Archive for 'Lead Story'

Chelsea Clinton: Abortions Have Helped US Economy

New York City, NY- (satireworld.com) NINCOMPOOP REPORT Chelsea Clinton praised the Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision of 1973 that legalized abortion on Saturday,then backtracked claiming abortion were available seven-days a week. Embarrassed by the gaffe, Clinton went on saying abortions helped add $3.5 trillion to the U.S. economy. Chelsea, the only child of Hillary […]

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Hillary Now Blames 2016 Loss On Lack Of Male Heir

New York City, NY – Hillary Clinton excuse number 74 (we know you’ve been counting) as to why her 2016 presidential campaign imploded during voting and underdog Donald Trump won….The new excuse that has people’s heads churning even more in disbelief is…Her lack of a male heir.

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1500 Mile Appalachian Trail Paved Bike Path Gets EPA Thumbs Up

Washington, DC – Policy changes in national parks primitive area usage rested upon a pending decision by both the EPA and Interior Department over allowing full access to natural trail systems by handicapped and other physically limited users.

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USPS- Barack Obama Era Commemorative Stamp Now On Sale

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) The United States Postal Service announced today that the long overdue commemorative stamp issue celebrating the two-term presidency of Barack Obama are now on sale at most USPS locations.

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Ted Kennedy Memorial Aquarium Opens Today in Chappaquiddick, Massachusetts

(satireworld.com) It only took about 50 years of enduring various hard-handed tactics and immense political pressure by the Kennedy clan to keep the secret buried, but today the truth finally appears to be out in public with the grand opening of the Ted Kennedy Memorial Aquarium and the simultaneous opening of the Hollywood-inspired motion picture […]

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Feeling News Savvy? Take Our Gullible Media Lapdog Quiz

The Satire World Political Quiz The rules are simple. We will give you a quote and you have to guess what great American said it. Your four choices are Ex-President Barack Obama, Ex-President George W. Bush, former Vice President Dan Quayle, or former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. Good Luck…

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Spellchecker Bug Behind White House Staffer’s Bum Rush Booting?

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) A computer bug may be in the frame behind the sudden, unexplained firing of Omarosa Manigault Newman, defunct White House Office of Public Liaison communications director, according to latest SatireWorld reports.

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Commentary: These Cultural Appropriation Moms Vote!

Moms are freaking out that ‘Moana’ costume is ‘cultural appropriation’ By Jane Ridley, NY Post, October 16, 2017 | 4:51 pm | Updated The scariest thing this Halloween for New York moms isn’t zombies or ghouls — it’s politically incorrect costumes.

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Blountstown Florida’s Gold Strike Adds Scores of New Millionaires

Blountstown, FL – (satireworld.com) The Blountstown Chamber of Commerce released a long anticipated report concerning the effects and repercussions the recent discovery of multiple gold deposits have had on the small rural Florida panhandle community. Massive nuggets and almost pure gold flakes have placed the once sleepy Florida town on the map of richest places […]

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Trump Win For The Little Guy

New York Post author: Michael Goodwin And so this is how the Obama era of Hope & Change really ends. With the world turned upside down, and with President Obama having to pass the baton to Donald Trump. That is going to be one helluva inauguration.

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World War II Japanese Army Unit Finally Surrenders in Philippine’s Jungle Hideout

Manila, Philippines – (SatireWorld.com) Back pay mathematics is going to be a real tough chore for the Japanese Army paymaster to estimate in the next few months. Especially paychecks for the 134 men who’ve been on continuous combat duty in the mountains of the Philippines since 1944.

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Political Correctness and Chicago’s Inner City Schools

Chicago IL – (satireworld.com) Todd Starnes of Fox News writes, “If the progressive academic radicals at Princeton University have their way, the New Jersey school will soon be man-free.” The private university wants to eradicate the word “man” from its vocabulary. It’s all part of an effort to get folks to start using “gender inclusive […]

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BATF Employee Admits Masturbating While On The Job Preparing Illegal Gun Owner Lists

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) A senior official at the Bureau of Alcohol,Tobacco,and Firearms Office of Inspector General testified Wednesday that a a 57 year old career BATF official stored thousands of illegal gun owner records on file on his government computer, and has admitted to watching porn and ‘choking-the-chicken a lot’ while at work, sometimes […]

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Hillary Riding High As DNC Paints Rosy Picture Of Her Past ‘Military Service’ and Arkansas ‘Beauty Pageant’ Winnings

Philadelphia, PA – (satireworld.com) Just How Stupid Does Hillary Think Voters Are? The Democratic National Convention kicked off today with swirling rumors there was collusion between Debbie Wasserman-Schultz emails and Hillary Clinton concerning the sabotage of the Bernie Sanders Presidential campaign. This accusation highlights the unfair Clinton advantage that cost millions of dollars from Bernie […]

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Vince Foster ‘Found Out Something Disgusting About Al Gore’: Report

New York – (Satireworld.com) “Just ONE thing? Must have been a lousy lawyer – or numerically dyslectic!” That’s an investigator’s considered opinion about recent headlines describing how former Clinton White House deputy legal counsel and ex-Rose Law partner Vince Foster was discovered RIP at a Fort Marcy Park, Virginia, parking lot in a classic, two-bullet […]

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Hillary Channels President Frump

New York – (Satireworld.com) – A bomb has gone off in the DNC schmatta closet this weekend as presidential wannabe Hillary Clinton stepped out in her latest frock horror, a natty Oscar de la Rent Boy two-piece from the designer’s Summer 2016 Shortarse Collection.

