by E. Williams on 10/11/15 at 5:54 pm
NEW YORK CITY – (satireworld.com)
Democratic National Committee chairbeast, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, accused Donald Trump of reading some of his lines off of cue cards during his hosting gig on Saturday Night Live last night. Schultz says she is appalled that Trump would stoop to such a stunt.
“Everyone knows that Saturday Night Live performers are the greatest thespians of our time. They would never be caught dead reading lines off of cue cards. I think it is an embarrassment that Donald Trump thinks he can just phone in his performance and not take the craft as seriously as the regular cast members,” Debbie said.
“I have watched SNL for years, and I have never seen a host read off of cue cards before. But if you go back and watch the tape of Trump’s performance from last night about 50 times, like I have, you’ll notice him repeatedly looking off to the side to get his lines. I was shocked! Unless he was checking his poll numbers during the show, I don’t know what else he could have been doing.”
Schultz said that when Hillary Clinton had a cameo on SNL earlier this season, it was one of the greatest performances ever given by any female character in any format of entertainment. “Hillary’s performance changed my life,” she said. “I laughed, I cried, and then I had an orgasm. It was that good. There’s no telling how many awards she will win next year for that performance.”
Saturday Night Live’s Lorne Michaels, when asked why Trump had the stones to host an entire show but Hillary only appeared on the show in one sketch, said, “Look, I’m a Democrat, but even I know that Hillary is best taken in very small doses. That’s why Debbie is limiting her debate appearances to just a few. But I thought Donald did fine last night. Our ratings were great!”
Wasserman Schultz said Trump’s performance last night should exclude him from ever being president. “His reading off of cue cards is like having a president who can only speak to the nation when reading directly off a teleprompter. Americans won’t ever stand for that.”