Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”

by on 19/09/13 at 6:08 am

After almost 14 hours of steady dildoing with her plutonium-powered dildo, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz noticed her hair was curlier than usual, but felt horrified when she dfiscovered her  chipped front teeth.

After almost 14 hours of steady dildoing with her gold-plated plutonium-powered vibrating dildo, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz noticed her hair was curlier than usual, but felt horrified when she discovered her chipped front teeth.

Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom,

I understand that illegal aliens get free education, get free housing, get free welfare, get free foodstamps, get Social Security benefits, get free medical care, get driver’s licenses without going through driver’s education courses, get to vote, and DON”T get deported.  I understand that lazy bums who refuse to work get exactly the same thing.

Why the hell am I working and paying taxes when everything I need would be free if I was an illegal alien or a lazy bum?

Joe Conservative  from Responsibility, USA

Dear Joe,

Don’t quit working! Somebody’s taxes have to pay to keep Obama’s illegal relatives in government housing and they’ve also got to support all them Democratic voters.

Some countries have laws that you have to be a property owner to vote.  If we had that law and set the voting limit at “at least one acre owned free and clear,” I think the administration would actually start chopping up Yosemite and Yellowstone and Carlsbad Caverns and all of our other national parks and give away that land just to continue to buy votes (like they are doing now).

Of course, the idiot that thinks we have 57 states would probably want to chop up Jellystone Park first.  I wonder if Yogi and BooBoo would tell him that’s just animation and fantasy…. but then, his politics make about as much sense in the real world as some of them classic Saturday morning cartoons!

Yep, Joe Biden’s mouth is Quick Draw McGraw.  Michelle Obama without her makeup looks like one of them Scooby Doo monsters.  Obama himself acts a lot like Snidely Whiplash.  Of course, if we have Barack and Michelle, we should point out that Bill and Hillary could be Boris and Natasha.  The way John Kerry flip flops and bounces around on his opinions, he’d make a great “Ping! Ping! Ping!” Ricochet Rabbit!  Oprah Winfrey and Rosie O’Donnell both look an awful lot like Magilla Gorilla.  Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid and Debbie Wasserman Schultz all three kinda remind me of those hyenas in The Lion King (that one ain’t Saturday morning, but you get my point).

We won’t even begin to discuss the fantasy of his economics or budgeting or spending.  Let’s just say that anyone who ever watch Schoolhouse Rock knows that the president ain’t taken the government to even the level of “I’m just a bill” or anything meaningful.

Hopefully, we just do what television does and “cancel” this fantasy in 2014 and 2016 in the elections and then don’t allow any reruns!

TPT

Today’s Observation from Throckmorton P.  Turdblossom: If a certain animated character in the Toy Story movies had been modeled after former President Bill Clinton, I think Buzz Lightyear’s catchphrase probably would have been “To Infidelity, and Beyond!”



2 Responses to “Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column””

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Sep 19th, 2013

    “Hopefully, we just do what television does and “cancel” this fantasy in 2014 and 2016 in the elections and then don’t allow any reruns!”

    Pretty please with sugar and sprinkles on top, may the preceding statement become true.

    However, it seems the loony left wing is becoming more rabid with respect to gun control, increasing taxes, ruining the US economic engine, political correctness, being intrusive into citizen,s lives, corrupting the US political system and violating the US Constitution.

    I wonder if a one or two election cycles is enough or has another generation of ideological brainwashed lefties been created? Here in the eastern states it seems to be the case with the new generation of political candidates.

  2. Jalapenoman

    Sep 19th, 2013

    Hey Throcky,

    I wonder which politicians are best described by the cartoon characters Yippee, Yappie, and Yahooie?

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