Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”

by on 26/09/13 at 6:30 am

Brit personality Jimmy Saville loved flys, especially if they were in front of little boys trousers!

Brit personality Jimmy Saville loved flys, especially if they were in front of little boys trousers!

Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom,

You see flies on dead animals on the side of the road (dogs, cats, coyotes, rabbits, armadillos,…).  You also see flies on cow poop and dog poop and swarming around outhouses.  It seems like every kind of poop and dead animal is attractive for flies.

When I see dead flies on the window sill, I never see any other flies on top of them.

What animal is attracted to dead flies?

Edgar Squatgrunt from Falfurrias, Texas

Dear Edgar,

You know that a dead Siamese cat is about 100,000 times bigger than a fly and a coyote must be half a million times bigger than a fly.  Wouldn’t it make sense that the animal that is attracted to dead flies is one that is super tiny and you’d need a microscope to see it?

It makes me wonder now if that “pins and needles” feeling I get sometimes is because of a bunch of those too small to see flies all landing on me at once.  Maybe I ought to start whacking myself with a flyswatter when I get that sensation?

TPT

Today’s Observation From Throckmorton P. Turdblossom: I saw two bumper stickers together on a car.  They’d been cut up to mesh and meld them together.  One of them said “your proctologist called; they found your brain.”  On the front part of that was an Obama campaign sticker from last year.   The only problem with this is I think that the proctologist must have been using a magnifying glass in that ass to find Obama’s brain.

 

 

 

 



One Response to “Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column””

  1. captain america

    Sep 26th, 2013

    …still remember that fly buzzing around Obam’a head during one fo his early lectures to the country…sometimes nobody listens even when the evidence flies right in front of you….

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