Turdblossoms Celebrate 60th Wedding Anniversary With Local Celebration

by on 23/03/12 at 6:41 am

Photo circa 1952. The newly married Throckmortons pose at Nellie's Bait 'n Tackle shop after the wedding ceremony. Throcky was home on R & R leave from the armed forces after failing a 'short-arm inspection' for the 6th time.

Spinster Holler, AL – (SatireWorld.com)

The folks down at Lucinda’s Chat ‘n Chew filled every seat as locals crowded the into the popular Spinster Holler cafe hoping to celebrate along with the Turdblossoms. The party was for their 60th Wedding Anniversay and was held late Monday afternoon.

Throckmorton and Edna (ne: Lipshitz) married while ‘Throcky’ was home on leave from the service during the Korean conflict in Asia. They met at Skinny Baxter’s Arthur Murray Studios down on Agusta Street for a square dance social and punch. Two weeks later they were married at the Shiloah Baptist Church on Lake Monroe by Preacher Amos T. Flahertty.

As most longtime residents will recall, Edna Lipshitz is the daughter of ‘Doc’ Lipshitz who had his hemmorhoid and vasectomy clinic over on Broadway and Main for over 45 years until the state tragically revoked his license over some exxagerated ‘gelding incident’ in 1977.

Throcky often smiles as he foundly relates the first time he ‘got into Edna’s bloomers back in 1952’…. “We wuz down at Pappy Morgan’s and ‘ol Pappy brings us out a mason jar of his finest Branch Bitters. We sat a spell and had us a few chugs and a Slim Jim or two, then me and Edna took us a walk down to the barn fer a little roll in the hay.”

Throckmorton P. Turdblossom once worked as a lead writer for the Hogjaw Guardian and Executioner for over 35 years until Spinster’s Holler only paper folded in early 1982. Afterwards, Turdblossom had a number of jobs including a local milkman, a reporter for MSNBC, a brothel inspector up in Memphis, and as a advice column writer for a syndicated news service.

Edna worked for years along with her father Dr. Lipshitz where she gave her father a hand with vasectomys and an occasional hemmorhoidectomy.

Early Monday the Turdblossoms left for an extended vacation at the resort at Drippy Dick Springs in southern Missouri.

One Response to “Turdblossoms Celebrate 60th Wedding Anniversary With Local Celebration”

  1. Captain america

    Mar 23rd, 2012

    …you forgot her gig as a Kripy Kreme spokesperson…!

Leave a Reply