by Bargis Tryhol on 21/06/15 at 7:24 am
New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com)
Mr. Smugness, a.k.a Bill Maher, long a staple for the weak-willed who regularly view his liberal platform disguised as an HBO show and are thankful for an uninterrupted hour to rub their crotches, has suddenly come ‘out of the cave’ and revealed his ancestors were homosexual Neanderthals, not heterosexual Cro-Magnons who science now believes were the precursor of modern man. Many believe the Cro-Magnons had superior work skills and thinking abilities.
Scientists have long debated the circumstances in which modern people replaced Neanderthals across Europe about 40,000 years ago. Leading researchers in the field challenged the research methods in new studies and added that the idea of a larger population prevailing over the slow-witted and mostly gay Neanderthal is not new.
Other theories have focused on climate change, differences in Neanderthal’s ability to think rationally and other possibilities including wide-spread homosexuality practices which curtailed reproduction numbers to the extent that survivability as a species was impossible.
In the past, Maher has shown similar Neanderthal tendencies in his ability to fully grasp political concepts, realize rational thinking, and a profane lack of common sense when it comes to issues of national defense, immigration reform, and his unwavering support of liberal homosexual issues.
Scientists revealed that several likenesses of Maher have been found drawn in rudimentary paints on stone walls in southern French caves, which gives credence to the origins of modern Frenchman and the connection to the ancestry of Bill Maher.
According to a ‘close friend,’ gay playwright Edward MacAtteer, “Bill loves to draw stuff on almost any wall. I thought it was some kind of repressed artistic urge from childhood, but when Bill confined his drawings to men’s room stalls I thought it a tad odd at the time. But I must say, leaving his phone number in the stall drawings is a clever way to keep your dance card filled!”