Man Takes Race Card to Pawn Shop, Leaves Empty Handed

by on 08/11/14 at 7:03 am

Sales of the official Jesse Jackson Race Cards have plummeted, being replaced with Candy Crush debit cards.

Sales of the official Jesse Jackson Race Cards have plummeted, being replaced with Candy Crush debit cards.

BALTIMORE, MD – (satireworld.com)

Yesterday, a man walked into a local pawn shop in hopes of cashing in a race card he found lying around, only to be disappointed to find out the thing was worthless. The pawn shop owner tells us race cards have been so overplayed in recent years that they have lost all value and are no longer even worth the paper they’re printed on.

During these tough economic times, James Farmer, the man who brought in the race card, was hoping he would find out he had found something useful and was looking to cash in. “I was very surprised,” Farmer said. “I see people on TV still playing their race cards so I thought maybe I had something. But the owner told me the cards are a dime a dozen these days and even went so far as to say the cards are a joke to most people. Craziest thing I ever saw!”

The card Farmer brought in was in pretty rough condition, with bent corners and creases, obviously from overuse in the past. Fortunately, the cards lose value each time they are played so there is no such thing as a “vintage” race card that increases in value over time.

“Those people on TV must not realize how much they look the fool,” Farmer continued, “I guess in the old days people only pulled out their race cards when there was a legitimate reason for doing so. Then EVERYBODY started playing them and, suddenly, they don’t have any prestige anymore. I guess it would be like if everybody had gold, then gold wouldn’t be any big deal either.”

After speaking briefly with the store owner, Farmer started toward the door when a white guy walked in. Farmer, a black man, flashed his card at the white male who burst out laughing. Farmer turned back toward the owner behind the counter and said, “You’re right. This thing’s useless.” He then tossed the card into a trashcan by the front door, muttering something about “the idiots who overplayed their race cards and ruined them for everybody.”



3 Responses to “Man Takes Race Card to Pawn Shop, Leaves Empty Handed”

  1. Bargis

    Nov 8th, 2014

    bullseye! Best one yet.

  2. captain america

    Nov 8th, 2014

    ….green stamps were worth something once too…it was a big ponzi marketing scheme where you bought something you didn’t want, got some stamps, which you llicket like a stamp, and put them in a book which when it was full, you turned in for a prize…most just ust stayed in the kitchen ‘junk drawer’ cuz when you checked the catalogue you found out there was nothing you really wanted, and none if it was worth anything….tthe Race Card…a lick and a promise that never amounted to anything but people still have them in their ‘junk drawer’ after 40 years…
    a lot of disappointed ‘folks’ who keep showing up at the Democrat’s version of the Antiques Road Show!

    Great piece Evil!!

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