by E. Williams on 16/10/14 at 3:07 pm
WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com)
Add ‘stopping the Ebola crisis’ to the list of things the current administration and the CDC ( Crappy Disease Control), an agency which has been nearly useless to this point in helping to contain the spread of Ebola, are putting off taking seriously until after the midterm elections. Both entities have been caught flat-footed and are playing catch-up to the disease instead of being more proactive about trying to contain the disease.
So far, appointing a new Activist General to replace Eric Holder has been put on hold until after the midterms for political reasons.
The Army’s investigation results on Bowe Bergdahl, the deserter who was traded for five bad guys, has been put on hold until after the midterms for political reasons.
Obamacare premium hikes for 2015 have been put on hold until after the midterms for political reasons.
Obama’s decision on immigration reform has been put on hold until after the midterms for political reasons.
It even appears the administration wants to postpone Thanksgiving until after the midterms for political reasons!
17 year-old White House spokesman, Josh Earnest, today hinted there were reasons for the CDC and other federal agencies delaying working harder on combating the disease until after the midterms – “Naturally, our hope is that more Republicans will contract the disease than Democrats, and maybe that will keep more Republicans away from the polls on election day. I know that probably sounds cold and brutal but that’s exactly how desperate we are at this point. If the Republicans win the Senate, trust me, you’re going to wish you had Ebola instead!” Earnest laughed. Josh was then grounded for the rest of the week by his mom for saying such a horrible thing.
Even the stock market has contracted Ebola and the CDC never saw it coming. The market has been bleeding cash and hemorrhaging gains for a week now and millions of people in the market have been exposed. It feels like the government is always two steps behind this latest crisis and The Three Stooges are in charge of keeping us all safe, no disrespect to The Stooges, of course.