Archive for 'Lead Story'

Classic Chuck Norris Film “Good Guys Wear Black” to have Politically Correct Remake

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com) 1978’s Chuck Norris action film “Good Guys Wear Black” will have a politically correct remake scheduled for release in two years as a holiday film.  The new movie, titled “Good Guys Wear Black Fishnet Stockings,” is scheduled to being filming next summer in San Francisco, California.

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Woman Reveals She Was With Kavanaugh the Night Christine Blasey Ford Testified About

Dubsdread, OH – (satireworld.com) An Ohio woman has revealed that, “according to the records in my journal,” she was actually having sex with Brett Kavanaugh on the night Christine Blasey Ford claims he tried to rape her.  Mary Jane Rottencrotch said that “I wrote everything down, I have pictures, and I can tell you where […]

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Senator Chuck Revealed to be Owner of Schumer’s Bloomers

Brooklyn, NY – (satireworld.com) The source of the Schumer family fortune has been found with the discovery that New York Democratic Senator Charles Ellis “Chuck” Schumer is secretly the owner of Schumer’s Bloomers, a woman’s lingerie store located throughout Western Europe.  Not only is the Senator the owner, but is also the President, founder, designer, […]

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500+ at California Nude Beach Commit Self Mutilation

San Diego, CA – (satireworld.com) Over five hundred people at a San Diego Nude Beach cut, poked, gouged out, stabbed, and mutilated their eyes in multiple ways to purposefully lose their vision.  These acts of personal blinding are blamed on Senator Dianne Feinstein (one of California’s famed Trio of Terror) showing up and disrobing on […]

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Swing City in Arkansas Elects Republican Mayor With 95% of the Vote

Camel Tie Ridge, Arkansas – (satireworld.com) Farley Dickerson was elected mayor of Camel Toe Ridge, Arkansas with a whopping 95% of the vote.  Camel Toe Ridge, the seat of Snatch County, is considered a pivotal “swing” city for indicating the vote in the national election.

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Liberal Democratic Senators Smell Up Judiciary Hearing Rooms

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The hearing rooms where the Senate Judiciary Committee meets, both the large and small conference areas, have been closed for maintenance. A foul smell was left by the smear campaign carried out by the 10 committee Democrats questioning Judge Kavanaugh on his confirmation to be an Associate Justice of the Supreme […]

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California’s Trio of Terror Upset People Confusing Them With Horror Movie Characters

California, USA – (satireworld.com) They are not Freddy Kruger, Jason Vorhees, and Pinhead.  They are not Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Mummy.  They are not the Predator, the Alien, and Darth Vader.  They are also not Godzilla, King Kong, and Mothra.  You’d also be wrong with The Wolfman, Chucky the Killer Doll, and Michael Myers.  Dianne […]

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Ivana Phuque and Nastia Phuque to Compete Together as Tennis Doubles on Tour

Stockholm, Sweden – (satireworld.com) Olympic and world champion (Speed skating and pole vault) Ivana Phuque and her sister-in-law Nastia Phuque (a five time Olympic medalist and world champion in gymnastics  herself) have announced their intention to compete as a doubles team on the tennis tour.  Ivana, who previously said that she would compete on the […]

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Alyssa Milano Admits She Was Trying to Increase Her Fifteen Minutes of Fame

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com) Actress Alyssa Milano, who has not been really relevant since starring in Charmed and Who’s the Boss, tried to reinvent her fifteen minutes of fame last week by appearing nearly topless at the Brett Kavanaugh Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings.  Milano, who stated that she was there to support the female accuser […]

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C.D.C. Commissions Study On Effects Of Drinking From Toilets On Dogs

Atlanta, GA – (satireworld.com) The Centers for Disease Control (C.D.C.) has contributed two billion dollars to Georgia Tech University to study the effects of drinking from a toilet on dogs.  The research, to be conducted with several breeds of dogs over five years and in multiple locations, will examine the physical health of the canines, as […]

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Gay Pride Marchers Beat Two Men To Death For Not Standing For Rainbow Flag

Denver, CO – (satireworld.com) A gay pride march turned violent in Colorado yesterday when two men were beaten to death for not standing when the rainbow flag was carried past them.  Travis Johnson (black heterosexual) and Jack Swanson (white heterosexual) were sitting outside their business (Johnson and Swanson Barber Shop) eating their lunch in Denver […]

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Iranian Ayatollah Demands No One Draw or Take His Picture

Tehran, Iran – (satireworld.com) Iranian Ayatollah Smella Buttholla has demanded that, like Muhammad, no one is to take his picture or to draw/paint/sculpt a caricature or portrait of him.  Buttholla feels that, to attempt to emulate the Islamic prophet, one must act like and be treated like the prophet.

