by Steely Beast on 28/03/12 at 10:39 amCaspar,WY – (SatireWorld.com)
Resting comfortably after a grueling 8 hour heart transplant, 72 year old Dick Cheney says he feels fine and is ready for the next passages in his life. To emphasize his newly-found robustness, the ex-VP bench pressed a 200lb bar bell and slugged down a body building vanilla shake.
“I feel so great, I’ve instructed my support staff to pave the way for a future presidentail run,” quipped the Wyoming native as he playfully slapped the behind of a nearby towel attendant.
Cheney, who’s served more US Presidents than any other living soul, says it’s his time now after suffering through 17 heart attacks, a pacemaker operation, and several dog bites from rabid Democrats. “I feel I can run the Boston marathon next year and that should shake up old Lurch the Butler! (a direct barb at Senator John Kerry)
So, what’s next for Cheney in his immediate future as he waits for 2016? More surgery according to aides close to him. “The VP will be getting a penis transplant next, ” says senior staffer Hans Blowfield, “he’s already gotten a catalog and has already picked out a whopper!”
On the Democratic side, Nancy Pelosi was heard to remark to her associates during lunch when she heard of Cheney’s immediate plans…”That makes me gag!”