I’m Proud To Be A One Percenter

by on 26/04/13 at 5:50 am

If you're a disheaveled, nose-pierced, tattooed, dread-locked, freak-a-zoid you're probably not anywhere close to the 99% you claim to be and in another time in our not so distant past you'd simply be called a bum.

If you’re a disheaveled, face-pierced, tattooed, dread-locked, drugged out freak-a-zoid you’re probably not anywhere close to the 99% you claim to be and in another time in our not so distant past you’d simply be called a bum.

Satire World Editorial:
Last year, we had idiots camping out all over this country to protest the one percenters. They disrupted business on Wall Street and in many other cities just for publicity purposes. This group claimed to represent 99% of the American people, but they didn’t represent me.

In the news of the past few weeks, that hasn’t dealt with gun control or the Boston bombings, I’ve seen this moronic phrase appear again.

Well, I guess that I am a one percenter and I am proud of it.

I have a job in the private sector (definition: one that is profit motivated and is not funded by the government); this makes me a one percenter.

I didn’t get a tax refund this year and paid money (again) to the government; this makes me a one percenter.

I don’t have a problem paying taxes to the government to fund schools, the military, the police, the fire department, and other essential services. I DO have a problem paying taxes to fund political parties, labor unions, gay and lesbian support groups, or militant anti-white groups who put themselves into power through intimidation and social guilt; this makes me a one percenter.

I don’t collect any government welfare, food stamps, free housing, stimulus plan funds, or “Obama Money;” this makes me a one percenter.

I have never been arrested in my life and do not use illegal and/or recreational drugs; this makes me a one percenter.

I attend church every Sunday, pay my tithing, pray, and read my scriptures; this makes me a one percenter.

I don’t insult police officers (or sing about killing them), women (or call them bitches and ho’s/whores), American Military Personnel, old people (yep, the Obama Death Squads), or minorities; this makes me a one percenter.

I recognize that the Constitution is the law of the land and expect my lawmakers and other elected officials to support and defend it; this makes me a one percenter.

I respect the American Flag as a symbol of this country and don’t believe that burning or desecrating it is an act of “Freedom of Speech” or freedom of expression; this makes me a one percenter.

I stop and remove my hat when the Flag goes by or when I hear the National Anthem. I also know the words to The Star Spangled Banner and sing along when I hear the music; this makes me a one percenter.

I believe that people are responsible for their own actions and the results of their actions; this makes me a one percenter.

I believe that there should not be a statute of limitations on most crimes and that Hanoi Jane Fonda is still a traitor who should be tried for treason against the United States and be held responsible for the murder and beating of American soldiers (regardless of how many Oscars she has won, who her father was, how many rich men and politicians she has slept with, and whether or not you like her exercise videos); this makes me a one percenter.

I believe that affirmative action and quotas are often discriminatory against better qualified people, regardless of the ethnic group, job, or type of schooling involved. Everyone should make it on their own merits and not because of the color of their skin; this makes me a one percenter.

I believe that there should not be a problem with illegal aliens obtaining free education, free school lunches, government welfare, a driver’s license, government housing, or voting because when it is discovered that they are here illegally, they should be deported immediately; this makes me a one percenter.

I believe that giving aid and comfort to the enemy is still an act of treason, even if it is the current foreign policy of the White House; this makes me a one percenter.

I still believe that the main source of income for people should be an honest day’s work for an honest day’s wages and that the wages should match the work; this makes me a one percenter.

I own firearms. My .22 semi-automatic rifle has a fourteen shot banana clip that may soon be illegal as it makes this can plinking toy into an assault rifle! The main reason I have a fourteen shot clip is not to shoot up a school, it is because I am too lazy to constantly reload; this makes me a one percenter.

I celebrated “Inauguration Day” this year by exercising my freedoms under the Bill of Rights and purchasing a new 30.06 (before the current Socialist administration makes that illegal); this makes me a one percenter.

I understand that some people may on occasion fall on hard times and may need temporary assistance (the key word being “temporary). I believe “workfare” programs should be used in such cases to allow people to keep their pride and not give the appearance of being on the dole; this makes me a one percenter.

I believe that people should pay their debts; this makes me a one percenter.

