by Optic Nerve on 31/03/13 at 11:38 amParis, France- (SatireWorld.com)
Not waiting for shots to be fired in their direction, the French government officially hoisted a gigantic white flag over Paris this morning signaling their intent to capitulate to North Korean demands made earlier this week by Kim Jong Un.
French President Francois Hollande-Sauce, spoke tearfully on French television saying how humiliated the country was after surrendering without a shot, but ended with a positive note about how the country will get to view some soldiers ‘who march real nice’ in the next few weeks.
Across the country French troops quietly laid down rifles and pistols at any local Korean restaurant they could find open and removed all uniform patches before the midnight deadline.
Threatened with a massive missle strike from the North Korean Army, French officials deliberated for 15 minutes before accepting the ultimatum from the North Korean embassy and immediately lowered the French flag. NATO was notified of the surrender, but return calls were not accepted, even after a NATO General told French officals that the Koreans ‘did’t have any missle that can reach Paris!’
As part of the surrender agreement, France will yield control of the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower, all vineyards in southern France, and immediately ship 200,000 cases of cognac to North Korea. In addition, President Hollande-Sauce must walk under the Arch De Triumph in his underpants before world cameras on Bastille Day.
‘Dear Leader’ Kim Jong Un later added to the surrender terms, stating that a dinner-for-two along with former French first lady Carla Bruni would go a long way to patch up differences between the two countries.
The international incident started last week when France refused to ship a ‘step stool’ frequently used by ex-president Nickolas Sarkosy to North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. Jong Un successfully bid for the item on a popular bidding site online.
Now being referred to as ‘the height challenged incident,’ the US has stepped in to help by offering to give Kim Jong Un a step stool once used by actor Tom Cruise.
Oh! By the way Happy April Fool’s Day!