SatireWorld’s Douchebag of the Week…..Gov. Andrew Cuomo

Albany, NY – SatireWorld’s staff of writers has voted New York Governor Andrew Cuomo as it’s headliner…Douchebag-of-the-Week.

Full Story

FBI Fingers Hillary Clinton In Surprise Vagina Probe

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Senior FBI investigators named ex-presidential candidate Hillary Clinton as a credible source in an ongoing look at election claims which used television ad bites to promote the Democratic party’s stance on certain controversial issues and uttering supposedly false charges against other candidates.

Full Story

Chelsea Clinton: Abortions Have Helped US Economy

New York City, NY- (satireworld.com) NINCOMPOOP REPORT Chelsea Clinton praised the Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision of 1973 that legalized abortion on Saturday,then backtracked claiming abortion were available seven-days a week. Embarrassed by the gaffe, Clinton went on saying abortions helped add $3.5 trillion to the U.S. economy. Chelsea, the only child of Hillary […]

Full Story

Job Deadbeat Omarosa Manigualt Bounced Around The Clinton Administration Too

Washington, DC – The Trump White House is not the first to be unsatisfied with the work performance of Omarosa Manigault, the former senior Trump staffer who already released secretly recorded conversations she had with the president and Chief of Staff John Kelly.

Full Story

The Four Democratic Jackasses of the Apocalypse

Washington DC: The prophesy of the four Democratic Jackasses of the Apocalypse is foretold in the last chapters of the Democratic National Committee (DNC) Book of Socialist Moron Politicians. The four Jackasses are symbols of the different events which will take place when the American people, in conjunction with the Republican Party, finally confront and […]

Full Story

International Diplomacy Latest: Canadian PM Trudeau ‘Named After Discredited Contraceptive Method’ Say Saudis

Ottawa, Canada -(SatireWorld.com) “Justin was conceived via the notorious Withdrawal Method of family planning,” Middle East geneticists claimed today amid an escalating Saudi-Canadian diplomatic spat, “that’s why he’s called Just-In, his Pa couldn’t get out in time.”

Full Story

The 10 Most Destructive Americans Of The Last 8 Decades

Land of the Free – America has undergone enormous change during our lives. Today, America is a bitterly divided, poorly educated and morally fragile society with so-called mainstream politicians pushing cynical identity politics, socialism and wide open borders.

Full Story

‘King of Pop’ Michael Jackson’s Autopsy Results Finally Released

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Dr. Rami Gushinari finally released to the public the official 25 page LA Coroner’s report on Michael Jackson. The ‘King of Pop’ died from a drug overdose and was laid to rest in Woodlawn Cemetery for the Elite and Pompous more than 10 years ago.

Full Story

Trump: ‘Hillary’s Health Issues Tied To Kick Starting Her Vibrator’

Des Moines, Iowa – (satireworld.com) At a Wednesday press conference in Iowa President Donald Trump addressed his concerns about his past opponent’s health and vitality and especially the reports she was wearing a medical alert device. He also questioned her ability to properly function without succumbing to bouts of pain in which she might require […]

Full Story

Biden/Holder-2020 Duck Boat Tour Targets US Swim States

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) Democratic Party presidential hopefuls Joe Biden and Eric Holder will be debuting the start of their 2020 campaign next week with a tour of crucial US sink-or-swim states.

Full Story

SatireWorld’s………. Photos Of The Day

Full Story

A San Francisco Resident Complains

San Francisco CA- A complaint has been received by the San Francisco Board of Supervisors from a long-time Democratic Congresswoman, resident in the “City by the Bay!” The issue is that people are leaving more than their hearts on the sidewalks and roadways of San Francisco!

Full Story

Meet Harold Schlumberg…An Inspiring Senior

Corpus Christi, TX – As we get older, we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to “make a difference” in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of seniors who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither.

Full Story

Hillary Now Blames 2016 Loss On Lack Of Male Heir

New York City, NY – Hillary Clinton excuse number 74 (we know you’ve been counting) as to why her 2016 presidential campaign imploded during voting and underdog Donald Trump won….The new excuse that has people’s heads churning even more in disbelief is…Her lack of a male heir.