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Clitoris Foundation curbs foreign donors

New York – (Satireworld.com): The wannabe Madam President’s charitable organ has been blasted for accepting $$$s from foreign sperm donors with terrible human frights records – including ‘Philosophy of the World’ albums by The Shaggs (1969).

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Obama Warns Trump: “This Ain’t No Party, This Ain’t No Disco”

WASHINGTON – (satireworld.com) President Obama lectured reporters and Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump today that the presidency is a serious job, and not just some reality show.

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Democrats Furious When Boehner Compares Cruz to The Dark Lord

Diablo, CA – (satireworld.com) Wednesday night, former House Speaker John Boehner bluntly called GOP candidate Ted Cruz “Lucifer in the flesh.” When asked for his opinion about the Texas senator, Boehner said, “I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son […]

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Obama’s 7 Deadly Sins (Posted on January 13, 2016 by John Myers, Personal Liberty Digest)

There are two kinds of pride, both good and bad. “Good pride” represents our dignity and self-respect. “Bad pride” is the deadly sin of superiority that reeks of conceit and arrogance. — John C. Maxwell, American author

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Obama vows to increase unemployment to curb workplace violence!!

The White House – (satireworld.com) On his national address scheduled for later in the day from the White House the President is ready to unleash his latest plan to thwart ISIS and radical terrorism by increasing American unemployment to reduce the amount of workplace violence blamed for the recent bloodbaths around America!

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Editorial: Failed President Obama’s Legacy

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) Failed President Barack Obama is a Democratic Marxist empty suit, former Chicago community organizer and divider of White and Black US citizens (race card player). This president won’t say “Islamic terrorism,” while Americans of all faiths were killed on American soil in an Islamic terrorist attack in San Bernardino, California.

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I just lost another Facebook friend

I just lost another Facebook friend. (satireworld.com) She started a diatribe defending Obama and saying how much he loved this country and how much he was doing for this country. She said that people who opposed him were just selfish and looking out for themselves (which is the definition of selfish, but I didn’t point […]

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Editor’s Sunday Rant….

Bargis Tryhol’s rant for Sunday……….. You listening McConnel and Bohner? As a candidate we need someone who says ‘we’re sick and tired and we’re not going to take it anymore’ and means it! Someone who snaps back at a reporter’s slanted question. Someone who just ‘tells it like it is’ without the spin and bullcrap. […]

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Hillary’s Test Results In; Allergic to Reporters, Everyday Americans

BROOKLYN  – (satireworld.com) The Hillary Clinton campaign has acknowledged what many have suspected – the former First Lady is allergic to journalists and American peasants. Skin tests were conducted at Johns Hopkins last week and the results were made public today. The diagnosis seems to explain Mrs. Clinton’s avoidance of all those not already within […]

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Oklahoma vs Illinois…A Comparision of Right versus the Corrupt

Illinois and Oklahoma : Look at these two states,it makes for an interesting contrast. The first part is about Illinois and the second part is about Oklahoma!

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Black Power by Fred Reed

Black Power A Done Deal Fred Reed As I write America waits, again, to see whether blacks will riot, this time in Ferguson. Will they loot, burn, kill, and rape? The usual? The police in Ferguson prepare to protect stores from looters, as rioters seem to regard their insurrections as shopping opportunities. Will it come, […]

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Michelle Obama to Replace High Calorie Milk and Juices on School Lunches With Diet Water

The White House – (satireworld.com) Michelle Obama, the self appointed School Lunch Czarina, has made another change in what the children will be permitted to eat.  The First Lady has decided to replace the highly expensive and high calorie milk and/or fruit juice with diet water.

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After F.C.C. Rules “Truth in Advertising” Laws Apply to Political Ads, Politicians Scramble to Overturn Law

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) The Federal Communications Commission ruled today the “Truth in Advertising” laws must also be applied and enforced on all political advertisements and commercials.  The political scramble in Washington D.C. and other major cities was quick and decisive as:

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Entire Satireworld Staff Hunting for Alleged Sniper

Orlando, FL – (satireworld.com) Recently, a story was posted on Satireworld with instructions to attempt to find a sniper.  This reporter took it upon himself to do just that.  Another staff writer, Philbert of Macademia, volunteered his help and assistance in locating the shooter.

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