Hyannisport Cemetery Workers Place Concrete Weights On The Late Senator Ted Kennedy’s Grave

by on 23/03/11 at 6:38 am

Meanwhile in Purgatory...While taking a break from a game of cards and drinking, Ted's friends clue him in on the recent 2016 election results.

Senator Warren says her Indian heritage should make her a shoo-in for a future image on a US quarter.

Senator Warren says her Indian heritage should make her a shoo-in for a future image on a US quarter.


Hyannisport.MA-(SatireWorld.com)

Workers at the Oldsmobile Memorial Cemetery in Hyannisport Massachusetts were busy today placing 30 ton concrete blocks upon the grave site of one of the Democratic party’s most revered Senators…Senator Ted Kennedy!

Ever since his home state's constituent’s turn-about in terms of electing a lightweight Indian wannabee to fill the Senator's vacancy due to his death from a brain tumor, the body of dear old Ted was found to be spinning at speeds up to 2,200 RPM, reportedly disturbing other interned persons in nearby plots. Several adjacent plot owners agreed that when the political landscape began to change in 2016, the spinning had increased remarkably.

Cemetery spokesman, Delbert Finch, first heard the low rumbling when reports of ex-President Barack Obama’s dipping polls showed concerns that the Democratic party’s long-term hold over voters was reported as slipping.

" By the time 2016 arrived and Donald Trump won the Presidency the ground was vibrating so bad we had to have to have it examined by a sonar imaging system, " claims Finch.

The images generated by the sonar device showed the dead, but still fat, Senator spinning so fast that his facial images were a complete blur. Complaints from relatives in neighboring burial plots motivated the cemetery staff to place weights on the ex-Senator's grave site.

"I guess we'll keep them there until after the 2018 elections. I have a feeling old Teddy will be imitating a spinning top by that time."

Reports that Massachusetts Power and Light were going to harness ‘Spinning Ted’ for needed power during the recent low weather temperatures and connect him to the grid were erroneous, says Al Gore who instructed aides to find a way to convert the Senator’s spinning and the vast amounts of methane he was emitting into a usable power source.

Workers had extra weights available just in case the late Senator somehow gets word of the problems other Democrats are facing nationwide ever since Trump became Prresident.



One Response to “Hyannisport Cemetery Workers Place Concrete Weights On The Late Senator Ted Kennedy’s Grave”

  1. World Spinner

    Mar 26th, 2011

    Hyannisport Cemetery Workers Place Concrete Weights On The Late ……

    Here at World Spinner we are debating the same thing……

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