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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom’s ‘The Country Boy Advice Column’(Sunday Edition)

by Throckmorton P. Turdblossom on 10/09/11 at 7:02 pm

Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom,

I understand that you are making up lists of ways we can protest against them Middle Eastern folks on the 10th anniversary of 9/11.  I got me an idear too!

Have you heard of “take your daughter to work day?”  How about we do a “take a pig to work day.”

On that day, everyone takes their pig to work.  You can take one of them big old farm type swine, a Vietnamese Pot Bellied Pig, or even a guinnea pig (but I ain’t talking about your filthy brother in law type of pig). 

Anyhows, if people working in airports and bus and train stations and stores and everywheres else all have their pigs with ‘em, it’s sure to piss of them ragheads.  It would also work good if they paraded them past the mosques and let ‘em all take a pig dump on their yards.

How about my idea?  Would it work?

Ed Earl Bubba  Buford, Vermont

Dear Ed Earl,

This might work out in the country, but most city folks don’t have pigs.  I know that this comes as a shocker, but lots of them live in condos and townhouses and high rise apartment buildings and can’t keep animals.

For your idear to work, we could ship lots of pigs into the city and declare National Pig Day or something like that and make everyone pet the pigs for luck.

Good idea, though.  Keep on trying to come up with more pig ideas and I’ll keep publishing them.  We need to show them muslims/moslems (they still don’t deserve capitalization) who is boss and that we ain’t never gonna forget, even though New York is letting them build the Ground Zero Mosque.

TPT

Today’s Observation from Throckmorton P. Turdblossom:  I hope someone that don’t have a pig doesn’t accidentally put a leash on Rosie O’Donnell and lead her around on “take your pig to work day.”