Leaker of Panama Papers Revealed to be David Lee Roth

by on 28/04/16 at 5:41 pm

For those too young to remember the 1980's and 'Van Halen'...Diamond Dave said "OW' a lot because of troublesome anal cysts.

For those too young to remember the 1980’s and ‘Van Halen’…Diamond Dave said “OW’ a lot because of troublesome anal cysts.

PANAMA – (satireworld.com)

The former lead singer of Van Halen, David Lee Roth, has rarely been intertwined in international affairs, but now the musician is coming clean about the controversy known as “The Panama Papers.”

For those who don’t follow the news, the Panama Papers refer to pieces of paper on which David Lee Roth used to write the lyrics to the 1980’s hit song “Panama.” The papers contained secret information, such as the idea of using cables to swing the band members above the stage in the song’s music video.

Diamond Dave, as he’s also known, said,”Ow! It was really weird, man. I had forgotten all about the Panama Papers, and then I was just out cruisin’ one night and I….reached down…between my legs and….eased the seat back…..and there they were. Ow! Ow!”

The Papers contain notes of scribbled lyrics, some of which Roth is not very proud of. As he did a high kick, knocking a fly out of mid-air, he said, “I think the song came out pretty well. I had some lame stuff in there, Ow! Ow! that I’m glad we changed and I scratched out real good. A hey, hey, hey!!”

But why release the Panama Papers now? Dave said, “If I hadn’t done it, Sammy Hagar would have. OW! OW! OWWW!!!”

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