by Harold Worth on 14/07/15 at 2:58 pm
Television City, Hollywood – (satireworld.com)
Acne sufferers rejoice! A TV show is about to debut that has you in the headlines. Popular TV show host Russell Brand announced today that auditions for Can You Pop-A-Pimple has begun at Television City in Hollywood.
Brand, a veteran of several successful game and reality shows, hit the charts last spring with his hit TV reality show ‘Do You Have A Smelly Vagina?’ in which attractive women hicked their skirts on stage and let celebrity judges get a sniff and posted their scores electronically. Sadly, the show only lasted four episodes when a group of British censors howled in protest. Brand aims to re-capture wholesome entertainment once again with CYPAP.
So far, only one eager acne sufferer has signed up for the show, but several others have expressed an interest and sent in videos.
Software designer and spoof site owner Mark Lowton from Lancaster, England, sent in a professionally done audition video complete with childhood sequences that tug at the heartstrings.
Especially heartwarming is the part where a Pit Bull viciously mauls Lowton, age 6, as he winged around the neighborhood on his little red wagon holding a soggy toasted cheese sandwich.
As highlighted at the video’s end, adult Lowton has a monster two-pound zit protruding from his greasy nose that he has nurtured since last July in anticipation of the show. In the video family members are describing how big it is and are telling stories about Lowton’s father Herb who dazzled German WWII Stalag 114 guards over the size of a pimple that nearly covered his head. It was to the point where they traded him back to British fores for a case of Polish pickles just so the ‘thing’ wouldn’t explode and contaminate the prison camp.
Lowton claims he heard about the show from friends who vigorously urged him to participate via an online application after they found him asleep on a park bench when a blind homeless man began reading his face with his fingers mistaking it for a copy of the Daily Globe braille edition.
Another certain contestant is Stuart Mitchell who claims his face has over 896 ‘zits’, many of which have reached the dreaded ‘Ponderous Pimple’ stage. The deciding question for Mitchell during the applicant screening process…What was question 14 where he was asked the difference between his acne and a Catholic priest? Mitchell’s answer was, “acne came on my face after I turned 12.”