Photo Edition! Star Wars Franchise Plans Movie With Overweight Actors in Lead Rolls

by on 09/03/18 at 7:49 am

The actor playing 'Hans Solo' says getting used to a wee-tiny seat in the Millennium Falcon took some getting use to. The opening nude scenes shocked his mother says Solo actor Bargis Tryhol.

The actor playing ‘Hans Solo’ says getting used to a wee-tiny seat in the Millennium Falcon took some getting use to. The opening nude scenes shocked his mother says Solo actor Bargis Tryhol.

Las Vegas resident Chumlee 'Charles'  Slaughter says he's living a  childhood dream playing a resurrected Darth Vader.  "Just wait for the Old Man down at the pawn shop to see me doing this!"

Las Vegas resident Chumlee ‘Charles’ Slaughter says he’s living a childhood dream playing a resurrected Darth Vader. “Just wait for the Old Man down at the pawn shop to see me doing this!”

Prop maker Kerry Winns says a larger version of the Millennium Falcon will be used.

Prop maker Kerry Winns says a larger version of the Millennium Falcon will be used.

Actress Beverly Boxtop tries on her costume. Boxtop reportedly will play Cretin Queen Bovinia a love interest of Hans Solo.

Actress Beverly Boxtop tries on her costume. Boxtop reportedly will play Cretin Queen Bovinia a love interest of Hans Solo.

A fresh  costume for the Chewbacca actor was harvested on Kodiak Island last month by a professional hunter.

A fresh costume for the Chewbacca actor was harvested on Kodiak Island last month by a professional hunter.

Rosie O'Donnells screen test out take shows why actor Jim Carney almost was rushed to the hospital for internal injuries during a smoldering love scene.

Rosie O’Donnells screen test out take shows why actor Jim Carney almost was rushed to the hospital for internal injuries during a smoldering love scene.

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com)

Disney unveiled the next Star Wars episode set to begin filming in July. The popular franchise will bow to current political pressure by allowing the entire cast to represent true modern body styles by including some real Hollywood ‘heavyweights’ as lead characters. The film’s title is sketchy, but insiders say it’s Escape From Planet of the Large.

“No more fat suits,” says director Michael Moore who’s screen cameo is expected to be a re-appearance of Jabba the Hut, “We’ll give some large-sized actors a role-of-a-lifetime by overlooking all those skinny people.”

With the relaxation of actor body sizes, audition lines were long in Los Angeles this past week. Several well-know faces in the crowd included controversial pundit Joy Baher who says she has an ‘inside track’ to land a meaty role as a lead character.
The Hollywood rumor mill is abuzz with rumors about Chastity ‘Chas’ Bono and Rosie O’Donnell playing the role of what’s being called the greatest roll in Mongo Hay since the famous movie beach scene in ‘From Here to Eternity.’



Leave a Reply