:
Full StoryEditorial: Let’s Keep The Boy Scouts Straight
Satire World Editorial: This month, the Boy Scouts of America are supposed to announce their decision in regards to allowing openly gay members and leaders into their program. This possible change in the 100+ year old organization is due to political and economic pressure from government and the politically correct.
Full StoryAmazon.com Reports Kim Jung Un Has Ordered 1000 Pressure Cookers
DMZ-North Korea – (SatireWorld.com) North Korean Leader Kim Jun Un has ordered 1000 pressure cookers to be shipped to Pyongyang, according to a sales report released by Amazon.com. The dimunitive dictator, said a spokesman for the company, is either “wanting a bunch of kim chee really fast or is going to try to copycat the [...]
Full StoryObama Calling For Knife Control Laws After Houston College Stabbing Spree
Houston, TX -(SatireWorld.com) President Barack Obama has called for both political parties to “come to their senses and come to a consensus” after a stabbing at a Texas Community College left fourteen people with injuries.
Full StoryKim Jong Un Invites Jane Fonda To Visit North Korea
Pyongyang, North Korea – (SatireWorld.com) Kim Jong Un, current dictator of North Korea, has invited “Hanoi” Jane Fonda to visit his country. The actress, exercise video star, and political activist is most famous for her stance on the Vietnam War and her treasonous acts towards the United States Government and individual American soldiers during that [...]
Full StoryPublisher Reveals Autobiography of Debbie Wasserman Shultz’s College Days Will Not Be Titled “Taming of the Shrew”
Palm Beach, FL – (SatireWorld.com) Gaines Publications announced today that, contrary to popular rumor, the autobiography of Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz will not be titled “Taming of the Shrew.” The book, which covers the years of the current Democratic Party Chairman while she was a student at The University of Florida, is expected to be [...]
Full StoryBy Presidential Order, Nebraska’s Largest City to Change Name to “Obamaha”
Omaha, NE – (SatireWorld.com) Effective April 1st, the city of Omaha, Nebraska will undergo a slight change. Two letters will be added to the name to make it “Obamaha, Nebraska” in honor of the President of the United States.
Full StoryY.M.C.A. to Change Name to Young Men’s Christian Militia
Beaver Tail, WA – (SatireWorld.com0 The Y.M.C.A., an organization founded in 1844, is going to change it’s name in the United States in order to help members defend their 2nd Amendment rights. The group, which was founded on the principles of developing a healthy mind, body, and spirit, believes that these must also be protected.
Full Story“Portsmouth Peckerhead” Joins United Kingdom’s Most Wanted List
Portsmouth (UK)- (SatireWorld.com) Scotland Yard has added the infamous “Portsmouth Peckerhead” to their list of the United Kingdom’s Ten Most Wanted List. The criminal, also known as Harold Worth, Ian Skoob, Skoob1999, Lucifer, Mrs. Kensington, Martin Shuttlecock, and Bookseller, is wanted for several crimes all over the United Kingdom.
Full StoryObama Demands National Zoo Exhibit Gummi Bears
Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) Fresh from the heels of a State Trip (family vacation) to Germany, President Obama announced that he feels the National Zoo in Washington D.C. needs to become more international. The President stated that the Zoo needs to add other animals such as Gummi Bears to their exhibits.
Full StoryChris Christie Resigns as New Jersey Governor to be White House Taste Tester
Trenton, NJ – (SatireWorld.com) Chris Christie, the Republican Governor of New Jersey, has announced that he will resign his position to become the official taster for the Obama White House. Christie said that he was frustrated with his inability to make the all-you-can-eat buffet the official lunch of his state and to install one in [...]
Full StoryNew Pope Francis Actually Love Child of Evita Peron
Vatican City, Rome – (SatireWorld.com) Don’t cry for him, Argentina. This publication has just learned that Pope Francis (Jorge Mario Bergoglio) is actually the love child of former Argentine politician Eva Peron.
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I was watching this commercial for this show the other night called Honey Boo Boo. I never saw Yogi Bear a single time and there wasn’t even Boo Boo, Cindy Bear, or Mr. Ranger. Can I sue for false advertising? Harry Thumper, Bellybutton, Alabama Dear Harry, Dumbass! It’s another stupid reality [...]
Full StoryStudies Funded By Stimulus Plan Show Positive Correlation To Long Suggested Theorems
White House Rose Garden – (SatireWorld.com) President Barack Obama boasted in Washington D.C. that studies funded by his 2010 Stimulus Plan have proven that long suspected theories were actually correct. From an impromptu news conference from the Rose Garden, the President was puffed up with pride, seemingly wanting to show Republicans that he was right [...]
Full StoryCollege of Cardinals Announces First Black Pope
Vatican City, Rome – (SatireWorld.com) The College of Cardinals in Vatican City announced the first Black Pope of the Catholic Church. There was speculation that they might break from tradition and choose a black Cardinal, but the black Cardinal that they chose surprised everyone. Larry Fitzgerald, wide receiver and all pro with the Arizona Cardinals, [...]
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