by E. Williams on 13/10/14 at 6:45 am
WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com)
17 year-old White House spokesman, Josh Earnest, has asked his boss for the entire month of November off and has already booked tickets for an undisclosed location in the Caribbean, due to the upcoming midterm elections. “I have a really bad feeling about this and I think it’s best to just lay low for a while,” Earnest said.
Admitting he was a novice bullshit artist compared to his predecessor, 16 year-old Jay Carney, Earnest said there was no way he would be able to spin the situation if the Republicans score major victories in the midterms. “I’m good, but I’m not Carney good! Can Jay cover for me while I’m on leave?”
Carney, currently lying on CNN, sent encouragement to Earnest and said he does not envy the new spokesboy’s job. “It’s going to be tough if he can’t get off next month,” Carney stated. “Not only does he have the midterms, but right after that he’s got to spin the big increases in Obamacare premiums that are being withheld until mid-month for political reasons. People are going to be PISSED!”
There has been no word from the White House so far on whether President Obama will approve the professional fibbers request for an extended vacation. However, most in-the-know pundits predict Earnest will be allowed to leave for the month and, as with so many other scandals, the President will simply choose to ignore the reality of the situation and act as if the elections never happened in the first place.
Earnest feels certain his time off request will be approved but he sounded like he was already laying the groundwork for a contingency plan, just in case. “The only thing that might preclude me from being here if I don’t get my vacation time would be if I had to call in sick because I had come down with some mystery illness, say from Africa, that would make my bosses not want me to show up at the press briefing room.”