Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”

by on 09/07/13 at 8:50 pm

Obama says working is for dummies and Republicans Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom,

I heard a couple of statistics today that just blew my mind.

It seems that the number of people working full time jobs in the private sector in the United States is slightly over 97 million.  The number of people, however, receiving free food from the government is now over 101 million!

We’ve now reached the point where we’ve got more people in this country on the dole than people working to pay for that dole.  There are more people riding in the grocery cart than are pushing or pulling that same grocery cart through the check out line.

At this point, I am ready to give up.  I don’t want to work any more to pay for all those lazy folks who can’t work for their own food.  I don’t mind helping those folks who are physically or mentally handicapped or a person who is temporarily down on their luck…. but 1/3 of all the people in this country don’t meet those conditions!  That’s right, the number on food support is now 1/3 of all the people!

With obesity and drug/alcohol/tobacco addictions now being considered diseases (these conditions are actually “choices” and not “diseases” or “disabilities”), even more people are going on the government nickel every day.

It isn’t “give a man a fish and he eats for a day, but teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime….” because these people are too lazy to even fish!  That might keep them from being able to watch the Jerry Springer show or Oprah or Telemundo.

The latest government amnesty plan is just another push by the Democrats to give the vote to an extra fifteen to twenty million people just to buy that vote back with more free food, housing, medical care, cell phones, education, etc.

I tried voting out the Democrats in the last election, but when the number of folks getting assistance from the government outnumbers the number of working people, and those on the welfare don’t want to lose their “Obama money,” it was obvious how the election was going to turn out.  It isn’t going to change in the near future either.

Obamacare is about to destroy business in this country and lower the number of workers in the private sector because a lot of small business is about to go out of business.

Michael Dukakis was probably the last Democrat that tried to make people work for their government assistance.  As soon as he was no longer governor of Massachusetts, the next Democrat in office got rid of his “workfare” programs and the term has never been used (or even suggested) in the halls of power again.

Where does it end?  What can we do?

John Q. Public  Jobsite, USA

Dear John Q. Public,

Unfortunately, you can’t stop a social program or you won’t get reelected.  Even if the Republicans manage to win back the White House in 2016, they will not have the courage to pull the plug on the spending.  All those politicians would be afraid of not getting reelected and would want to protect their positions.

I heard them announce last week on the NBC Nightly News that the recession was over.  Yep, 7.6% unemployment, a $400 billion deficit, underemployment for millions, and NBC thinks that Happy Days Are Here Again!

I honestly think it is going to take either total economic collapse or a Civil War to turn things around.  If the second one happens, I’m heading to Texas.  If it is the first one, I think we’d all better get ready to start wearing burkhas, speaking Arabic, humping goats, and acting like the rest of the Shi’ite heads. 


Today’s Observation From Throckmorton P. Turdblossom:  The Obama backed government in Egypt has already collapsed after only one year.  Why can’t the Obama backed government in the United States collapse too?


2 Responses to “Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column””

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Jul 10th, 2013

    Remember Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand), the 97 million full time workers might one day just quit.

  2. Skoob

    Jul 20th, 2013


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