Hillary Clinton Claims Brett Kavanaugh Sent Her Inappropriate Emails But She Can’t Find Them

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) Former First Lady, Senator, Presidential Candidate, murderer, traitor, and crooked lawyer Hillary Clinton has revealed that Brett Kavanaugh sent her inappropriate emails of a sexual nature.  Clinton, however, is surprisingly unable to locate the emails.

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Liberal Democratic Senators Smell Up Judiciary Hearing Rooms

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The hearing rooms where the Senate Judiciary Committee meets, both the large and small conference areas, have been closed for maintenance. A foul smell was left by the smear campaign carried out by the 10 committee Democrats questioning Judge Kavanaugh on his confirmation to be an Associate Justice of the Supreme […]

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SatireWorld’s ‘Dumbass Award’ Goes Too….

SatireWorld’s weekly Dumbass Award nominee has been selected and the grand prize awarded during a brief ceremony at Dunkin Donuts….

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Family Members Consider Having Rosie O’Donnell Fixed

Dingleberry Falls, Connecticut – (satireworld.com) Family members, who have all desired to remain anonymous, have admitted that they are considering having Rosie O’Donnell fixed.  “Rosie has been peeing on the furniture and gnawing on table legs and snapping at people, ” admitted one relative.  “She also feels the need to bend herself into weird positions […]

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California’s Trio of Terror Upset People Confusing Them With Horror Movie Characters

California, USA – (satireworld.com) They are not Freddy Kruger, Jason Vorhees, and Pinhead.  They are not Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Mummy.  They are not the Predator, the Alien, and Darth Vader.  They are also not Godzilla, King Kong, and Mothra.  You’d also be wrong with The Wolfman, Chucky the Killer Doll, and Michael Myers.  Dianne […]

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Ivana Phuque and Nastia Phuque to Compete Together as Tennis Doubles on Tour

Stockholm, Sweden – (satireworld.com) Olympic and world champion (Speed skating and pole vault) Ivana Phuque and her sister-in-law Nastia Phuque (a five time Olympic medalist and world champion in gymnastics  herself) have announced their intention to compete as a doubles team on the tennis tour.  Ivana, who previously said that she would compete on the […]

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Alyssa Milano Admits She Was Trying to Increase Her Fifteen Minutes of Fame

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com) Actress Alyssa Milano, who has not been really relevant since starring in Charmed and Who’s the Boss, tried to reinvent her fifteen minutes of fame last week by appearing nearly topless at the Brett Kavanaugh Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings.  Milano, who stated that she was there to support the female accuser […]

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C.D.C. Commissions Study On Effects Of Drinking From Toilets On Dogs

Atlanta, GA – (satireworld.com) The Centers for Disease Control (C.D.C.) has contributed two billion dollars to Georgia Tech University to study the effects of drinking from a toilet on dogs.  The research, to be conducted with several breeds of dogs over five years and in multiple locations, will examine the physical health of the canines, as […]

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Unusual Cave Drawings Found In Sen. Diane Feinstein’s Cleavage

San Francisco, CA – (Satireworld.com) California Senator Diane Feinstein (D-CA) had a recent physical and reports of the odd medical findings were leaked to FOX News. Doctors discovered she is carrying historical artifacts that she never knew she had….Prehistoric cave drawings between her breasts!

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Gay Pride Marchers Beat Two Men To Death For Not Standing For Rainbow Flag

Denver, CO – (satireworld.com) A gay pride march turned violent in Colorado yesterday when two men were beaten to death for not standing when the rainbow flag was carried past them.  Travis Johnson (black heterosexual) and Jack Swanson (white heterosexual) were sitting outside their business (Johnson and Swanson Barber Shop) eating their lunch in Denver […]

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Iranian Ayatollah Demands No One Draw or Take His Picture

Tehran, Iran – (satireworld.com) Iranian Ayatollah Smella Buttholla has demanded that, like Muhammad, no one is to take his picture or to draw/paint/sculpt a caricature or portrait of him.  Buttholla feels that, to attempt to emulate the Islamic prophet, one must act like and be treated like the prophet.

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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom: “The Country Boy Advice Column”

Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I understand about you and your wife and people growing apart. I do want to know if you still communicate with her and what she thinks about your living “biblically” with a bunch of Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

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Los Angeles Police Arrest Entire California Kindergarten For Having Straws in their Juice Boxes

Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com) The kindergarten classes at Che Guevara Elementary School (formerly Ronald Reagan Elementary School) in Los Angeles, California was arrested, along with their teacher, as each child had a plastic straw in their juice box at lunch time.  The juice boxes, brought from home and purchased by their parents, were from […]

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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom; The Country Boy Advice Column

Poontang, AR – (satireworld.com) Howdy All Ya’ll! I’ve been gone for over three years now and guess that everybody figured I was dead or something (cuz I’m a really old fart). Well, the truth is even weirder than that.

