Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”

by on 08/05/13 at 4:48 am

Aunt Jemina would whip up a double batch  just for you!

Aunt Jemina wopuld whip up a double batch just for you!

Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom,

Who would win in a fight: Aunt Jemima or Mrs. Butterworth?

Hilda Hotcakes  Plainsville, Georgia

Dear Hilda,

What?  Do you mean “who makes better pancake syrup?” or “which of these two products sells the most?” or “which of these two characters would win in a cat fight?”

If you do mean the fight, do we have Sara Lee against Mrs. Smith’s on the undercard?  How about the Pillsbury Dough Boy against the Jolly Green Giant (no, hold on, they’d be in different weight classes!).

All this speculation of who’d win between Spiderman and Superman and such is just nonsense.  It’s also stupid to ask if a Ninja could beat a navy Seal or a Spartan could take on a Stripling Warrior or a D’Artagnan would win a swordfight against Robin Hood.

Now, if you want to ask me about the Cowboys against the Redskins, I could answer that question. 

Please pull your head out of comic books and turn off the cartoon network and come back to reality.  Oh, wait, I forgot that our government also lives in a fantasy world where they think they are saving the country and protecting us….

Okay… I’d go with Aunt Jemima cuz she’s a lot fatter and could put Mrs. Butterworth down and sit on her.

By the way… I almost forgot to call you a Dumbass.  Dumbass!


Today’s Observation From Throckmorton P. Turdblossom:  If’n you ask me who’d be a worse quarterback for the Dallas Cowboy, Tony Romo or Tim Tebow, I’d say that Romo has already proven for years that he can’t do the job.

One Response to “Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column””

  1. Captain america

    May 8th, 2013

    ….and with RGIII you guys are toast!

    Romo and J. Collins…..only one is still a closet case!

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