Pelosi Finally Gets Committed After Saying ‘GOP Winning Senate Would End Civilization’

by on 14/09/14 at 6:35 am

CULINARY SERVICES JUST LIKE A RESORT Head chef Butch Murdock prepares each meal like it was for his mother back in Ireland. First class ingredients with a classical old world touch!

CULINARY SERVICES JUST LIKE A RESORT
Head chef Butch Murdock prepares each meal like it was for his mother back in Ireland. First class ingredients with a classical old world touch includes the chef’s world-famous Mongolian Goulash!

FRESH AIR IS OUR SECRET! Several datys after surgery Nancy(left front) is up and about taking a fresh-air stroll with fellow inmates

FRESH AIR IS OUR SECRET!
Several datys after surgery Nancy(left front) is up and about taking a fresh-air stroll with other Moorview patients

Dr. Angus Ward calls Nancy's family after a resectioning of the Congresswoman's frontal lobe that eased her suffering.

PROFESSIONAL CARE IS JOB ONE! Dr. Angus Ward calls Nancy’s family after a resectioning of the Congresswoman’s frontal lobe that eased her odd outburts.

Soon after a lobotomy and several courses of electro-shock therapy, Nancy Pelosi rested comfortably with a heavy morphine drip.

OUR PATIENTS RECOVER QUICKER Soon after a lobotomy and several courses of electro-shock therapy, Nancy Pelosi rested comfortably with a heavy morphine drip and several bowls of Ben & Jerry’s.

THE LOBOTOMY SURGICAL CENTER Hospital facilities are first-class at Moorview and they participate in all government insurance plans.

THE LOBOTOMY SURGICAL CENTER

Hospital facilities are first-class at Moorview Institute and they participate in all government and private insurance plans.

The Moorview staff were eager to help the sticken Congresswoman and promised a speedy lobotomy

TRAINED STAFF WITH A CARING HEART The Moorview staff were eager to help the sticken Congresswoman and promised a speedy lobotomy with lots of yummy ice cream and healthy electro-shocks administered in a soothing ice water bath.

San Francisco, CA – (satireworld.com)

House Minority leader Nancy Pelosi has finally been committed to the famous Moorview Institute for her own good, as well as the benefit of the rest of society. All that is really known about the facility is that it is located in California, is a maximum security institution, and is used mostly for the politically insane.

The facility currently houses both Democrats and Republicans, most of whom stayed in office too long and began to suffer from brain rot and political correctness, a deadly disease that destroys ones ability to exercise common sense.

Pelosi appeared last night on Bill Maher’s HBO show, Real Time and, during the show, she made conflicting statements about her views. First, she said civilization as we know it would end if the Republicans took control of the Senate in the upcoming midterm elections, clearly fear mongering to viewers. She followed that brilliant statement by saying that Democrats do not employ fear mongering tactics and, instead, talk about and offer hope to the country.

It was after these statements that health officials entered the studio immediately after the show ended, shot Pelosi at close range with a tranquilizer dart, bagged and tagged her (putting her in a straightjacket), and relocated her to the unnamed asylum. Several of the officials admitted having supported Pelosi in the past but these statements were even more than they could take. They conceded that, honestly, Nanny Nancy should have been put away long ago.

When asked by reporters what the facility was like on the inside and what kind of treatment Pelosi would receive during her indefinite stay, officials said she would receive intense therapy, electric shock, blood letting, and science classes to help her understand Al Gore’s ponzi scheme and why global warming is a scam.

Doctors will also try to determine where Pelosi’s strange comments originate from and said, “We will have to open up Nancy’s brain to see what’s inside her brain.”

One insider told us they believe Harry Reid used to be a former patient at Moorview and had escaped a number of years ago because the cell next to Pelosi’s has numerous markings, sketches, and paintings covering the walls with references to the Koch Bros.



10 Responses to “Pelosi Finally Gets Committed After Saying ‘GOP Winning Senate Would End Civilization’”

  1. Walter Bucket

    Sep 14th, 2014

    I thought she had already had a lobotomy. Maybe that was Jerry Brown. I get them mixed up.

    • Bargis

      Sep 14th, 2014

      Walter, Brown and Pelosi exhanged brains in 1977 during a wild LSD party in Malibu. Now, Nancy gets phantom hard-ons and Jerry squats when he pees.

  2. E. Williams

    Sep 14th, 2014

    B, did you take those pics with your iPhone? Very quick turnaround time on getting those developed and nice shots!

  3. Philbert of Macadamia

    Sep 14th, 2014

    EW: Another good one.

    • Bargis

      Sep 15th, 2014

      Yes a great one! Can you imagine that ‘other site’ (not Lowton’s) wanted EWvil gone! That’s right. The site owner had a hard-on for Evil because he’s a conservative and told the truth about things. Funny how those libs do that to people. No wonder syphillis was invented.

      • E. Williams

        Sep 15th, 2014

        I think things are drying up over there. When I started writing there, they were still advertising cash prizes for top writers. Withing weeks I was giving them more stories than anybody else and the reviews were mostly positive. I assumed things were going well when, after submitting about 20 articles, I was given the coveted gift of being able to self-publish on the site. But no cash prizes were ever given out and, eventually, their true colors started to show and it was apparent I was too conservative for them. Oh well. Adios!

  4. E. Williams

    Sep 15th, 2014

    Thanks Phil!

  5. Philbert of Macadamia

    Sep 15th, 2014

    The EPA has declared Nancy Pelosi a toxic waste dump; too much Plastic, Botox and Bullshit!

  6. Johnc540

    Sep 16th, 2014

    nasa, , harold hill eegecdaceggc

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