God “Sick and Tired of Being Everybody’s Damn Witness”

HEAVEN– (SatireWorld.com) The Lord God Almighty has had it up to his Charlton Heston-like brow with people who say “as god is my witness” when they want to underscore a statement or a threat.

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Fisher-Price Toy Controversy Brings Out Internet Paul Reveres

WHEREVER – (SatireWorld.com) Paul Revere is best known as a patriot in colonial days who alerted militia to approaching British forces before the battles of Lexington and Concord. An internet Paul Revere is someone who feels compelled to alert others on social media that something is wrong with a news story. They are similar to […]

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Meet The Alt-Right’s Golden Boy

NEW YORK— (SatireWorld.com) Richard B. Spencer, who has been called the Golden Boy of the Alt-Right, will adorn the cover of GQ’s February 2017 (Valentine Day) issue. The handsome, natty, and oh-so-controversial Mr. Spencer, who seeks to spread the gospel of white nationalism, is already spreading the gospel that “Neo-Nazis” are a far cry sartorially […]

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Crappy Crony Capitalism Exposed

Washington DC- (SatireWorld.com) While Crooked Hillary Clinton was Secretary of State (SOS) and also illegally involved in the Bill and Hillary Foundation money laundering scheme she was approached by Jonas Crappy. Mr. Crappy had an idea for a completely automatic, robotic commode, but needed funding. Hillary sent an urgent email, via her illegal home server, […]

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Declining Days of Obama’s Policies, Left on the National Mall

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Liberal Democrats are in denial, pretending that Crooked lying Hillary lost because of the Electoral College, Russian hacking of voting machines and then retaining out of touch Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) as House Minority Leader. However, Americans are celebrating Republican victories at all levels of government (local, state, federal) by rejoicing […]

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SATIREWORLD’S PHOTO OF THE DAY………..

SatireWorld.com In our continuing efforts to offer our readers only the best and most relevant photos…Here’s the SatireWorld Photo of the Day!

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Fidel Castro Ashes Buried In Cigar Box In El Cheapo Cuban Funeral

Santiago de Cuba (Cuba) – (SatireWorld.com) Fidel Castro’s ashes were entombed in a massive stone next to national heroes on Sunday, as Cuba opens a new era without the communist leader who ruled for decades and killed or jailed dissenters in order to stay in power. In what’s being called the cheapest funeral for a […]

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Baltimore City to Ban Fracking

Baltimore MD – (SatireWorld.com) The newly elected Democratic Baltimore Mayor and the City Council are considering a resolution banning Fracking (Hydraulic Fracturing) for natural gas extraction within the city limits. The aim of the new law is to improve the climate, decrease global warming and to improve the health of the city’s residents.

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SatireWorld Presents…Stars Without Make-up-Photo Edition

Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) They flaunt themselves on big and small screens and draw legions of fans and admirers. But just how glamorous are these over-paid and ego filled stars in real life? Look at these unretouched photos of your favorite stars and see them in a new light….No wonder they’re unhappy and a bit […]

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President-Elect Donald Trump’s Updated Political Lexicon

New York NY – (SatireWorld.com) Republican President-Elect Donald Trump has commissioned a new dictionary for words from A to Z entitled Trumpapedia that removes the liberal/progressive nonsensical spin experienced during the Obama years. Here is a partial list:

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President Trump First Presidential Citation to be Awarded to Departing Barack Obama

Trump Transition Team, NY – (SatireWorld.com) President-elect Donald Trump spoke with reporters for a few minutes today before leaving for Manhattan. He spoke of his immediate plans upon taking the oath of office in January.

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Obama Mulls Candidacy in Cuba’s Election After Fidel Castro’s Passing

Havana, Cuba – (SatireWorld.com) Former President Fidel Castro, who led a rebel army to improbable victory in Cuba, embraced Soviet-style communism, defied the power of 10 U.S. presidents during his half-century rule, and risked world-wide nuclear war has died at age 90.

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Chelsea Clinton Wants to be a Politician like Her Mother Hillary

Chappaqua NY – (SatireWorld.com) Democrat Hillary Clinton lost to Republican Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election. (Republican’s also maintained their majority control of the US Congress.) Following her tantrum, hissy-fit and meltdown Hillary concluded that another corrupt, lying Clinton must continue the line of corruption that Bill and Hillary are famous for.

