Cases of White Guilt Skyrocket After Mostly White Oscar Nominations Announced

by on 18/01/15 at 8:27 am

In hopes of boosting black support for Hollywood,  producer Al Goldstein will release the black-themed movie 'Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids in Ferguson' which highlights a fat sexual predator as the hero of a 'let's get whitey' based script.

In hopes of boosting black support for Hollywood, producer Al Goldstein will release the black-themed movie ‘Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids in Ferguson’ which highlights a fat sexual predator as the hero of a ‘let’s get whitey’ based script.

HOLLYWOOD – (satireworld.com)

White people across America are already feeling the effects from the release of this morning’s list of Academy Award nominations for this year. Hospitals nationwide are seeing a huge uptick in cases of white guilt as white people try to grapple with the gravity of the nominations and how they can live with themselves in light of the looming awards show.

“This is ludicrousness!” shouted an angry Al Sharpton after hearing the news. “Forget the Oscar’s, they should be called the “Honkey’s,” or the “Cracka’s!” For Selma and Ms. Winfrey to not have already been awarded every award there is is blasphemous! They should call it HollyWhite!”

Sharpton continued, “The Academy is just like the Rocky Mountains – the higher you go, the whiter it gets! That reminds me, I’m filing legal action against the Rocky Mountains next week!” When asked why the NFL and NBA don’t racially represent the nation as a whole, Mr. Sharpton replied, “We’re talking about the movies, fool!”

Feminists and white liberals everywhere were wringing their hands and apologizing to every African-American they came in contact with over the perceived snub. “How can we do this to them after Ferguson and New York?” shrieked actress Lena Dunham, from the HBO show Girls. For her part, Dunham has parlayed her bizarre behavior into a 40% drop off in her show’s audience, thus ensuring a potential time-slot opening on HBO for a black-dominated show, hopefully, in the very near future.

Other guilty white people on the left have been binge-watching Roots, What’s Happening?, The Color Purple, and Remember the Titans to help themselves not feel so guilty about the nominations. Sharpton insists on rectifying the situation, even if it means starting his own academy called OBAMAS, or Only Black Actors, Movies And Shit.



2 Responses to “Cases of White Guilt Skyrocket After Mostly White Oscar Nominations Announced”

  1. Walter Bucket

    Jan 18th, 2015

    Black people can’t act, White people can’t jump and Yellow people have small dingers. It says so right there on page 12,598 in a footnote and is alluded to on page 40,768 of The Obamacare Booklet for those who don’t wish to read the whole 422,000 pages and 39878 footnotes.

    Docs and patients need to know these things before a serious treatment or operation.

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