Full Story

1500 Mile Appalachian Trail Paved Bike Path Gets EPA Thumbs Up

Washington, DC – Policy changes in national parks primitive area usage rested upon a pending decision by both the EPA and Interior Department over allowing full access to natural trail systems by handicapped and other physically limited users.

Full Story

Happenings This Week in Tehran Iran

Tehran Iran: IRNA the Iranian News Service has announced that The Islamic Republic of Iran has adopted a more outwardly warm and fuzzy attitude to attract western and eastern nations to do business and attract tourists to come to Iran. “Death to America” and “Death to Israel” shouted in the presence of foreign tourists will […]

Full Story

The California Golden State Oldies Sing Their Favorite Golden Oldies

San Francisco CA – (satireworld.com) Representative Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Representative “Mad” Maxine Waters (D-CA) jointly announced that they are going on a US tour in 2019 as a singing duet called “The California Golden State Oldies.”

Full Story

Congresswoman Maxine Waters Tied To Kidnapping Plot Says FBI

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) A spokesman for the FBI unveiled a plot against a Congresswoman today at a press conference in Los Angeles. The thwarted crime was supposedly formulated by Trump supporters said FBI field agent Henry Winnebago. The charges included to ‘kidnap and extort Administration critic California Congresswoman Maxine Waters, by using a trap-like […]

Full Story

Brits Mull Trump’s Fluorine Chickens Trade Deal

London – (SatireWorld.com) The United States Chicken Bureau said today that President Rump would be pushing hard during his upcoming state visit to sell Brits millions of fluoridated American chickens in a landmark trade deal.

Full Story

Justice Kennedy Resignation On 30th Anniversary Of Diaper Changing Provision At SCOTUS Robing Rooms

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) The 1988 introduction of baby changing mats, breast pumps and comfy breastfeeding support chairs at the US Supreme Court judges’ locker rooms came as a surprise to incumbent Associate Justices as they welcomed new male jurist Anthony McLeod Kennedy to their ranks.

Full Story

Local Farmer Complains of ‘Sore Nose’ After Visit By History Channel’s American Pickers

Dawson, GA-(satireworld.com) Georgia Farmer Elmer Cadfrey thought Tuesday’s visit by the History Channel’s American Pickers would be a profitable day for him and a chance to unload a lifetime of junk he collected in two of his three large Civil war era barns. Sadly, he spent most of the day down at the Dawson Health […]

Full Story

Mickey Mouse to Run for President in 2020

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Former President Barack Obama met secretly with at least nine prospective 2020 Democratic presidential candidates, including Socialist Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT), Senator Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren (D-MA), former VP Joe “Shotgun” Biden (D-DE) and former Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick. At least 15 big donor Hollywood stars were turned away!

Full Story

Golden Showers Update: Possession Is Nine-Tenths Of The Law Exorcists Tell Robert Mueller

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) Psycho-surgeons at the Russia Investigation say a succubus – or female sex demon – may have sucked out the President’s brain and laid an egg in the flaccid cavity. So expect more crazy hatch-lings to soon pop out.

Full Story

Democrats Stage Surprise Visit to Juvenile Detainee Camp-Find It So Nice 3 Plan To Stay

Elizabeth, NJ – (satireworld.com) A group of Democratic lawmakers paid a surprise un-authorized visit to a immigrant detention facility in New Jersey on Father’s Day to speak with asylum-seekers who have been separated from their families under a new Trump administration policy.

Full Story

Hillary Receives the Prestigious EMF Award From the NAACP

Chappaqua NY- (satireworld.com) Former Democratic President Bill Clinton and failed 2016 Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton’s home is in the small Westchester County town of Chappaqua NY. The town, not far from New York City (NYC), demographically has 1400 residents of which 2.5% are Hispanic and there are zero African Americans.

Full Story

Miss America Organization Drops Swimsuit Competition

Atlantic City, NJ – (satireworld.com) The Miss America Organization announced today an end to the swimsuit portion of its competition and the practice of judging contestants specifically on their outward appearance.