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LGBTQ To Found Own Version of Cub Scouts Called Rump Rangers

Spokane, WA – (satireworldf.com) Following the tradition of youth groups such as the Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts, the Junior Birdmen, and the Campfire Girls, the national LGBTQ organization has announced that they will found their own version of the Cub Scouts and Brownies for both boys and girls.  The new group will be called […]

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More Kavanaugh Accusations Revealed

Washington, DC – (satitreworld.com) After the initial three allegations were revealed over a few weeks, a startling number of allegations against Supreme Court Nominee Brett Kavanaugh were revealed just today.  Those allegations include:

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Bargis Tryhol…”I Had Sex With Justice Elena Kagan at an Arby’s Parking lot”

Dooberville, GA – (satireworld.com) As an almost perfect ending to what’s being called ‘Witch Hunt Wednesday,’ SatireWorld editor Bargis Tryhol has gone on public record saying that he ‘slipped the eel to’ Justice Elena Kagan back in 1982 while getting a mocha shake at a local Arbys!

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Fans Mourn Death of Scooby-Doo at Funeral

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com) Forty year old Great Dane Scooby-Doo (exact date of birth unknown as he wasn’t registered) was laid to rest yesterday at a funeral at the Hollywood Park Cemetery; He was too big to be buried in a cardboard box in the backyard.  His grave is between the fire hydrant at the […]

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Anthony Weiner Announces Penis Enhancement Surgery Successful

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) Democratic Politician Anthony Weiner, former member of the House of Representatives and mayoral candidate from New York City, has announced that his penis enhancement surgery was “more than successful!”  Weiner, who is currently in prison for child pornography charges due to a year long sexting scandal with a 15 […]

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Colorado Civil Rights Commission is Harassing Local Businesses Again

Denver CO – (satireworld.com) Jack Phillips, owner of the Masterpiece Cakeshop in suburban Denver, refused to make a wedding cake for a gay couple on religious grounds and was cited by the Colorado Civil Rights Commission (CCRC) for Gay discrimination. The Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) upheld Mr. Phillips refusal. He has now […]

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Breaking News! NY Times Reports Woman Who Claims a ‘Drunk Brett Kavanaugh Stiffed Me!’

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) As Senate Republicans press for a swift vote to confirm Brett Kavanaugh, President Trump’s nominee to the Supreme Court, Senate Democrats are investigating a new allegation of misconduct against Kavanaugh. The claim dates to the 1983-84 academic school year, when Kavanaugh was a freshman at Yale University and visited […]

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70’s Isis Star Claims She’s Not A Terrorist

Pittsburgh, PA – (satireworld.com) Joanna Cameron, star of the mid-1970’s Saturday morning television series Isis, claims that she is not in any way affiliated with the terrorist group ISIS (called ISIL by some Democrats to show support for and pander to Syria).  She says that “yes, my show is named after the Egyptian goddess and […]

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F.D.A. To Fund Study To Discover The Way The Cookie Crumbles

Palo Alto, CA – (satireworld.com) “That’s the way the cookie crumbles” is an expression that has been around since the 1920’s.  The exact origin of the phrase is unknown, but it is used as another way to say “that’s life.”  Researchers at Stanford University have received a three billion dollar grant from the Food and […]

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Brit Spooks Bugged Trump During 2014 Turdberry Purchase: Report

London – (SatireWorld.com) A bounced Czech and botched drive-by shooting outside the home of Scotland’s Turdberry Golf Course owner kick-started a lengthy investigation into Don T Rump’s offshore financial arrangements insider sources said today.

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Ben & Jerry’s Founders Creating Democrat-Inspired Ice Cream Flavors to ‘Take Back Congress’

Concord, NH – (satireworld.com) The duo behind Ben & Jerry’s ice cream is hoping to “take back Congress” by creating Democrat-inspired flavors. Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield are teaming up with social justice organization MoveOn to create a contest to support seven progressive candidates ahead of the midterm elections.

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“Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong” Is New Iranian National Anthem

Tehran,Iran: Word from the Middle East today reports that the country of Iran has named a variation of the old Edsel’s doo-wop song as their new national anthem.  “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong,” a modified version of “Rama Lama Ding Dong,” will now be the country’s official song and will be played at the Olympics (should […]

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Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque To Compete in LPGA Tour

Stockholm, Sweden – (satireworld.com) Swedish Olympic Athlete Ivana Phuque, who has won speed skating medals in the Winter Olympics and pole vaulting medals in the Summer Olympics, has decided to expand her activities to include golf.  She will compete in the 2019 LPGA tour.

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Ronco and The Franklin Mint Combine with Democratic Party on Commemorative Plate Set

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) As a fund raiser for the 2020 Presidential Election, the Democratic Party has contracted with Ronco and The Franklin Mint to release a series of commemorative plates.  They will include such famous party individuals as Bill Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, and others.

