Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”

by on 24/02/14 at 9:15 am

Transvestite Stuart Kerr had his bolt-on boobies done by WalMart...For some strange reason Kerr wants to look like John Kerry while cruising DC gay bars.

Transvestite Stuart Kerr had his bolt-on boobies done by WalMart…For some strange reason Kerr wants to look like John Kerry while cruising DC gay bars.

Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom,

I saw on the news last night that Walmart is going to start doing breast implants.

I know that breast implants use saline pouches, and that saline is just another name for salt water.

Do you think anyone has tried to corner the market on salt water by buying up a lot of stock?

I think that we could get ourselves rich doing this!

Lefty Schwartz  Flyspit, Georgia

Dear Lefty,

I don’t really think that salt water is one of those commodities that really takes a lot of serious investing in.  I just do see it being successful or a good return on my money.

Have you ever heard of the Atlantic Ocean?  How about the Pacific Ocean?  There’s also the Indian Ocean.  Here in the United States, we’ve even got the Great Salt Lake.

I think there’s plenty of salt water out there to make all them titties a whole lot bigger.

TPT

Today’s Observation from Throckmorton P. Turdblossom:  Nowadays, everybody my age wants to be a door greeter at Walmart so they can just stand there and get paid to say hello to all the folks coming into the store.  Very soon, them door greeters are all going to be turning around and saying other things to all the girls leaving Walmart after their surgeries!

P.S. from Throckmorton P. Turdblossom:  My mailbox is just jam packed full of letters from folks wanting to know about this whole breast enhancement surgery thing available at Walmart, so I guess you are gonna be reading a lot about that for a few days.



One Response to “Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column””

  1. captain america

    Feb 24th, 2014

    ….probably turn out to be a bust…dumping my stock…

    If I wanted to hear the ocean I’d just move there not run around with
    A boob in my ear to hear my blood pumping through my Johnson!

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