by Bargis Tryhol on 16/12/13 at 6:47 am
Nothing says Christmas like a staff photo with Santa and an AR-15! Just ask the writers at SatireWorld as they pose with jolly Ol’ St. Nick and some high-powered firearms: AK-47s, grenade launchers and machine guns.
“People decide to celebrate the holidays in unique ways,” said editor Bargis Tryhol. “Some choose to do it with Santa at the mall, others in front of their tree. Our writer and readers like to do it with ‘Santa and Machine Guns’ down at the SatireWorld’s range and dinner club.”
This was the third year of SatireWorld’s ‘Santa and Machine Guns’ event, and the line was wrapped around the block. This sort of Christmas shoot ’em up fun fest is free with a donation going towards the NRA Legislative Action Committee.
For the Throckmorton Turdblossom family’s photo with Santa, Throcky proudly held his machine guns. It was tough to say who was more excited for the photo…Throcky or his kids.
“It’s a fact of life, there are guns everywhere, especially in America home of the free,” writer Annoying Rash said. “We thought it was a really neat thing to do, and fun.”
Satirists Captain America, Buckwheatsbutt, and writer Meagan Hotstuff (front) hold machine guns while they posed with Santa for SatireWorld’s ‘Santa and Machine Guns’ event.
“Our kids have never touched guns,” he continued. “The little ones have never touched guns. Not until they are 5 years old and they can actually go through a gun safety class.”
Santa’s elves, who wore their own sidearms, made sure to give everyone a quick gun safety check before they took their Christmas photo: don’t point a gun at anyone and keep your finger off the trigger.
“Let’s talk about finger discipline and muzzle discipline,” one writer-elf named Mr. Numbnuts said. “Remember which side you are on with Santa.”
One important thing to note is while the guns were real, the weapons were not loaded and the firing pins were removed.
“These are decommissioned firearms and they have been cleared and safety checked,” Numbnuts said. “We are just trying to make a fun holiday-themed event for those who want to express their holiday spirit and their love for the shooting sports or the hobby of firearms.”
When asked if he thought the “Peace on Earth” message clashed with the firearms Christmas photos, Numbnuts said, “I think there are folks that see it in a different way.”
But even at gun-totin’ SatireWorld, “Santa and Machine Guns” didn’t strike a happy chord with everyone.
“Heck of a way to celebrate the birth of our savior,” said lunatic fringe activist and perrenial fatman, director Michael Moore. “To me, it is common sense that you don’t joke around with guns and they should be banned.”
Democratic Committee chairwoman, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz raised a few eyebrows when she claimed, ” The only guns I like shoot blanks and have about an 8 inch barrel.” Some writers pretty much figured out thats why she had powder burns on her lips.
But at SatireWorld’s exclusive shooting range and dinner club, that opinion seems to be in the minority — more like “Peace on Earth, and just don’t mess with Santa.”