Kardasian empire gears up for next big thing: Transgender Realty Show as Bruce steps out of the locker room and in to the waxing salon!

by on 26/04/15 at 6:31 am

Bill Chedney and David Borg say they hope to experience some of Bruce's Pole Vaulting experiences.

Bill Chedney and David Borg say they hope to experience some of Bruce’s Pole Vaulting experiences.


Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com)

Millions of voters “Ready for Hillary” were glued to their 58″ wide screen TVs as Bruce Jenner met Dianne Sawyer for the long awaited announcement that the former Olympic Decathlon star, father of 6, and Wheaties spokesman who is credited with creating the phrase heard all over school grounds: “Eat me champ, I’m a Wheatie!”

Dianne opened the interview with an ice breaker as the audience held their collective breasts (sic) cooing: “Well, Bruce, how do you think this monumental decision is going to affect the public’s perception of you?”

“Well, Dianne, a lot of who watch our family show will still think I’m a dick, but I still put my panties on one leg at a time! As my transition continues, just think of me as having ‘a pig in the blanket” and not just as a former guy who was “always happy to meet you!”

Not only do we have to deal with the Clinton Cluster for the next 18 months, we’re now going to have to put up with Bruce and family as he begins his transition from ED to PMS a midst media frenzy in attempts to capture sordid ‘up skirts’ from ‘crack’ paparazzi on the hunt for the million dollar prize winning photo!

His ex ‘wife”, who will stay on as his manager says Bruce will be the biggest thing since Lindsay Lohan as soon as his Playboy shoot hits the internet and he gets linked to dating Michael Sam, the former NFL heart throb for hundreds of UK ‘futbol” fans.

The radical surgery now leaves only Kanye West as the “last pair of balls standing up” for the Kardashian Klan as they globe trot for Peace more than Jimmy Carter!

Bruce is said to be unloading all his “boy toys” including his race cars, motorcycles, and speed boats to match his new image to include a Pink Prius, moped, sail board, and a set of roller blades when he hits Venice Beach since they just legalized topless sunbathing 19-2 in a recent town council vote.

Stay tuned for a costume malfunction when Bruce appears with Ellen on her syndicated show featuring Hollywood A-listers who are “all fruits and no nuts”



2 Responses to “Kardasian empire gears up for next big thing: Transgender Realty Show as Bruce steps out of the locker room and in to the waxing salon!”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Apr 26th, 2015

    Is the Bruce Jenner story getting out of hand and turning into a pointing finger exercise?

  2. captain america

    Apr 26th, 2015

    …if you believe in conspiracies you can figure Hillary droop
    ped this to
    take the heat off…even getting rid of Holder didn’t register on the
    seismic screen!

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