Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”

by on 25/08/13 at 1:27 pm

Jane Fonda gets real friendly with a North Vietnamese anti-airctraft crew. Later, Jane and the crew  threw darts at a photo of Richard Nixon.

Jane Fonda gets real friendly with a North Vietnamese anti-airctraft crew. Later, Jane and the crew threw darts at a photo of Richard Nixon.

Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom,

I got me some questions about this new movie called “The Butler.”

1.  There is a movie theatre owner that is refusing to show this film because it has Hanoi Jane in it playing Nancy Reagan.  The theater owner is a Vietnam Vet and thinks, like everyone else with a brain, that Ms. Fonda is a traitor who should be in jail.  Now… how come every news outlet that shows this story shows pictures of the black stars (like Oprah or Forrest Whitaker) and tries to make it sound like it is a racial thing?  Once you read the story, you know it’s about treason.  Why do they have to try to make it all look like race baiting?

2.  The same movie is being advertised as “Lee Daniel’ The Butler.”  Who the hell is Lee Daniels?  I can understand maybe some famous director like Spielberg or Hitchcock or John Ford or Scorcese putting their name in front of something, but Lee Daniels?  I looked this flunky up and he’s only directed three films before this one.  So… why does this idiot get off putting his name in front of the title of the movie?

Henry Thurgood   Marshall, Texas

Dear Henry,

Let’s look at your questions one at a time:

1.  The current media refuses to believe that Hollywood Royalty Jane Fonda is guilty of treason.  They actually believe her when she says that she didn’t know that she was riding an anti-aircraft gun that shot down American planes and such.  They have to turn to the race issue because that is their bread and butter (like Keith Olbermann saying that the only reason a person wouldn’t vote for Obama was because they were a racist). 

2.  Lee Daniels got nominated for an Academy award for Precious.  That is the horrible movie about an unlikeable fat girl who just happened to be black.  The movie got lots of Oscar nominations because it was the token minority film for that year.  Daniels is trying to say that he had to put his name in front of the movie so that folks wouldn’t be confused between that and another silent film made in the 20’s also titled The Butler.  That’s a load of crap!  Know how many movies titled “Go West” there are?  At least four of them, and they ain’t remakes of each other.  All you have to do is remember that one of these movies has sound and the other is silent and one is about a butler in the White House and the other one isn’t.  It ain’t no big deal.  What this all boils down to is an ego thing; Daniels must think he’s the next Spike Lee.

Throckmorton P. Turdblossom

Today’s Observation from Throckmorton P. Turdblossom:  Football season for the NCAA starts Thursday.  I was getting pretty tired of hearing sports stories about Tiger Woods and the WNBA.  At least it’s time for real sports again!

2 Responses to “Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column””

  1. captain america

    Aug 25th, 2013

    Welcome back Throcky!

    Just today asked the editor if you were off on medical leave for a gender reassignment!!!

    Yup…big news as the season opens…Chelsea Clinton Manning
    announced she’s coming out for Man U as soon as she gets
    neutered….who knew, eh??

    Maybe we should send ‘her’ dork to the UK…a few guys I know could use one…just sayin’

  2. captain america

    Aug 25th, 2013

    hey…I wasn’t finished!

    All them llibs forget that Vietnam was JFK’s war, and if it couldn’t get any worse they then had LBJ, McNamara and Westmoreland really
    F****it up…..and Cronkite put the final nail in 50,000 coffins…

    well, it’s all good now, Ho Chi Min city is a great destination
    for a good time….DNC should hold their next presidential
    convention there….I’m sure all the ghosts from those years
    will be haunting the halls….too bad they can’t vote like all the dead gang bangers in Chicago….nothing black and white’s all black, all the time….

    It’s all George Washington’s fault….racist terrorist bastard!

    What difference does it make NOW…eh?

Leave a Reply