by Jalapenoman on 12/10/13 at 12:11 pm
Fag Gut Town, NY – (SatireWoprld.com)
While the celebration was not noticed or observed by most people in the United States (unless their television news rammed it down their throats), October 11th was observed as National Coming Out Day. Many long suspected/world’s worst kept secret gays came out of the closet and revealed their sexual orientation to a mostly uncaring populace.
Administrators with LGBT centers across the country, however, were shocked and upset that Hillary Clinton and Huma Weiner declined to make their “secret” relationship public and become the poster children of the movement.
Hermana Butch of the San Francisco Center for the Superiority of Lesbian Sexual Expression said “This is just as bad for us as Oprah staying in the closet. I mean, everyone knows that all three of these women are flaming homosexuals, but they seem to think that not revealing it to the world somehow legitimizes their politics or something. It is as bad as gays like Ryan Seacrest, Tom Cruise, and Richard Gere having fake relationships with really hot women just to try to protect their popularity among conservative ticket buyers and television watchers.”
Bruce Limpwrist, a spokesman for the office of Hillary “vote for me in 2016” Clinton, said that “Hillary has been married to Bill Clinton for over 30 years and they have a child together. The very idea that they passed Monica back and forth between them during the White House years and that the only Wiener Hillary wants is Huma is just…. well, we have no comment!”
Bill Clinton responded to questions about Huma by saying a mostly familiar “I did not have sex with that woman… but Hillary did!”
A gay pride march in Philadelphia featured posters asking “When you gonna join us, Hillary?” and “Let’s make the White House the Dyke House!”
Hillary and Huma could not be reached personally for comment as spokesman Mr. Limpwrist said that they were sharing a quiet meal of oysters together and planning campaign strategies for the next presidential election.