Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
by Throckmorton P. Turdblossom on 25/05/12 at 3:59 pm
This is a woman with a case of Coyote Ugly....Any questions?
It used to be we used the term “Coyote Ugly” for really ugly women. When a coyote is caught in a trap, they will chew off a leg to get out. If a woman was coyote ugly and you woke up next to her in bed (after picking her up while drunk in a bar), you’d chew off your arm rather than wake her up in the morning.
Now, when you say Coyote Ugly, people think of really hot women dancing on bars and it ain’t about dog faced women no more.
What expression are we supposed to use now?
Eugene Bluejean Genitalia, West Virginia
Dear Eugene,
Saying that someone took their ugly pills or got beat with an ugly stick is just a little too old and out of fashion.
I say “she’s so ugly it looks like she got hit with a face full of Debbie Wasserman Schultz… and it stuck.”
You could also say that “she’s so ugly, she looks like a cross between Rosie O’Donnell and the missing link (and we all know Oprah’s the missing link).”
TPT
Today’s Observation From Throckmorton P. Turdblossom: It’s high school graduation time again and I am expected to buy fancy pen and pencil sets or watches or something for kids that are going to be asking me next year “you want fries with that?”
Let’s Hear It!