Full Story

Howdy Doody Moody Rudy

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Presidential sock puppet Rudi Giuliani has been captured on CCTV pimping out a pile of steaming turds ‘like some sort of considered legal opinion’ an Oval Orifice janitor said today.

Full Story

Trump at White House Prison Summit…. Kim Kardashian Has A Really Fat Ass

The White House – (satireworld.com) After a much heralded meeting about prison reform Donald Trump had off hand remarks about Kim Kardashian’s large ass…Yes, you heard it here first!

Full Story

You Can Keep Your Plastic Straws If You Like!

Polar Bear Alaska: MacDougal’s Fast Fish Cafe shareholders have rejected a proposal asking the firm to report on its use of plastic straws. This is the latest part of a campaign backed by the self-appointed activist group Environmental Wackos of California (EWOC) pressuring the firm to ban certain food packaging items. The idea won less […]

Full Story

Elton John Upset That He Wan’t Biggest Queen At Royal Wedding

Westminster Kennel Show….opps Royal Wedding! (SatireWorld.com) British singer Elton John was upset at the Royal Wedding to see that he wasn’t “the biggest Queen” in attendance. He felt that his presence was upstaged by that of Queen Elizabeth II at the marriage of her grandson, Prince Harry, to Meagan the American Commoner….AKA The Hollywood Princess.

Full Story
SatireWorld Editorial Corner
  • “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong” Is New Iranian National Anthem
  • Tehran,Iran: Word from the Middle East today reports that the country of Iran has named a variation of the old Edsel’s doo-wop song as their new national anthem.  “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong,” a modified version of “Rama Lama Ding Dong,” will now be the country’s official song and will be played at the Olympics (should […]


Turdblossom's Advice Column


POLITICS


BUSINESS


ENTERTAINMENT
  • “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong” Is New Iranian National Anthem
  • Tehran,Iran: Word from the Middle East today reports that the country of Iran has named a variation of the old Edsel’s doo-wop song as their new national anthem.  “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong,” a modified version of “Rama Lama Ding Dong,” will now be the country’s official song and will be played at the Olympics (should […]



MAGAZINE


SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY
  • Emergency Room Admissions To Soar On Trump’s FEMA Text Alert Trial
  • New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Thursday’s debut of the Presidential Alert of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System hit a bum note today with proctologists warning of ‘potentially dire consequences’ as telecoms providers promised to crank up cell phone tones and vibration functions ahead of the anticipated trial.



SPORTS
  • Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque To Compete in LPGA Tour
  • Stockholm, Sweden – (satireworld.com) Swedish Olympic Athlete Ivana Phuque, who has won speed skating medals in the Winter Olympics and pole vaulting medals in the Summer Olympics, has decided to expand her activities to include golf.  She will compete in the 2019 LPGA tour.



UK NEWS


US NEWS
  • Emergency Room Admissions To Soar On Trump’s FEMA Text Alert Trial
  • New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Thursday’s debut of the Presidential Alert of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System hit a bum note today with proctologists warning of ‘potentially dire consequences’ as telecoms providers promised to crank up cell phone tones and vibration functions ahead of the anticipated trial.



WORLD NEWS
  • “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong” Is New Iranian National Anthem
  • Tehran,Iran: Word from the Middle East today reports that the country of Iran has named a variation of the old Edsel’s doo-wop song as their new national anthem.  “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong,” a modified version of “Rama Lama Ding Dong,” will now be the country’s official song and will be played at the Olympics (should […]



HEADLINES OF THE DAY
  • “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong” Is New Iranian National Anthem
  • Tehran,Iran: Word from the Middle East today reports that the country of Iran has named a variation of the old Edsel’s doo-wop song as their new national anthem.  “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong,” a modified version of “Rama Lama Ding Dong,” will now be the country’s official song and will be played at the Olympics (should […]



LEAD STORIES
  • “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong” Is New Iranian National Anthem
  • Tehran,Iran: Word from the Middle East today reports that the country of Iran has named a variation of the old Edsel’s doo-wop song as their new national anthem.  “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong,” a modified version of “Rama Lama Ding Dong,” will now be the country’s official song and will be played at the Olympics (should […]