by Annoying Rash on 06/09/15 at 12:38 pm
Cowplains, IL – (satireworld.com)
A white lesbian woman who sued after she was accidentally impregnated with the sperm of an African American man will be forced to refile the lawsuit after an Illinois judge tossed out her claim against the sperm bank as a frivolous and stupid lawsuit.
Eloise Winns filed suit against Mike’s Budget Sperm Bank and Bait/Tackle Shop in 2014 because she was artificially inseminated with sperm from the wrong donor and gave birth to a mixed-race daughter. The river front sperm bank is located in Jones Ferry, MO and has been in business for almost ten years without a complaint on file.
The sperm bank publicaly apologized and refunded part of the insemination cost to Winns and her partner Rose Mason. But Winns’suit alleged that the mistake caused her and her family stress, pain, suffering and medical expenses. And, the suit said, in Winns’ predominantly white trailer park community, she feared that her daughter, Morton Sue, now 3, would grow up feeling like an “mulatto outcast.”
Winns was in the news last year when she displayed a baby carriage that was covered with a burka-like drape preventing anyone from seeing the baby. Neighbors also said that whenever Winns took the child anywhere outdoors it was dusted with talcum powder from head to toe. Next door neighbor Christine Hayes said, “that child is treated like a leper and I hope they treat her better than their dog Mildred is treated (pointing toward a dilapidated outdoor dog house).”
But Plains County judge Dave Hamilton threw out the lawsuit Thursday, agreeing with attorneys for Mike’s Budget Sperm Bank who argued that it lacked legal merit, and ‘when someone claims to be a lesbian they can’t be all that choosy anyway!’ Hamilton also threw out the complaint that a ‘union label’, nor UPC bar code wasn’t affixed to the baby at birth.
Attorneys for the sperm bank had argued that “wrongful birth” suits typically apply to cases where the child is born with a birth defect that doctors should have warned parents about. In this case, the child was healthy and Winns and her wife were being racist asses about the whole thing.
Winns had also sought damages for a “breach of warranty.” The judge rejected both claims but laughingly said that Winns could refile the suit as a ‘somebody-snuck-in-the-woodshed’ lawsuit and possibly collect a few hundred dollars.