by Throckmorton P. Turdblossom on 01/07/12 at 2:04 pmDear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom,
I seen this article on yer website about buying that Upton girl’s training bra. I know you didn’t write it, but you are the guy on that website that helps folks. I wanted to know if it is possible to buy Justin Bieber’s tighty whiteys. Can you help me find out where I can look on line or where I should write to get these?
A Horny Thirteen Year Old Girl Pennsylvania
Dear Mr. Sandusky,
Yer letter is postmarked from the state prison and it has your prisoner number and cell number on it. I ain’t interested in helping you buy this boy’s underpants (or those of any other child, for that matter).
I used to get letters like this from Michael Jackson when he was still alive, and I always forwarded them on to the state police. Guess where yers is going?
Today’s Observation from Throckmorton P. Turdblossom: I never realized how funny Peter Sellers was in his Pink Panther movies until I saw the ones with Steve Martin.