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Pending ‘Fake News’ Crackdown Will Affect CNN-MSNBC-ABC-NBC Says Confidential Sources

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Sources deep with-in the Obama Administration are claiming the President wants stricter controls over purported ‘fake news’ outlets that could have tilted voter’s ballot choices during the 2016 national elections.

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Politically Correct Titles and More Politically Correct Titles

New York NY – (SatireWorld.com) Mrs. Philbert suggested we get away from Pizmo Beach Pennsyltucky for a few days, now that the 2016 elections were over and only a few “lame ducks” remain in Washington DC. We decided to motor to “The Big Apple” New York City (NYC). Our first mistake was in using Interstate […]

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The Secrets To Avoiding Your Turn At Jury Duty

County Courthouse – (SatireWorld.com) Most people hate receiving a jury summons. This generally requires at least one day off work, downtown traffic and parking, long lines, hurry up and wait, inadequate bathroom facilities, no convenient lunch, losing coins in vending machines, rude and/or overworked employees (city, county, state, or Federal), sitting on un-padded seats in […]

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Millennial Discovers Being An Adult Is Really Hard!

Denver, CO – (SatireWorld.com) Flynn Combs is 25. He’s ‘between jobs’ and struggling to pay off his $250,000 college education loan. He also lives in his parent’s basement and drives a ‘classic car’ notably a 2002 Chevy Cavalier with 175K miles on it. By the way….Flynn Combs is pretty pissed!

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GOP to Democrats…..’Let’s Re-Ignite That Love We Once Had For Each Other’

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The GOP still basking in the shellacking it handed the gobsmacked DNC in the presidential elections of 2016. Politely offered an olive branch of sorts looking to re-ignite the friendly but competitive spirit of bygone days in the political arena.

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Spooky How Trump Hires Cousin Joe To Raise Deportation Posse

Maricopa County, Arizona – (SatireWorld.com) “First thing we gonna do is deport Barack Obama back home to Jamaica,” Maricopa County’s recently deposed sheriff Joe Arpaio said today amid news of his latest appointment as President Trump’s Homeland Insecurity enforcer. As foretold by some guy called Nostradamus in the year 1289.

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PHOTO EDITION-Hillary Used Fake Tears During Concession Speech

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Press reports of possible Hillary Clinton trickery has been reaching the boiling point om social media when it was revealed that Hillary Clinton used a fake tears product prior to addressing her followers at her official concession speech on Wednesday.

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New York Times Reports….Trump Racist!

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) The once respected New York Times, which in recent years was mostly used for bird cage lining, has stepped forward and claimed that President-elect Donald J Trump is racist and is in a conspiracy that will affect black citizens.

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Trump: I Had A Wet Dream

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) What if Donald Trump had the hots for Hillary? Maybe it was all just some weird thing and not politics. Can you imagine!

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Democrats To Retire Party Symbol After Bruising 2016 Defeat

Democratic National Headquarters – (SatireWorld.com) The Democrats party symbol has been around a very long time. Many questioned the use of a simple jackass as their mascot and silently hoped that people would think it was a cute little donkey, but in reality the jackass pretty much summed up what most people thought of the […]

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Trump Win For The Little Guy

New York Post author: Michael Goodwin And so this is how the Obama era of Hope & Change really ends. With the world turned upside down, and with President Obama having to pass the baton to Donald Trump. That is going to be one helluva inauguration.

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Trump Election Protest Jumpers Frustrated Over Golden Gate Bridge Proposed Safety Measures

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com) The City by the Bay citizens and visitors seemed to be showing their election frustration as scores of potential suicidal bridge jumpers arrived at Golden Gate Park each looking for a place in a long line that lead up to the Golden Gate Bridge pedestrian walkway.

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Rocks Become Scare Commodities As Democrats Scramble For Cover

New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com) The buying rush has officially began in parts of the US as hundreds of thousands of former Hillary Clinton supporters rush out to buy new shelter for themselves and their families after the stunning presidential election defeat.

