Congresswoman Maxine Waters Tied To Kidnapping Plot Says FBI

by on 04/07/18 at 9:06 am

The Maxine! More noted for her cheap James Brown wigs. more than her political acumen, is a major proponent on Trump Impeachment,

The Maxine!
More noted for her cheap James Brown wigs. more than her political acumen, is a major proponent on Trump Impeachment,

FBI investigators said the Improvised Fruit Device found at the Congresswoman's home was crude and was probably used as a statement versus a real attack. Some say  Waters placed the device there herself since melons were discovered in her walk-in cooler. Waters had 'no comment'.

FBI investigators said the Improvised Fruit Device found at the Congresswoman’s home was crude and was probably used as a statement versus a real attack. Some say Waters placed the device there herself since melons were discovered in her walk-in cooler. Waters had ‘no comment’.

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com)

A spokesman for the FBI unveiled a plot against a Congresswoman today at a press conference in Los Angeles. The thwarted crime was supposedly formulated by Trump supporters said FBI field agent Henry Winnebago. The charges included to ‘kidnap and extort Administration critic California Congresswoman Maxine Waters, by using a trap-like device located on the grounds of her Los Angeles home’.

According to the spokesman, the charges specified that the Administration officials planned to keep the out-spoken Waters hidden away until after the 2018 mid-term elections.

Photos of the trapping device were released showing the top-secret apparatus primed and ready to close upon the unsuspecting victim. The clever trapping device was going to be used when the Walters made her daily visit to clean-up debris, used syringes and other homeless litter that accumulates around her 13.4 million dollar mansion located miles from her legitimate district.

Groundskeeper, Mavis Clem, discovered the booby trapped device during her morning rounds picking up bird droppings from the brick sidewalks. The trap was quickly disarmed and removed by an experienced EOD team brought in from nearby the Marine Base in San Diego. At no time was the Congresswopman in any danger.

White House officials had ‘no comment’ when reporters noticed a White House return address on the box shipping label and asked if the whole matter just might be a pre-election season publicity stunt just to embarrass Administration members.

A tip off to the press that it could be a ‘ mere political set-up’ was a sign stuck in the ground saying ‘free fruit’ with an arrow pointing toward the box which was partially hidden.

Other reports claim a blonde wig reportedly found a few feet away closely resembled Donald Trump’s hairdo. Scattered around were MAGA hats and leaflets. More troubling evidence were the several broken sticks showing the complexity the perpetrators had in arming the device.

Staffers mentioned the ‘bait’ was later chilled and safely consumed during a Democrat Black Caucus Leaders luncheon held at Waters’ mansion. No one has claimed the lost wig, though several in attendance could have used one.

The agents refused to release additional information, or names, citing ‘need to know’ security. Reporter Martin Shuttlecock, who says he works over at www.satireworld.com, says he figured out the FBI double-talk and that since the FBI’s intelligent service is ‘secret’ no other questions could be answered for the press unless they ‘guessed the right word’.

Shuttlecock guessed ‘ stupid lying douchebags’ and was promptly ejected from the press corp.

More news as we get it….



2 Responses to “Congresswoman Maxine Waters Tied To Kidnapping Plot Says FBI”

  1. O’Leg Pee

    Jul 4th, 2018

    Crude device: Maxine behind that big oil racketeering shakedown? Someone check Pablo Fajardo’s DNA swabs

  2. Philbert of Macadamia

    Jul 6th, 2018

    Texas has erected 100 foot tall life like statues of “Mad” Maxine Waters, spaced every quarter of a mile, along the Rio Grande River Border with Mexico!

    This wall will scare the s**t out of any illegal immigrants trying to cross into the USA!

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