by Buckwheatsbutt on 02/10/14 at 5:51 am
Downers Grove, OH – (satireworld.com)
A white Ohio woman is suing a Downers Grove-based sperm bank, alleging that the company mistakenly gave her vials of sperm from an African-American donor, a fact that she said has made it difficult for her and her same-sex partner Mildred to raise their now 2-year-old daughter in an all-white community.
Jennifer Cromwell, of Hamburg, Ohio, alleges in the lawsuit filed Monday in Coon County Circuit Court that Midwestern Sperm Bank sent her the vials of an African-American donor’s sperm in September 2011 instead of those of a ‘pure white’ donor that she and her white partner had ordered. Midwestern Sperm Bank, Inc has offered to refund their money and would sent a whole quart of government inspected white gay-cum free of charge.
After searching through pages of comprehensive histories for their top three donors, the lawsuit claims, Cromwell and her domestic partner chose donor No. 380, who was also white, gay, and has a unique ability to touch his forehead with his tongue. But, their doctor in Ohio received vials from donor No. 330, who is African-American, has nappy hair, and talks with a lisp the lawsuit said.
Cromwell, 36, learned of the mistake in April 2012, when she was pregnant and ordered more vials so that the couple could have another child with sperm from the same donor. The sperm bank delivered vials from the correct donor (No.380) in August 2011, but Cromwell later requested more vials, because her partner Mildred inadvertently fed their cat with the spare vial.
Cromwell is suing Midwestern Sperm Bank for wrongful birth, unstated artificial ingredients, and breach of warranty, citing the emotional and economic losses she has suffered.
An attorney for Midwestern Sperm Bank said the company would not comment on pending litigation but says the replacement offer still stands.
An attorney representing vial number 330, says his client feels degraded and humiliated wants to sue for racist remarks about his sperm. It would be the nation’s first lawsuit where jerkoff-juice was considered an extension of personhood, with the exception of Washington, DC where most law makers are jerkoffs.