Al Sharpton Has ‘No Lead In His Pencil’ According To NYPD Report

by on 08/01/15 at 3:28 pm

The RX was for the strongest dose usually used for elephants. Sharpton once claimed he took the drug to, in his words, "make myself a little taller."

The RX was for the strongest dose usually used for elephants. Sharpton once claimed he took the drug to, in his words, “make myself a little taller.”

Billboards with the Mister Softee logo mysteriously popped up around ten of the largest NYPD precinct headquarters

Billboards with the Mister Softee logo mysteriously popped up around ten of the largest NYPD precinct headquarters

Al was speechless for the first time since 1971 when confronted with his written RX for the maximum dose of Viagra.

Al was speechless for the first time since 1971 when confronted with his written RX for the maximum dose of Viagra.

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com)

The Reverend Al Sharpton lashed out at New York cops on Monday after they revealed to SatireWorld.com that they found his Viagra prescription in the apartment of a lawyer friend recently cleared of rape charges.

According to the reporter when asked about the find, “a shocked Sharpton” initially feigned ignorance about the prescription for the little blue sex pills.

“I don’t know anything about that! No,that ain’t me! I don’t know nothing about that stuff,” Sharpton said…after a long speechless second.

He roared back a moment later, accusing the source who leaked the detail of trying to embarrass him with a racist smear campaign and saying he would demand an investigation and further action by his National Action Network of reported professional shakedown artists.

“I am not saying what I do or don’t do, I’m not going to invade my privacy for some shithead cop,” said Sharpton. “I have no knowledge of what was in (Rubenstein’s) apartment. But it’s not uncommon for men of color and men of all ages to use certain things. Except me I don’t use things, or if’n I did it would be your things, not my things, and certainly things not blue in color, but black like my girl friend over there. Tell ’em Louise that I don’t use things and our things is just them good things especially if’n it’s your tasty things if’n you catch my drift.”

“If the motive of the cop was to embarrass me, at 60 years old, I am unembarrassable,” fumed Sharpton, a long term snitch for the NYPD and whose longstanding animosity with the NYPD has reached a fever pitch because of his vocal opposition to stop-and-frisk and close relationship to avowed communist Mayor de Blasio. The tensions got even worse recently with the execution of two cops who were shot while on duty by a deranged individual acting on behalf of a black nationalist organization.

The prescription was just the latest in a string of tawdry finds cops made as they searched Rubenstein’s apartment after a top official with Sharpton’s National Action Network accused him of drugging and raping her last year.

On Monday, however, prosecutors concluded there was no case.

An investigation into #ViagraGate AKA ….‘the police conspiracy to embarrass the unembarrassable Al Sharpton’…. has not been yet been announced.

Sharpton later claimed that he had ‘no knowledge about the amount of lead in his pencil’ and denied rumors about being a pencil dick though he did acknowledge that if he was a pencil dick he’d need some lead for sure so he could sign that donation check.



3 Responses to “Al Sharpton Has ‘No Lead In His Pencil’ According To NYPD Report”

  1. Captain america

    Jan 8th, 2015

    …..not to put too fine a point onnit….all he can present in the court of opinion are some oral arguments on his expertise…Jeff Epstein has the video proof!

  2. Philbert of Macadamia

    Jan 8th, 2015

    The Viagra explains why Sharpton is such a big dickhead!

  3. Philbert of Macadamia

    Jan 10th, 2015

    The 2014 “Slime Ball of the Year Award” goes to Race Hustler and tax cheat the Rev. Al Sharpton. Sorry former SML Harry Reid (D-NV), who held the Golden Rat trophy for many years!

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