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Emergency Room Admissions To Soar On Trump’s FEMA Text Alert Trial

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Thursday’s debut of the Presidential Alert of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System hit a bum note today with proctologists warning of ‘potentially dire consequences’ as telecoms providers promised to crank up cell phone tones and vibration functions ahead of the anticipated trial.

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Maxine Waters Fails Hearing Test

Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com) California Democrat Maxine Waters became flustered at a recent rally where she called for ‘impeachment’ but couldn’t hear her own words. Afterward, close confidants and aides suggested that the 78 year old congresswoman get her hearing tested.

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SatireWorld Editorial Corner
  • Senator Chuck Revealed to be Owner of Schumer’s Bloomers
  • Brooklyn, NY – (satireworld.com) The source of the Schumer family fortune has been found with the discovery that New York Democratic Senator Charles Ellis “Chuck” Schumer is secretly the owner of Schumer’s Bloomers, a woman’s lingerie store located throughout Western Europe.  Not only is the Senator the owner, but is also the President, founder, designer, […]


Turdblossom's Advice Column


POLITICS
  • Al Gore Discovers a New Environmental Bogeyman
  • Washington DC- (satireworld.com) Former Vice President Al Gore (supposed inventor of the Internet), noted predictor of dire, non-occurring, environmental calamities since 2000 spoke before the International Brassiere Manufacturers Association (IBMA) convention. He cautioned that the effect of plastics and oil based synthetic fibers used in Bra manufacturing are affecting the oceans of the world.



BUSINESS
  • Hawaiian Restaurant Offers Free Lay With Every Dessert
  • Boing, HI – (satireworld.com) A typo is causing major problems for a Honolulu restaurant.  Keola’s Roast Pig is having problems honoring their offer of “a free lay with every dessert” as it was supposed to “a free leia (or lei) with every dessert.”  Restaurant owner Keola Paccuci is blaming the error on spellcheck, which does […]



ENTERTAINMENT


MAGAZINE
  • Female Football Fan Uses Men’s Urinal During Game
  • Jacksonville, FL – (satireworld.com) Different genders using or misusing public restrooms, has been a topic of frequent discussion on social media. Many approve. Many not so much. However, on Sunday a female Panthers fan gave the bathroom debate a visual no one will soon forget.



SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY
  • Al Gore Discovers a New Environmental Bogeyman
  • Washington DC- (satireworld.com) Former Vice President Al Gore (supposed inventor of the Internet), noted predictor of dire, non-occurring, environmental calamities since 2000 spoke before the International Brassiere Manufacturers Association (IBMA) convention. He cautioned that the effect of plastics and oil based synthetic fibers used in Bra manufacturing are affecting the oceans of the world.



SPORTS
  • Female Football Fan Uses Men’s Urinal During Game
  • Jacksonville, FL – (satireworld.com) Different genders using or misusing public restrooms, has been a topic of frequent discussion on social media. Many approve. Many not so much. However, on Sunday a female Panthers fan gave the bathroom debate a visual no one will soon forget.



UK NEWS
  • Ayatollah Removed From Manchester Petting Zoo on England State Visit
  • Manchester, UK – (satireworld.com) The Ayatollah Smella Buttholla, in England on a state visit to speak to Moslem/Muslim immigrants and to secure preferential treatment for his people, was removed by police from a Manchester petting zoo today.  The Iranian religious leader was, according to upset parents and crying children, “doing nasty things with the sheep […]



US NEWS
  • Al Gore Discovers a New Environmental Bogeyman
  • Washington DC- (satireworld.com) Former Vice President Al Gore (supposed inventor of the Internet), noted predictor of dire, non-occurring, environmental calamities since 2000 spoke before the International Brassiere Manufacturers Association (IBMA) convention. He cautioned that the effect of plastics and oil based synthetic fibers used in Bra manufacturing are affecting the oceans of the world.



WORLD NEWS
  • Al Gore Discovers a New Environmental Bogeyman
  • Washington DC- (satireworld.com) Former Vice President Al Gore (supposed inventor of the Internet), noted predictor of dire, non-occurring, environmental calamities since 2000 spoke before the International Brassiere Manufacturers Association (IBMA) convention. He cautioned that the effect of plastics and oil based synthetic fibers used in Bra manufacturing are affecting the oceans of the world.



HEADLINES OF THE DAY
  • Senator Chuck Revealed to be Owner of Schumer’s Bloomers
  • Brooklyn, NY – (satireworld.com) The source of the Schumer family fortune has been found with the discovery that New York Democratic Senator Charles Ellis “Chuck” Schumer is secretly the owner of Schumer’s Bloomers, a woman’s lingerie store located throughout Western Europe.  Not only is the Senator the owner, but is also the President, founder, designer, […]



LEAD STORIES
  • In Honor of Veteran’s Day… A Serious Note from SatireWorld
  • Please forward this today to everyone on your e-mail list in remembrance of all who have ever worn the uniform…and gave their yesterdays that we could have our tomorrows.  This is the 100th anniversary of the Armistice that ended World War 1.  Remember that “all gave some, but some gave all.”