Archive for 'Lead Story'
After Reading Facebook Valued At $95 Billion, Internet Inventor Al Gore Sues For Unpaid Royalties
Oakridge, TN – (SatireWorld.com) Former United States Vice President and Internet inventor Al Gore filed a lawsuit today in Federal Court against Facebook. Gore claims that the social networking giant, which was recently valued at $95 billion, has never paid him the 2% royalty that he should be receiving.
Full Story5,000 Moslems in England To Move To Falkland Islands
London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Slightly over 5000 British Moslems, most of whom were born in the Middle East, have announced plans to relocate to the Falkland Islands. As the current population of the Falklands is less than 3200, this will give the area a new look and a new majority culture.
Full StoryEnglish Courts Rule That Despite Sharia Law, Sheep Will Not Be Permitted To Compete In Miss London Competition
London (UK)-(SatireWorld.com) A court decision in London has caused massive unrest among the city’s growing Moslem/Muslim population. Several native Arabs marched on the streets in their neighborhoods protesting what they say is a racial and religious slur by English courts. At issue is the ability of sheep to be entered into the Miss London competition [...]
Full StoryIranian Rear Admiral Threatens New York City With Iran’s Warships
Tehran, Iran – (SatireWorld.com) The Islamic Republic of Iran said Tuesday that it has the ability to position a naval vessel within three miles of the East Coast of the United States.
Full StoryNew National Holiday, Star Wars Day, Announced for May 4th By Congress
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The United States Congress has voted that May 4th (which falls on a Friday this year) will become a new National Holiday. This day, to be called Star Wars Day, will be observed as other holidays are, with the closing of banks, schools, post offices, and non-essential Government offices. Other non-essential [...]
Full StoryCancellation of IMDb Daily Poll Causes Rioting, Hunger Strikes, Suicides
Las Cruces,NM – (SatireWorld.com) Late last week, the Internet Movie DataBase (IMDb) stopped placing their daily poll and daily quote/trivia on their homepage on the web. Instead, they told readers that these items could now be found on their Facebook page. Loss of the daily poll, which generally brought about 20,000 voters (world wide) to [...]
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, It seems like life ain’t fair if’n yer a straight, white, Christian feller.
Full StoryObama Administration To Remove White House Rose Garden and Install Presidential Swimming Pool and Hot Tub
The White House – (SatireWorld.com) The Obama Administration announced that a major remodeling and renovation of the White House grounds will take place this spring and summer. The Rose Garden, a fixture since being planted during the Woodrow Wilson administration, will be removed to install an in-ground fiberglass pool and hot tub. A charcoal grill [...]
Full StoryMichelle Obama Promises Not To Wear Thong Bikini To Beach Again This Year
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) First Lady Michelle Obama promised that she would not wear a thong bikini on the beach during her summer vacation this year, as she did last year on her trip to Martha’s Vineyard. The news caused swimsuit manufacturers and tentmakers to scramble to be the company to provide Mrs. Obama with [...]
Full StoryFacebook To Take Control Of United States Elections In 2014
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Beginning with the 2014 mid-term elections, Facebook will take over the voting and poll stations in the United States. Instead of voters having to leave their homes and drive to their local school, fire station, city hall, or other building to vote, they will be able to log on to their [...]
Full StoryDeaf Groups Protest Chocolate Easter Bunny Laws
Lavonia, MI – (SatireWorld.com) Laws in some states requiring chocolate Easter bunnies to be eaten ears first are being protested by several deaf and hard of hearing groups. They find these rules to be discriminatory and feel that they demean the very real disabilities of those with hearing loss.
Full StoryTheologists Prove Satan Is A Bull Dyke Lesbian
Lebanon, TN – (SatireWorld.com) A representative group from The National Council of Christians and Jews revealed today that a multi-religious investigating committee investigating Satan has determined that the Devil is actually a woman. The group, comprised of doctrinal scholars of several major churches, revealed their findings at a press conference on Good Friday.
Full StorySupreme Court Rules Forcing Men To Watch Chick Flicks Is Cruel and Unusual Punishment
Supreme Court-(SatireWorld.com) In a vote that followed gender lines (straight males and Obama appointed Lesbians in the majority, women in the minority), the Supreme Court voted 7 – 2 that forcing men to view female romantic movies (a.k.a. “chick flicks”) can be termed as “cruel and unusual punishment.” If the man is a straight and [...]
Full Story“The Banana Split Diet” Newest Craze Sweeping Nation
Morgan City, KS – (SatireWorld.com) Gary Southland never expected his Banana Split Diet to become so popular. In fact, he kind of thought that he would be the only person to try it. However, the success of the Banana Split Diet has people comparing it to Adkins, the Jared Fogle Subway Diet, the Pritkin Plan, [...]
Full StoryBlack Book Burning Includes Copies of Webster’s Dictionary
Birmingham, AL – (SatireWorld.com) Blacks throughout Alabama have initiated a book burning of the latest tome they consider to be racist. Today, it is copies of all editions of the Miriam Webster dictionary.
Full StoryLiberals Up In Arms As Gay Black Moslem Illegal Immigrant Charged With Hate Crimes
Savannah, GA – (SatireWorld.com) Liberals are up in arms as one of their favorite, pet laws is seemingly being used against them. On January 18th, Mutumbo Mogumba, a gay, black, Moslem, illegal alien from Kenya (who claims to be a cousin of President Obama), drove a bus through a youth KKK rally outside of Savannah, [...]
Full StoryFormer Terrorist Given S.B.A. Loan Under Obama Stimulus Plan
A former Lieutenant in the Taliban, recently released after serving five years in prison, has opened a new local eatery. The Taliban Pizza Man offers dine-in, take-out, and delivery service from it’s new location on Main Street (just south of the Post Office).
Full StoryFlags At Half Mast In Middle East Following Whitney Houston’s Death
Tehran, Iran – (SatireWorld.com) For the first time in recorded history, the Moslem nations of the middle east (which is basically everybody but Israel) have all lowered their flags to half mast at the death of a woman. Even more surprising is that this is an American woman and a black woman and an entertainer! [...]
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