by Bargis Tryhol on 28/08/13 at 1:52 pmParis, France- (SatireWorld.com)
Not waiting for shots to be fired in their direction while the US bombs Syria over poison gas usage against its own civilians, the French government officially hoisted a gigantic white flag over Paris this morning signaling their intent to capitulate to Syrian demands made by Syrian President Assad as he symbolically crushed a croissant on al jazerra TV on Monday.
French President Francois Hollande-Sauce, spoke tearfully on French television saying how humiliated the country was after surrendering without a shot, but ended with a positive note about how the country will get to view some soldiers ‘who march real nice’ in the next few weeks.
Across the country French troops quietly laid down rifles and pistols at any local Syrian restaurant they could find open and removed all uniform patches before the midnight deadline.
Threatened with a massive missle strike from the Syrian Army, French officials deliberated for 15 minutes before accepting the ultimatum from the Syrian embassy and immediately lowered the French flag. NATO was notified of the surrender, but return calls were not accepted, even after a flabbergasted NATO General told French officals that the Syrians ‘did’t have any missle that can possibly reach Tel Aviv much less Paris!’
As part of the surrender agreement, France will yield control of the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower, all vineyards in southern France, immediately ship 200,000 cases of cognac and 477 certified French Virgins to Syria. In addition, President Hollande-Sauce must walk under the Arch De Triumph in his underpants before world cameras on Bastille Day.
President Assad later added to the surrender terms, stating that a dinner-for-two along with former French first lady Carla Bruni would go a long way to patch up differences between the two countries.
The international incident started last week when France refused to ship a ‘step stool’ frequently used by ex-president Nickolas Sarkosy to North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. Jong Un successfully bid for the item on a popular bidding site online and the refusal of France to ship the stool to North Korea infuriated Syria which is a steadfast North Korean ally and trading partner.
Now being referred to as ‘the height challenged incident,’ the US has stepped in to help by offering to give Kim Jong Un a step stool once used by actor Tom Cruise.