Bill Clinton: “Contrary to Ed Klein’s Book, Hillary Does Not Have Acute Angina’

by on 23/06/14 at 6:41 am

In March, Hillary did comment on  Christine Aguilera's health by saying she had a great set of lungs.

In March, Hillary commented on Christine Aguilera’s health by saying she had a great set of lungs.

Washington DC – (satireworld.com)

Ed Klein’s newly released book ‘Blood Feud’ revealed that ex- Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has a heart ailment that she has kept secret hoping to avoid controversy that would hinder her chances to become president in 2016. Clinton addressed her physical ailments before a questioning press corp today in lieu of reports that she recently visited a gynecologist and heart specialist in New York City. Rumors are now swirling that Hillary might drop out of the race and not seek the 2016 Presidential nomination from her party.

In front of almost 120 reporters, Hillary Clinton spoke calmly and directly to the gathering. “Yes, I have an ongoing condition and Bill is helping look after it for me,” stated the teary-eyed ex-First Lady.

Kate Snow, ABC News expressed sympathy as she asked, “Exactly what is the condition Mrs. Clinton?”

“According to the doctor, I have Acute Angina,” replied Ms. Clinton, “I know, this is contrary to to what most folks in this room would like to believe, but it’s entirely true. Yes, Bill knows it very well since he’s had to live with it for many, many years now.”

‘The once smiling and friendly mainstream media crowd fell silent for a moment, not believing what was just broadcast over the hook up to the national media and cable news. Soon a spreading ripple of laughter turned into a full roar as the perplexed Mrs. Clinton realized her health condition was fully misunderstood by the group due to the poor acoustics in the heavily draped room and she hastily tried to backtrack but the damage was already done,’ claims Ed Klein in his book.

Within hours, husband Bill Clinton reiterated Hillary’s press miss-quote by explaining to listeners at a Democratic fundraiser that indeed, Hillary DOES NOT have a cute vagina.



10 Responses to “Bill Clinton: “Contrary to Ed Klein’s Book, Hillary Does Not Have Acute Angina’”

  1. E. Williams

    Jun 23rd, 2014

    I imagine her vagina is a barren wasteland, with tumbleweeds blowing by, and covered with thick cobwebs. Sorry for ruining everybody’s lunch. Nice one, Bargis.

    • Bargis

      Jun 23rd, 2014

      Thanks EW, appreciate the nice comment! As far as Hillary’s vagina, I imagine scabs and worms and several crooked signs with skull and cross bones on it..Not sure what Cap would visualize…..

  2. E. Williams

    Jun 23rd, 2014

    Cap might say, “There’s a sign at the entrance to it that says ‘Vagina for rent. Extremely low mileage. Only used once. Enter at your own risk.”

    • Bargis

      Jun 23rd, 2014

      Cap would probably spray it with a dose of Agent Orange, sprinkle a handful plutonium dust, allow coal smoke to seep out of her bloomers, and then call Al Gore and the EPA and make a complaint

  3. captain america

    Jun 24th, 2014

    Cap (in his younger days) would say: once you got past the smell you’ve got it licked!…..

    Henry Waxman nose it’s true!

    Bargis, btw, knows everything about keeping things chilled in his other life as “the iceman” for Disney and The Tunnel of love!

    Evil thinks she’s got “teeth down there”…don’t tell him she puts them in a glass of scope before getting into bed!

  4. Jalapenoman

    Jun 24th, 2014

    The expression “colder than a witch’s tit” should probably be used here also, as I doubt Hillary has a “hot box” in her nether regions.

  5. Philbert of Macadamia

    Jun 24th, 2014

    Obama is always sticking his nose into other people’s business; wonder what he will do about Hillary’s…………..?

  6. captain america

    Jun 24th, 2014

    ….they don’t call him Pinochio for nothing!

    The boy’s got WOOD!

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