In Exchange For Peace, Trump Offers Kim Jong-Un A Chance At Stardom

by on 13/08/17 at 10:57 am

At a recent Pyongyang concert where 'Dear Leader' Kim Jong -Un performed as Eddie Van Halen, an audience member forgot to applaud and was immediately executed during the beginning rift of...'Hot For Teacher'.

At a recent Pyongyang concert where ‘Dear Leader’ Kim Jong -Un performed as Eddie Van Halen, an audience member forgot to applaud and was immediately executed during the beginning rift of…’Hot For Teacher’.

Peoples Democrat Republic of North Korea – (SatireWorld.com)

After a late-night phone call from President Trump,American singer Marie Osmond has reportedly spent three weeks as the guest of North Korea’s strongman Kim Jong-Un.

According to sources, both are big fans of dancing, singing, and various types of popular music, and last week made several homemade dance-themed movies together at the Presidential Palace located in the ‘Hermit Kingdom’s’ capitol, Pyongyang.

Says Osmond of her current dance partner, “Really, he’s pretty cute even though her’s a tad chubby! He wears these cool retro platform shoes, and puffs his hair up so he can be taller! Did you know, he plays the guitar? I watched a DVD where he plays and acts just like Eddie Van Halen! Anyway, I gave him the toll free number for NutraSystems in case he wants to drop a few pounds.”

Sources have confirmed that Kim Jong-Un had indeedmade an hour long ‘tribute’ DVD where he stars as rocker Eddie Van Halen. In the video he wears a wig, and dresses exactly like the rocker complete with a vintage Gibson guitar.

During a recent concert in Pyongyang, Kim Jong-Un rocked the stadium that contained up to 850,000 party loyalists, who applauded after each rousing rendition of vintage Van Halen.

The successful concert was marred by one audience member forgetting to applaud enthusiastically enough, and was singled out, brought to the stage, and promptly shot while Kim Jong-Un belted out the opening guitar rifts to ‘Hot For Teacher.’
On the popular music DVD, North Korean General Foo Sing Fang, substitutes as rocker David Lee Roth the groups front man. According to Jong Il, the General was sent abroad for massive plastic surgery, hair extensions, full dental work, and guitar lessons. After the album’s release General Fang was shot.

Marie Osmond was later quoted, “The DVD is what turned me on to asking the State Department to invite him to give a try at TV’s Dancing With The Stars. The little guy will love all the attention.”



One Response to “In Exchange For Peace, Trump Offers Kim Jong-Un A Chance At Stardom”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Oct 4th, 2017

    Michelle “Mooch” Obama is trying to get herself back into the political limelight (like corrupt Hillary). The Mooch has offered Kim Jung Un 500 uneaten tons of her “Healthy Eating” school lunches to go to the starving North Korean people.

    The NK Foreign Minister replied that tree bark is better than that Shit!

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