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Hillary Clinton Blames Stunning Presidential Loss on SatireWorld

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Knowing you’re about to get your ass kicked still doesn’t make it any more pleasant when it finally happened to Hillary Clinton. But in Hillary Clinton’s world it’s all the more bitter when it’s done by spoof artist pundits who get a kick out of making douchebags like the Clinton Cabel […]

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Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream Supports BLM

Burlington VT – (SatireWorld.com) Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream Company has joined the Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement. The company posted a statement on its website signed by the founders that identify their positions on issues such as racism, civil rights/equal justice, police shootings of black Americans and that the lives of those people serving […]

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Hillary Clinton Fingered In FBI Surprise Vagina Probe

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) FBI investigators named presidential candidate Hillary Clinton in an ongoing look at election claims that use television ad bites promoting their parties stance on certain issues and uttering supposedly false charges against other candidates. The use of Donald Trump images and the ad’s voice over depicting certain charges of sexual impropriety […]

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To Avoid Long Voter Lines,The DNC Advises Democrats To Vote On Wednesday November 9th

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The Democratic National Committee has requested national TV air time in order to caution fellow Democrats about how to avoid long lines at the polls and to advise them to cast their vote on Wednesday, November 9th when lines at the polls will be considerably shorter.

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SatireWorld Editorial Corner
  • Pentagon Recalls Past Korean Combat Veterans To Counter North Korean Threats
  • The Pentagon – (SatireWorld.com) The manpower pinch coupled with the effects of the sequester is straining Army fitness and readiness standards. Two major conflicts in the last 18 years, and a renewed North Korean threat, has forced the Pentagon’s top brass to re-think ways to fill the ranks of front line defenses with highly trained […]


Turdblossom's Advice Column


POLITICS
  • Alt-Left Demands Racist Mt.Rushmore Be Censored and Destroyed
  • Black Hills, SD – (SatireWorld.com) Federal workers announced an escalated the war by the shadowy Alternate Leftist group Antifa whose activists have demanded Civil War statues be removed and all history be re-written in a manner that soothes anyone’s hurt feelings.



BUSINESS


ENTERTAINMENT


MAGAZINE
  • North Korean Leader Kim Jong-Un Sent To Bed Without His Supper
  • Pyongyang, North Korea – (SatireWorld.com) North Korea vowed on Thursday to launch a preemptive cyber strike against the United States. An unidentified spokesman for Pyongyang’s Foreign Ministry said the North will exercise its right for “a preemptive cyber attack to destroy the strongholds of the aggressors” because the running dogs in Washington are pushing to […]



SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY


SPORTS


UK NEWS


US NEWS
  • Pentagon Recalls Past Korean Combat Veterans To Counter North Korean Threats
  • The Pentagon – (SatireWorld.com) The manpower pinch coupled with the effects of the sequester is straining Army fitness and readiness standards. Two major conflicts in the last 18 years, and a renewed North Korean threat, has forced the Pentagon’s top brass to re-think ways to fill the ranks of front line defenses with highly trained […]



WORLD NEWS
  • Pentagon Recalls Past Korean Combat Veterans To Counter North Korean Threats
  • The Pentagon – (SatireWorld.com) The manpower pinch coupled with the effects of the sequester is straining Army fitness and readiness standards. Two major conflicts in the last 18 years, and a renewed North Korean threat, has forced the Pentagon’s top brass to re-think ways to fill the ranks of front line defenses with highly trained […]



HEADLINES OF THE DAY
  • Pentagon Recalls Past Korean Combat Veterans To Counter North Korean Threats
  • The Pentagon – (SatireWorld.com) The manpower pinch coupled with the effects of the sequester is straining Army fitness and readiness standards. Two major conflicts in the last 18 years, and a renewed North Korean threat, has forced the Pentagon’s top brass to re-think ways to fill the ranks of front line defenses with highly trained […]



LEAD STORIES
  • Blountstown Florida’s Gold Strike Adds Scores of New Millionaires
  • Blountstown, FL – (satireworld.com) The Blountstown Chamber of Commerce released a long anticipated report concerning the effects and repercussions the recent discovery of multiple gold deposits have had on the small rural Florida panhandle community. Massive nuggets and almost pure gold flakes have placed the once sleepy Florida town on the map of richest places […]