I believe that it should not be wrong or politically incorrect (a term that needs to go away) to point out that almost all acts of terrorism acted out against this country have been done by Moslem/Muslims; this makes me a one percenter.

I believe that a handshake should be good enough for a contract between two people. When a paper contract is written and signed, it should be honored by both parties (regardless of how many home runs you hit, baskets you make, or touchdowns you throw); this makes me a one percenter.

I believe that there is nothing wrong with one man earning more than another or having more than another as this is often the fruits of his labor and his education (the “early bird gets the worm” and the “laborer is worthy of his hire”); this makes me a one percenter.

I believe that taxes should be levied fairly across all citizens and legal residents of this country, regarless of race, economic status, political party, religious affiliation, or age; this makes me a one percenter.

I recognize that this country was founded upon the Judeo-Christian principles of the Founding Fathers and from the Bible and that “freedom of religion” should not be “freedom from religion;” this makes me a one percenter.

I believe that a man who has paid into Social Security for fifty years is entitled to ten times the payment of a person who has only paid into the program for five (at the same rate); this makes me a one percenter.

I believe that labor unions have outlived their usefulness and are now tools of a political party and of organized crime to keep both rich and in power; this makes me a one percenter.

I believe that a man is entitled to his opinion, his religion, and his own ethical/moral code, no matter how antiquated or politically incorrect it might sound or seem to others; this makes me a one percenter.

I believe that a man is entitled to run his business as he sees fit, as long as he obeys the laws of the land; this makes me a one percenter.

I believe that marriage is still the union of a man and a woman in the sight of God; this makes me a one percenter.

I believe that the Indian Reservation system has outlived its purpose and that American Indian Tribes should not be granted special rights (unregulated casinos on tribal lands, automatic welfare benefits regardless of income, and special tax breaks on alcohol, tobacco, and gasoline) due to ancestry. They are citizens of this country and should have the same economic responsibilities as all other citizens; this makes me a one percenter.

I believe that God is perfect and didn’t make mistakes and that if a woman wants to become a man in appearance, she is still chemically, legally, and through DNA a women; this makes me a one percenter.

I understand that two people who do the same work may not always get the same pay because of factors such as experience, education, time on the job, job title, relationship to the boss, and age and that people should stop trying to make this always about gender or race and just deal with it; this makes me a one percenter.

I believe that the “straight party” vote should be removed from the ballot, along with the designation of political party. Voters who are not informed of the issues or the names of the people that they wish to support have no place in the voting booth; this makes me a one percenter.

I believe that when the people approve a law through popular vote, a legislature approves the same law, a state supreme court approves the wording of that law, and a governor signs that law, that a federal judge does not have the authority to overturn that law just because it disagrees with their own lifestyle; this makes me a one percenter.

I believe that the Boy Scouts as a private, dues paying organization are free to allow in or keep out whoever they want and that the federal government has no place forcing them to accept gay scouts or gay scout leaders; this makes me a one percenter.

I am a white, conservative, Christian, male who believes in duty, honor, and personal responsibility; this makes me a one percenter. I think that the word “responsibility” is probably the key here as there is a constant need to blame the Government, repressed memories, economic status, and many other thing for our problems. People no longer “take the bull by the horns” or “climb out of the gutter” or “lift themselves up by their own bootstraps” when it is so much easier to place blame on someone else and hold out your hand for free money.

When I was a kid, most of the adults in this country shared the same belief system that I have stated above. Unfortunately, looking at the results of the last election, it looks like we now truly are one percent!

This makes me an old fart, politically incorrect, and a troglodyte by the standards of the day.

That said… I AM PROUD TO BE A ONE PERCENTER!!!!!

Author’s Note: This is an editorial and these are my opinions. If you disagree with me, you have that right. However, if you disagree on more than just a few of these, you are probably a dumbass who voted for Obama (twice) and are more part of the problem than part of the solution.



3 Responses to “I’m Proud To Be A One Percenter”

  1. Captain america

    Apr 26th, 2013

    ..I think we’re outnumbered….but proud of it!

    GO J-MAN!

  2. Philbert of Macadamia

    Apr 26th, 2013

    Good one.

    I have noticed a very strange phenomena occurring, more and more people are denying they voted for Obama.

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