by Bargis Tryhol on 05/11/14 at 5:46 am
The White House – (satireworld.com)
With poll numbers sliding faster than butter on a hot skillet, the current occupants of the White House are starting to realize that a moving date prior to 2016 might be a reality with a new Republican senate and possible impeachment impending.
Empty moving boxes first started to arrive as early as November 1st as the First Family made plans to exit the White House under the cover of darkness and head back to Hawaii where they’ll become residents for a really long vacation.
Vice President Joe Biden helped prepare the Oval Office memorabilia and Presidential papers for pick-up by Steve’s Moving Service who has been moving past president’s personal items for 85 years. Steve Montrose, age 110, has his two sons Elmer and Gomer help him as heavy boxes are becoming difficult for Steve to move now, but he still loves the excitement of seeing a First Family head for greener pastures.
“When we moved that Carter feller, he was a pretty sore loser and he threw stuff all around and was mad as a wet hen,” says Steve as he recalled some of the more memorable moves.
“Now that Clinton bunch really took it hard. Cussing and moaning as he packed up his shit. Had one box filled with weird sex toys too and a whole bunch of them really stinky cigars that he made us promise not to tell his wife about!”
Archivial specialists from the Smithsonian Institute promised to be on hand during the move so a repetion of the last controversial move-out by a Democrat occupant wouldn’t happen again when one-of-a-kind White House table settings, artwork, and Presidential Seal embroiderd towels mysteriously went unaccounted for in January, 2000.
The U-Haul Corporation has promised Steve the use of a free moving truck for as far as the California coast. The GOP Election Committee promised a free raft and oars for the First Family’s exclusive use from the California coastline to their destination.