Democrats Quarantine Obama Virus For Midterm Elections

by on 09/10/14 at 5:07 am

"Doctor, is that Chris Matthews chart?" "Yes. Poor guy. First he loses that leg tingle and now his balls have fallen off."

“Doctor, is that Chris Matthews chart?”
“Yes. Poor guy. Too bad. Another case of Obama Virus. First, he loses that leg tingle and now his balls have fallen off.”


It has become apparent Democrats have decided that their political futures are in enough peril in the upcoming midterm elections that it is in their best interest to quarantine the bothersome Obama virus until after the elections. Many top Democrat politicians have been going through a decontamination process to persuade their constituents that they are not infected or carrying the Obama virus.

In the past, carriers of the Obama virus were carefree and happy but, as the virus has mutated since the November 2012 elections, many Americans want nothing to do with the virus and shun those who still appear to be infected.

Some of the infected, like Mary Landrieu of Louisiana and Mark Udall of Colorado, are seen as Obama zombies who are so infected with the disease that there is no hope for them and the experimental treatment they have been pursuing is not working because the illness has progressed too far.

Other candidates, like North Carolina’s own Kay Hagan, is fighting for her political life despite having the albatross of the Obama virus around her neck. Symptoms of the virus include lying, applying double standards, flip-flopping, denying past statements despite video evidence to the contrary, and denying having the virus in the first place.

First Lady Michelle Obama who, despite carrying the Obama virus, has been venturing out to promote certain candidates herself. However, many Democrats recognize she carries the political stench of the disease and are trying not to be seen with the once popular First Lady.

Many Democrats have tried to fool voters into believing they are immune from the Obama virus but voters are opting to stay on the safe side and not chance further exposure after seeing the trouble the virus has wreaked on the nation to this point. It appears citizens are strongly considering mass inoculations against the strain in November to stop the spread of the virus and contain the damage.

Aside from being brought out for fundraisers, the Obama virus is mostly being isolated and quarantined in the White House, which will have to be doused in bleach once the current patient moves out in early 2017. Other than staying away from Democrats who still carry the virus, the public is being strongly urged to stay away from all upscale golf courses since the virus is known to show up there on a regular basis.

4 Responses to “Democrats Quarantine Obama Virus For Midterm Elections”

  1. Captain america

    Oct 9th, 2014

    in KY some DEMS have taken to wearing lumps of coal as a talisman
    around their neck to prove they really, really love the coal industry and are against Obama’s EPA intent on putting thousands out of work and raising electricity rates 25%…..apparently it doesn’t ward off the Obama Virus as they are now having diarrhea spewing from their mouths on the campaign trail…(what’s in your stocking for Christmas???)

  2. Captain america

    Oct 9th, 2014

    PS: White House Staffer: “I did not have sex with that Puta from Columbia while interviewing dance partners in my hotel room for the Secretary of State and making a video of her moves for the Tango..”

  3. Philbert of Macadamia

    Oct 9th, 2014

    Commander in Chief Obama orders all US Naval Ships CO’s to con their ships only from the left wing of the Bridge, including submarines!

  4. Philbert of Macadamia

    Oct 10th, 2014

    Nero supposedly fiddled while Rome burned, Obama goes to fund raisers!

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