Even Wife’s Cell Phone Number Written On Men’s Room Wall Doesn’t Deter ‘The Word’s Happiest Man!’

by on 25/01/11 at 5:41 am

'Happy Ed' celebrates with friends after learning his 16 year old daughter was pregnant.

Brighton, MA-(satireworld.com)

Happy' Ed Gleeson is without a doubt the 'Happiest Man in the World!' He's earned this distinctive title by never frowning, never being angry, and always having an upbeat and positive attitude.

Some say Happy Ed was born that way and related a story about when Ed was ten years old a classmate pushed his face into a water fountain breaking off his front tooth. He smiled and shook the kid's hand. In the Army at age twenty, a fellow soldier accidently bayoneted him in the eye and Ed just laughed it off promising the soldier a 'lunch on him' as they wheeled him into the base hospital for emergency eye surgery.

Even as an adult, his always good mood shone through even when a pair of muggers hit him repeatedly with a cement block. Though severely traumatized, Ed handed each a twenty dollar bill and called the ambulance himself…never pressing charges!

Today, Ed’s good mood is still prevalent, even after visiting a sleazy restroom at a local bowling alley and finding his wife's cell phone number written in felt tip pen on the bathroom stall wall. Was he angry? Not 'Happy' Ed Gleeson! He even wrote her work number below and added his teenaged daughter's cell number as well! For good measure, he even added Beatrice, his Mom's name and number to the wall. To top even that, he taped a quarter under the numbers in case the reader was out of change for the pay phone.

Yes,'Happy' Ed has been happy ever since birth. His doctor narrowed down the happy condition to a genetic split in his DNA strand, which makes it impossible for Ed to feel anger.

Knowing his condition, the doctor sent him a bill for over three million dollars for a bogus diagnosis of advanced brain cancer forcing Ed and his family into bankruptcy!

Was 'Happy' Ed deterred? Not on your life! He summorized his feelings by shooting the doctor 127 times with a high powered rifle.

Now, today after spending an additional $1 million dollars for lawyer fees to beat the rap, 'Happy' Ed Gleeson is even happier, since he’s saved over $2 million dollars he was supposed to pay the doctor.

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