Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Admits: ‘I’ve Never Had Real Sex!’

by on 11/01/19 at 12:00 pm

According to Ocasio-Cortez, first-sex turned ugly when she was in  PS 153 when a upper-class  football player promised her a 'pearl necklace' if she went to the prom with him. " Here I am expecting a nice velvet box with a necklace inside.... Then he pulls out his dinky! It was real icky and almost ruined my rental prom gown and totally fogged up my glasses!"

According to Ocasio-Cortez, first-sex turned ugly when she was in PS 153. It was then an upper-class football player promised her a ‘pearl necklace’ if she went to the prom with him.
” Here I am expecting a nice velvet box with a necklace inside…. Then suddenly when we’re in his Chevy he pulls out his wanker-doodle! It was real icky and almost ruined my rental prom gown and totally fogged up my glasses!”

Yeah, about right....

Yeah, about right….

New York, NY – (satireworld.com)

On Tuesday night, bartender turned freshmen congresswoman, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez age 29,(D-NY) sat down with Satireworld writer Anita Drink for a first ever interview with a conservative press representative. Congresswoman Ocasio-Cortez let it all out in a rum fused interview at a local Bronx watering hole frequented by her blue collar and liberal local constituents.

The conversation had usual blather about raising taxes, global warming, we’re all gonna die stuff, and of course, totally free and easy immigration fixes for everyone. So now, Anita decided to turn the talk to girl-stuff hoping Alexandria would loosen up some.

Now, just about everyone knows SW writers are known to ask the most disarming and forthright questions that usual main stream media interviewers totally avoid, so Anita Drink asked some personal ones:

DRINK: ‘I see you like Puerto Rican rum straight up. Pretty ballsy for a Bronx chick, right?’

AOC: ‘Yeah it is I guess. I liked it ever since high school when we did Jello shooters at parties.’

DRINK: ‘During your bartender career, were you ever a ‘2 AM Beauty Queen’ and then left work with a stranger?

AOC: ‘Never! I never had sex with a stranger. In fact, I’ve never had real sex except maybe once sorta.
I did had sex with myself once while changing beer kegs in the cooler. Bung holes turned me on I guess.’

More Ocasio-Cortez interview at 11!



2 Responses to “Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Admits: ‘I’ve Never Had Real Sex!’”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Jan 13th, 2019

    There is the Manhattan Cocktail; there was the Manhattan Madame; and now there is socialist AOC, the Manhattan Moron!

    Some may argue that NYC socialist Mayor Bill deBlasio is actually the Manhattan Moron!

    • Jalapenoman

      Jan 13th, 2019

      The Mayor is the MALE Manhattan Moron. The congresswoman is the MAIDEN Manhattan Moron.

      I hope this clears things up for you!

Leave a Reply