Select Democrats Banned From The Hill During Halloween Says Speaker

by on 11/10/15 at 11:11 am

Guitarist Keith Richards says that 'hotness' is a trait shared by both by de Lauro and himself.

Guitarist Keith Richards says that ‘hotness’ is a trait shared by both by de Lauro and himself.


Ron Wood says he mistaken for the Congresswoman's son all the time.

Ron Wood says he mistaken for the Congresswoman’s son all the time.


After last year's scare, de Laura was given a wardrobe consultant to help Capitol visitors from being scared away.

After last year’s scare, de Lauro was given a wardrobe consultant to help Capitol visitors from being scared away.

Congresswoman Rosa de Lauro was given a pink slip effectively banning her from Capitol Hill until after Halloween.

Congresswoman Rosa de Lauro was given a pink slip effectively banning her from Capitol Hill until after Halloween.


US House of Representatives – (satireworld.com)

According to the Speaker of the House, it’s not about any ‘war on women,’ but merely a ‘common sense’ issue when he requested that Rep. Rosa DeLauro stay away from the House Chambers during Halloween. “We just don’t need any further scares after this Ebola stuff from last year,” said out going Speaker John Bohner during a recent CNN interview concerning the lingering Ebola threat and the effect it could still have on Congress.

Others agree!

Rep. Alan Grayson (D-FL), who’s usually referred to as the Shrek look-a-like of the House, says he hates having to eat lunch with DeLauro as it gives him a ‘loose bowels.’

Ex-House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi says “yes, it can be very uncomfortable at times,” but knows Rosa as a ‘paisano’ and she regulary visits of a few really great darkened pizza places in DC.

House security staffer Sgt. Willis Hayes has a list of complaints filed against DeLauro ranging from being scared in the dark halls of Congress, to accusing her of soaping up car windows on Halloween night. “Several rather distinguished people have sworn they’ve seen her riding a broom over the Capitol.”

According to Congressional biographer Dr. Howard Nessbaum, Rosa DeLauro is the only woman in Washington that the late Senator Kennedy never put a move on.

In 2002, DeLauro was party to a lawsuit filed in the UK, claiming she was Rolling Stones guitarist Ron Wood’s sister and responsible for damages to a London hotel suite during a birthday party. The suit was later dropped when she furnished her Hogwart’s birth certificate along with a statement from her son guitarist Keith Richards.



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