by Bargis on 13/01/11 at 12:39 pm
The recent find of a complete fossilized skeleton of a reported to be over 47 million years old. Thru DNA testing the remains has been traced to the Omen’s Damien Thorn’s birth mother, Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi.
In the Omen trilogy, the lead character, Damien Thorn, is brought into this world by a sexual liaison between the Devil himself and a earthly creature that wasn’t human but more of an animal. Researchers believe the remains are that creature simply because of the fossilized box of candy and dried bouquet of flowers found along with the bones.
The Devil, a romancer of sorts with a proclivity toward svelte jackals, and women with big breasts and low credit scores, reportedly wanted an offspring to be born with hopes that he will live up to the Devil’s own reputation of screwing over humans for their souls and raising credit card interest charges.
Scientist’s are baffled as to what to do with the remains which many wish to be rid of it. Others want to sell pieces on eBay, a popular online auction house. Several occult groups have showed interest, but bidding has been low.
Others have suggested it run for Congress as a liberal Democrat from Northern California.
More news at 11!