As Waves Pound New Jersey Coast MTV’s ‘Snooki’ Feared Washed Out To Sea

by on 27/08/11 at 5:20 am

Snooki, who claims she can swallow a pickle whole and still breathe, is believed lost at sea.Seaside Heights, New Jersey – (SatireWorld.com)

As the vicious waves pounded the dunes and boardwalk at famous Seaside Heights, the MTV home of the cast of Jersey Shore was demolished by 24 foot waves and swept out to sea. Previously thought abandoned by an order to evacuate all low lying areas, officials conceeded that one of the cast members, diminitive Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi was probably inside with another un-named male person. Police have suspended the search until after weather conditions improve.

Witnesses reported seeing Snooki and an unidentified Italian male leaving a local club near closing hours and shortly before a mandatory evacuation deadline was to go into effect. Club patron Maria Mandeletti said, ” Dey left to git sum kaw-fee and prob’lee go ova to her place.”

Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi is a cast member of MTV’s biggest reality series ‘Jersey Shore’ which features an all Italian cast who’s personal lives spike up ratings and drive down respect for American-Italian culture by viewers who are in the coveted 18-35 year old demographics.

The popular show spiked recent ratings to an all time high when newlyweds Prince William and his wife Kate visited the show for a two-day guest appearance where ther Royal Couple hung out, ate pizza, drank Rolling Rock beer, and watched fellow cast member Vinny D’Angelo pop zits and light beer farts. One particular scene shows Kate giggling when one potential flaming fart unexpectedly (what Vinny calleed ‘a wet one’) put out the match and stained Prince William’s tennis shoe. The Prince declined to participate.

BREAKING NEWS:
Coast Guard helicopters reported a substantial oil slick 5 miles out from where the cast member house stood and are dispatching a cutter and barge to the location in a recovery operation.

More news as we get it.



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