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LGBTQ To Found Own Version of Cub Scouts Called Rump Rangers

Spokane, WA – (satireworldf.com) Following the tradition of youth groups such as the Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts, the Junior Birdmen, and the Campfire Girls, the national LGBTQ organization has announced that they will found their own version of the Cub Scouts and Brownies for both boys and girls.  The new group will be called […]

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More Kavanaugh Accusations Revealed

Washington, DC – (satitreworld.com) After the initial three allegations were revealed over a few weeks, a startling number of allegations against Supreme Court Nominee Brett Kavanaugh were revealed just today.  Those allegations include:

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Anthony Weiner Announces Penis Enhancement Surgery Successful

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) Democratic Politician Anthony Weiner, former member of the House of Representatives and mayoral candidate from New York City, has announced that his penis enhancement surgery was “more than successful!”  Weiner, who is currently in prison for child pornography charges due to a year long sexting scandal with a 15 […]

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F.D.A. To Fund Study To Discover The Way The Cookie Crumbles

Palo Alto, CA – (satireworld.com) “That’s the way the cookie crumbles” is an expression that has been around since the 1920’s.  The exact origin of the phrase is unknown, but it is used as another way to say “that’s life.”  Researchers at Stanford University have received a three billion dollar grant from the Food and […]

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“Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong” Is New Iranian National Anthem

Tehran,Iran: Word from the Middle East today reports that the country of Iran has named a variation of the old Edsel’s doo-wop song as their new national anthem.  “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong,” a modified version of “Rama Lama Ding Dong,” will now be the country’s official song and will be played at the Olympics (should […]

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Chelsea Clinton: Abortions Have Helped US Economy

New York City, NY- (satireworld.com) NINCOMPOOP REPORT Chelsea Clinton praised the Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision of 1973 that legalized abortion on Saturday,then backtracked claiming abortion were available seven-days a week. Embarrassed by the gaffe, Clinton went on saying abortions helped add $3.5 trillion to the U.S. economy. Chelsea, the only child of Hillary […]

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Hillary Now Blames 2016 Loss On Lack Of Male Heir

New York City, NY – Hillary Clinton excuse number 74 (we know you’ve been counting) as to why her 2016 presidential campaign imploded during voting and underdog Donald Trump won….The new excuse that has people’s heads churning even more in disbelief is…Her lack of a male heir.

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1500 Mile Appalachian Trail Paved Bike Path Gets EPA Thumbs Up

Washington, DC – Policy changes in national parks primitive area usage rested upon a pending decision by both the EPA and Interior Department over allowing full access to natural trail systems by handicapped and other physically limited users.

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USPS- Barack Obama Era Commemorative Stamp Now On Sale

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) The United States Postal Service announced today that the long overdue commemorative stamp issue celebrating the two-term presidency of Barack Obama are now on sale at most USPS locations.

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Ted Kennedy Memorial Aquarium Opens Today in Chappaquiddick, Massachusetts

(satireworld.com) It only took about 50 years of enduring various hard-handed tactics and immense political pressure by the Kennedy clan to keep the secret buried, but today the truth finally appears to be out in public with the grand opening of the Ted Kennedy Memorial Aquarium and the simultaneous opening of the Hollywood-inspired motion picture […]

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Feeling News Savvy? Take Our Gullible Media Lapdog Quiz

The Satire World Political Quiz The rules are simple. We will give you a quote and you have to guess what great American said it. Your four choices are Ex-President Barack Obama, Ex-President George W. Bush, former Vice President Dan Quayle, or former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. Good Luck…

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Spellchecker Bug Behind White House Staffer’s Bum Rush Booting?

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) A computer bug may be in the frame behind the sudden, unexplained firing of Omarosa Manigault Newman, defunct White House Office of Public Liaison communications director, according to latest SatireWorld reports.

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Commentary: These Cultural Appropriation Moms Vote!

Moms are freaking out that ‘Moana’ costume is ‘cultural appropriation’ By Jane Ridley, NY Post, October 16, 2017 | 4:51 pm | Updated The scariest thing this Halloween for New York moms isn’t zombies or ghouls — it’s politically incorrect costumes.

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Blountstown Florida’s Gold Strike Adds Scores of New Millionaires

Blountstown, FL – (satireworld.com) The Blountstown Chamber of Commerce released a long anticipated report concerning the effects and repercussions the recent discovery of multiple gold deposits have had on the small rural Florida panhandle community. Massive nuggets and almost pure gold flakes have placed the once sleepy Florida town on the map of richest places […]

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Trump Win For The Little Guy

New York Post author: Michael Goodwin And so this is how the Obama era of Hope & Change really ends. With the world turned upside down, and with President Obama having to pass the baton to Donald Trump. That is going to be one helluva inauguration.

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World War II Japanese Army Unit Finally Surrenders in Philippine’s Jungle Hideout

Manila, Philippines – (SatireWorld.com) Back pay mathematics is going to be a real tough chore for the Japanese Army paymaster to estimate in the next few months. Especially paychecks for the 134 men who’ve been on continuous combat duty in the mountains of the Philippines since 1944.

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Political Correctness and Chicago’s Inner City Schools

Chicago IL – (satireworld.com) Todd Starnes of Fox News writes, “If the progressive academic radicals at Princeton University have their way, the New Jersey school will soon be man-free.” The private university wants to eradicate the word “man” from its vocabulary. It’s all part of an effort to get folks to start using “gender inclusive […]

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BATF Employee Admits Masturbating While On The Job Preparing Illegal Gun Owner Lists

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) A senior official at the Bureau of Alcohol,Tobacco,and Firearms Office of Inspector General testified Wednesday that a a 57 year old career BATF official stored thousands of illegal gun owner records on file on his government computer, and has admitted to watching porn and ‘choking-the-chicken a lot’ while at work, sometimes […]

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